Pulaski

Life in the US bears a similar relationship to the Hollywood imagery of the US* as the Harry Potter films do to life in the UK.

The TV show "Cops" is a notable exception.

Rete

Hi dear. It is so wonderful to have a dream and to work towards its fulfillment. Perhaps in time, medical intervention will help you deal with your OCD and enable you to rejoin society as a productive member where you will start enjoying life. Being isolated as you are is not allowing you to be part of society where you can make friends, go to movies, out to dinner, or out on dates. That's what appears to be missing in your life and is leading you to dream of a better life in the US as opposed to the UK.

If it helps at all, you might want to start looking into what fields of employment will garner you a means to seek and obtain a work visa in the US in the future. Your education in tourism will not give you that opportunity.

Since you are unable to leave your house, perhaps you can choose a course of study and enroll in college for on-line study until your doctors have gotten you to the point where you can leave the house and attend school in person. Why not look into changing careers with the option of it being a career that is in demand in the US.

scrubbedexpat027

I do get a little tired of most people's default response to posts like this being that America isn't all it's cracked up to be. It depends where you move to, what your standard of living is, and what your vision was in the first place.

America for me is everything I dreamed of and more. I live in LA, have great weather, loads of lovely beaches, lots of outdoor activities, film crews everywhere. I even work next to 'CHiPs' headquarters!

Sure life can still be s**t sometimes. That's life and it'll be like that everywhere, but to just tell everyone who dreams to make the move that it's nothing like you envisioned. How do you know?

I get it. Going from what the OP has posted (including the grammar) they have very little chance of getting here. But working towards what you want is always a good thing I believe even if you don't make it.

Pulaski

But that's the point of those posts, I think, that if your life is crappy in the UK (which is what the OPs of these type of posts usually say, or hint at), moving to the US is unlikely to miraculously turn your life into something wonderful. If you have money in the UK there is certainly a good likelihood that you can find something good in the US, but even that is far from certain - I was miserable in New York and glad to get out of the place.

Nutmegger

The OP is obviously having a tough time and looking for a panacea. Do you really think that it is fair to encourage her to put on the rose-colored glasses? There are times when it is better to be frank. I think that the UK "safety net" is very important to her and that life without it would be extremely difficult. I wish her the best, but, as I stated before, trying a change of scenery a little closer to home would be an excellent first step.

scrubbedexpat027

To be honest, this particular post probably wasn't a great one to pick up my beef with as I agree with most of the advice given. I think I've just seen one too many times the automated response of 'America isn't any better'.

I myself, suffered with depression for many years and the biggest offenders of crushing my dreams were well wishers and it's the last thing I needed. Now I'm here of course, everyone knew I could do it!

kayliegh1607

Sorry to hear about your depression as well, how did you come to terms with I and handle it, seeing so many people saying I wont be able to move just puts me in a worst mood the hope that one day I could move was giving me a reason and a purpose to get better.

scrubbedexpat027

I'm in no way qualified to comment on mental health (especially other people's) and this isn't really the place so I won't go into any details.

But for my personal situation, after years and years of different approaches, the solution all came down to one thing:

Running.

Pulaski

I agree with you and disagree with most of those posts but if i picked on the ring-leader of that school of thought my post would be deleted and I would risk a ban.

For me at least, there is a lot less $4!t in the bucket in America and I am a whole lot better off here, yet for much of my life before "moving over" my opinions would have been dismissed as those of a hopeless dreamer.

kayliegh1607

Thank you I'm currently getting treatment so hopefully I get better soon, also thanks for the online course advice I might try and do one of them.
I've been trying to look but cant find anything do you know which jobs will get me through??

Pulaski

Statistically, science, technology, engineering careers are alway listed as the best bets, but trying to pick a career based on your liklihood of getting a visa in the US dooms you to a career you don't enjoy and the overall liklihood that you still don't get a visa to live and work in the US.

I met my wife on-line and am in the US because I got a spouse visa. A number of others here on BE are in the US for the same sort of reason after an on-line relationship was turned into a real-world relationship.

ian-mstm

With respect, you started this thread with an unrealistic expectation... and our job is not to make you feel better - it's to paint a realistic picture of what you'll be facing in the US. There is no social safety net here, and if you're only just hanging on in the UK, then the US is - quite literally - the last (and quite probably the worst) place you want to be.

That said, if you're unable to go outside then you sound well suited to an online job from which you could telecommute. Perhaps a more realistic first step would be to find work for a US company (or UK company with a branch office in the US) that would allow you to work from home.

Ian

ScousePete

Playing devil's advocate for a minute...

Leaving the UK was the best thing I ever did. Back home I looked and sounded the same as everybody else. My life wasn't crappy, but it was unremarkable. When I went travelling (which I recommend to everyone!) I found that I was different, and I really enjoyed the attention of being different. People were interested in me. It was enough to make me reevaluate my life and realise that there was more out there. Inspiration comes from within, but sometimes a change in scenery in necessary to unlock it.

Guindalf

Kayleigh,

Please don't think we're being mean. We're not. Some members, myself included, tend to be very blunt and we see stories like yours all the time, so I just wanted to point out a couple of things, some of which may have been said before, but I'll try to put them in a better way.

First, the US is notoriously difficult to get into as a resident for anyone, let alone someone with medical issues of any kind, and it can be extremely expensive to get treatment as there really is little or no help available if you can't pay for it!

Second, it's really easy to get an impression of how 'great' as country is by watching TV seeing the detectives solve crimes in 60 minutes and even the most dysfunctional families hug it out after 26 minutes of hilarity! Reality is VERY different and it comes as a big shock to people who come here unprepared. The USA is also an extremely big country and even the weather ranges from tropical to frozen wastelands.

Finally, and I know I'm over-simplifying a very complex situation, the reason YOU want to move. It really isn't because you like the States, is it? It's because you think if you were to come here, somehow all your problems would go away. Well, that couldn't be further from the truth. If you were to come to the US on that basis, not only would they still be there, but the chances are they'd be amplified, possibly to the point where you really couldn't cope!

I don't know what kind of support system you have available to you where you are, but I'm be prepared to make a hefty bet that you have family that loves you and doctors you can call when you need to, neither of which you'd have here.

The best advice anyone can give is to speak to a professional. Explain your thoughts and feelings and accept the help they offer. You really need to work on your health before thinking about moving away from where the best healthcare is.

Good luck and keep on keeping on!

All this is just my 2 cents, obviously.

Twinkle0927

I work in air travel and many online travel agencies employ home workers (I am referring to the U.K. here). If you can't leave the house, have you considered applying to one of them? Hays Travel, the Co-Operative travel group are just some that spring to mind.