Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
Nov 18th 2008, 8:12 pm
#16
Are we there yet?
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: 31 miles from Cool (California)
Posts: 2,467
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
Samba, I used to have a woman working for me who'd sabotage me wherever possible.
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
Nov 18th 2008, 8:12 pm
#17
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
A heart warming family tale.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Holloway
"Wanda Holloway is a woman from Texas, known for hiring a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Holloway
"Wanda Holloway is a woman from Texas, known for hiring a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival."
Nov 18th 2008, 8:14 pm
#18
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
I've coached and co-coached my kid's soccer team for three years.
All the kids on the team are great. Some have the killer instinct and are naturals. We also "carry" a couple of floaters who just drift around following the game. They are either too timid, unsure, or soccer is just not their thing.
It's never been a problem. It's the bell-curve of life, right? Well, I was rather saddened to hear that during the end-of-season party/retrospective, some of the parents say their kids wont be back. They want to position their kids in "more competitive" teams (we're 6-1-1 this season, 7-0-1 last season...).
They don't want to have any "floaters" on the team any more and are literally horse trading their kids with leagues and coaches. "Yeah, we have a slot lined up for little Johnny.)
I think that's kind of sad when the kid is seven years of age. Let them enjoy it.
All the kids on the team are great. Some have the killer instinct and are naturals. We also "carry" a couple of floaters who just drift around following the game. They are either too timid, unsure, or soccer is just not their thing.
It's never been a problem. It's the bell-curve of life, right? Well, I was rather saddened to hear that during the end-of-season party/retrospective, some of the parents say their kids wont be back. They want to position their kids in "more competitive" teams (we're 6-1-1 this season, 7-0-1 last season...).
They don't want to have any "floaters" on the team any more and are literally horse trading their kids with leagues and coaches. "Yeah, we have a slot lined up for little Johnny.)
I think that's kind of sad when the kid is seven years of age. Let them enjoy it.
Nov 18th 2008, 8:14 pm
#19
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Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
)
Nov 18th 2008, 8:17 pm
#20
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Joined: May 2007
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Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
Samba, I used to have a woman working for me who'd sabotage me wherever possible.
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
Trixie.. those are fantastic.. I'm especially liking the last one.. thank you!!!!
Nov 18th 2008, 8:17 pm
#21
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
It's only middle school? I'd assumed it was at least juniors and seniors in high school.
All the cheer moms (bar one my best friend here) that I've met are stunted at the grand old age of 17. So deal with them on that level. Insecure, clicky, jealous, all want to tbe the most popular girl, and will back stab their way to the top of the pile. The only way I've seen to shut up the b*tches is to answer back and don't stand for any cr*p. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you
All the cheer moms (bar one my best friend here) that I've met are stunted at the grand old age of 17. So deal with them on that level. Insecure, clicky, jealous, all want to tbe the most popular girl, and will back stab their way to the top of the pile. The only way I've seen to shut up the b*tches is to answer back and don't stand for any cr*p. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you
Nov 18th 2008, 8:17 pm
#22
Banned
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
Posts: 18,402
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
So, theres this woman.. Shes the cheerleading coach for my daughters team.. She seems to not like me at all.. hmmm, Not even had a proper conversation with the woman.
I'm the kind of mum that gets my kids to practice on time, will make sure they always have what they need.. contribute when needed and always there for games etc.. However, I am not and never wish to be in the 'click' .. I mind my own.. don't get the 'in' jokes.. don't sit and chitter chatter with the mums. Now thats not to say i'm not friendly and smile and chat if someone comes up to me (not that anyone does).. to be honest most of the time I haven't a clue what there going on about!
Well, this coach has taken a dislike of me.. A few times she has commented on my accent and mocking certain expressions I use.. and if I say something to her, she just looks at me with a weird expression as if to say 'i have NO idea what your saying'.. Ignorant Bitch! - Last week we had a 'moms meeting' about this bloody Florida trip.. I sat and listened, put my name down for