imalzrd

and before deciding to start the whole process? Which in the US gov. eyes pretty much starts with marriage. I know I read a post somewhere from a regular contributor that did NOT wait very long, and is still happily married, but suggested in that post that the person wait longer.

In my 'marriage help..please!' post I did not mention this, so I do it now.

I have not known my S/O very long. (Sept. 23) But we, and only we, know the depth of how connected we have become. and for us, who will not be able to actually be together in 'Real World' for quite some time after I file a I-130, do not want to wait to start the process. He is ship bound as you may know, so unless we were independently wealthy, and could travel frequently, and visit each other frequently, consistant Real World is not going to happen until this process is over.



there certainly is an un-healthy amount of flack from family and friends about this. "Is he after a green card?" has become a standard statement. The negativity is astounding. I've never been pressured by my S/O....ever. We aren't children, have both been married before, have made each other aware of our ups and downs, good sides/no so good sides.....and still just feel so blessed to have found each other. It is getting hard to be understanding to the inquiries of the well intentioned folk I tell. We could have just scampered off and not told a soul....but are trying to do the right thing all the way around. From doing this legally, to bringing our loved ones in the loop.

As I make wedding plans (I found an adorable chapel right down the street from me in my little town) I'm finding myself deluged with nay-sayers...and want so bad for people to be happy for us. I welcome constructive thoughts and such...but the immediate criticism is depessing. Unless, as I did with my sister (she is thrilled for us) , I take 2 hrs. to lay out exactly how we met, how we've gotten so close and committed, why we are taking this path and practically everything we've exactly talked about....people just aren't going to get it. and its exhausting.

I just thought I'd be entirely honest with you all.....any nay-sayers included. ;0)

Debs~

Noorah101

I met Sadegh when I was on vacation in Turkey. So here's our timeline below:

1997 - met briefly in Turkey, while I was there on vacation, spent maybe a couple of hours together.

2001 - I went to Turkey on vacation again, looked him up, he was still there, spent about 5 days together, decided to start a relationship.

2003 - After 2 years talking on the phone, we decided we are a good match and that we love each other, so went to Turkey and got engaged. Spent 3 weeks with him. Started the K-1 fiance visa process.

2004 - Went to Turkey to attend his visa interview, spent 2 weeks there with him, returned to USA together.

So although our timeline was lengthy, most of it was on the phone. The first gap of 4 years apart, we were not even in touch, so we consider 2001 to be our "starting point" in our relationship. We had only spent about 4 weeks in real life together before deciding to go through with the K-1 visa. We just "knew" it was right for us.

Believe me, I got a few strong comments about meeting an Iranian overseas and then bringing him here. Many people thought he was after a green card. I listened politely and said thank you for your concern, then did what I felt was right.

Sadegh's been in the USA almost 6 years now and is a USC, and we're very happily married. It was the right thing for us, and when you feel it in your heart and address all the potential issues up front, it can work out. I followed my heart and was successful.

My personal opinion is that it's your life, and you don't have to explain anything to anyone.

Rene

Rete

Without having to go back and read your prior post, are you doing the K-1 Fiance Visa or the I-130 Spousal Visa with your then husband returning to his country to wait out the process?

I'm the old lady of the forum and probably one of the naysayers since I'm a mother and grandmother.

Please bear in mind that those of us who reside here on the US immigration forums, and, yes, it feels like a residence, have been here long enough to see all manners of romance, and, unfortunately, the emotional devastation that comes when the romance dies and divorce rears its ugly head. We've seen couples who feel into lust and call it love. We've seen the deception fostered by foreign love interests who only want an easy way into the US. We've heard forum members say to those who have no way to emigrate to the US to find a USC to marry. We've seen couples who are physically, emotionally and/or financially hurt by spouses who have successfully hidden their dark side. And believe it, or not, it is not just a warning to females but to males and to foreign love-interests as well as to USC.

I have no clue of your ages, maturity levels, etc. and it is not my place to tell you what to do. However, since you brought up a personal issue, I would tell you to take your time. Don't rush into anything. Get to really really know your intended spouse before marrying. In the end, it is your life, may you find happiness always in your marriage.

Poppy girl

I say follow your heart and listen to what you both feel.

I have a GF back in Australia she met her now hubby online on a saturday afternoon he drove down from the sunshine coast that evening, he moved in a week later after going to collect his stuff, 10 years later married and a beautiful little girl aged 5yrs

If its right DO IT.....Not everyone has an ulterior motive or wants a GC.

Times change but I seem to remember a lot of war brides coming over to the US after only very few meetings and are still here

Bluegrass Lass

Here's our timeline:

Nov. 2002 - I was overseas studying in Glasgow, Scotland. Met my (now) hubby on an online dating site. I was about 24 and he was 27. So we were fairly youngish.

Dec. 2002 - Took multiple trips around Scotland together and went to Spain together for Xmas.

Jan. 2003 - I returned back to US to finish my degree. We continued our relationship through email/IM/phone.

Mar 2003 - Went back to visit him for a week

May 2003 - He came to the US to see me graduate from uni

June 2003 - I went back to Scotland and he proposed (not unexpectedly).

Aug. 2003 - We started the K1 fiance visa process

May 2004 - We got married.

So before we got married, we spent maybe 3 months physically together, and the rest was long distance. My family did think I was a bit crazy to marry someone that quickly, but I also just knew that we 'clicked' and were meant to be (my fam also thought I was nuts to go live in Scotland by myself for 4months). Prior to us meeting, neither of us had ever even been in a long-term relationship, much less an international one. But five and a half years later, he's now a US citizen & we are still married. We've gone through our ups and downs just like any other marriage. The biggest problem we have in our marriage is that my husband misses his family and he doesn't always agree with the politics here so we have been trying to find a happy medium where we can live that will make both of us happier.

I would say take things as slow as you can, just to make sure it does feel right. Don't worry about what your family or friends think, it is your life and you have to do what you think will make you happy.

imalzrd

We are very comfortable with our decision. Thrilled is more like it! Martin has always given me the option to take more time. I/We need to see that the light is on at the end of the tunnel (start the process). I think others are the ones that need time....but I don't have it to give them. btw....I'm 43, he is 47. 2nd marriage for both. Though I know I'm not the only one who has had to get past this.....its just helps to hear it. and nay-sayers was a poor choice of words for me to use. I KNOW all the doubt from others comes from caring and concern. but it can get overwhelming...
Debs~

Rete

I'm a second marriager myself. I was 50 and he was 57 when we married. That was 11 years ago.

We met online in 1996. Talked online until we met in person in August 1997. Then met every other weekend during the fall and spring of 1997 to 1998 (he's Canadian).

Applied for Fiancee Visa in March of 1998, married September of 1998.

Just Jenney

February 2002 - Met online
September 2002 - Met in person, visited for one month
October 2002 – Got engaged and submitted I-129F petition
January 2003 – I-129F petition approved
March 2003 – K-1 visa interview, application approved
May 2003 – Mark emigrated to the US
June 2003 – Got married
October 2003 – Filed for AOS and EAD
February 2004 – EAD approved
June 2004 – AOS interview, conditional status approved
April 2006 – Filed I-751
October 2006 – I-751 approved, conditions removed
March 2007 – Filed N-400 for naturalization
August 2008 – Naturalization interview, approved same day, Mark’s a USC!

~ Jenney

Ozzidoc

About nine years. But we didn't do a marriage-based visa.

penguinbar

April 2007 - Met Online

May 2007 - He came to the US from Scotland to visit me for a week. We knew that is was special after just one week.

August 2007- I went to Scotland for a week.

September 2007 - He proposed on the phone. Didn't want to wait.

November 2007- Back to Scotland to visit and official proposal in front of his family.

December 2007 Started K1 process.

February 2008-He visited me

March 2008 I 129 approved

June 2008 K1 interview and approval. I had plans to visit him in Scotland during that week an as luck would have it interview was same week.

September 2008- He moved to US

October 2008- Marriage and filed for AOS

January 2009 EAD and Advanced parole approved.
March 2009. RFE for medical. He had one already but we just got another one. Sent info in.
April 2009 - conditional greencard No AOS interview.

We only had met each other twice when he proposed. We are not kids either. I'm in my 40's and he's in his 30's. We spoke on the phone every day after we first met. We physically only spent two weeks together when he proposed and just over a month when we married. Some people thougt we were rushing into it but we just knew. The immigration process is not easy and not cheap! Good luck whatever you do.

ian-mstm

The next time someone asks, I suggest the following response, "If I thought it was any of your damn business how I live my life, I'd ask for your opinion!" With respect, the only way to respond to a rude question is with a rude answer.

Believe it or not (you probably won't believe it, but the regular posters here know me a bit better! ), I've actually said this to both family and friends. Those "friends" who get offended and shove off in a huff, weren't really friends to begin with. And family... ugh, well... you can always remind them that you alone, and not they, are responsible for the decisions you make for yourself.

Now... as to timelines:
March 1997 - Sheila and I met online
May 1997 - met in person!
October 1997 - I proposed
November 1997 - Sheila submits I-129F
April 1998 - I enter the US as a K-1 beneficiary
May 1998 - we got married
June 1998 - submitted AOS package
March 2001 - I became a PR
December 2003 - submitted N-400 package
June 2004 - I became a USC

Ian

Kaffy Mintcake

I obviously didn't have to worry about a Visa but I'm amazed at how quickly all of you got married! As my father's parents divorced when he was a child, I guess we went the opposite route ... by a long shot!

Just Jenney

Well, speaking as a K-1 visa veteran, I guess it comes down to this equation:

One international relationship
- Not enough money to indefinitely maintain it long-distance
+ Only way to live together in the same country is to get married
+ Government's permission is required to live together in the same country
You get married as soon as you can!

~ Jenney

Steffi

August 1993: Moved to US on dad's work visa at age 11
Spring 1999: Met Patrick
November 1999: Started dating Patrick at age 17
Summer 2000: Patrick and I got engaged
Fall 2000: Moved to London to go to University (after my parents convinced me not to elope) and kept long-distance relationship going with Patrick
August 2001: Parents moved back to Europe and I therefore lost my US visa
January 2003: Started K1 process
August 2003: K1 approved, moved to US
November 2005: Green card approved
October 2009: Started N400 process


So in my case it wasn't so much the short dating, but the fact that we were really young. But here we are, over 10 years later, happily married, owning our own business, the immigration process coming to an end. And my parents don't doubt our relationship anymore.

imalzrd

Jenney...all those factors are dead on! for us, even though we will NOT be together after we are married so he can continue working..it ignites the light at the end of tunnel, being together as husband and wife in REAL WORLD. and THAT fact, gives us the drive to get through anything we have too.

ps. our minister is 1/2 Cherokee and 'talks' to crows.....;0) perfect!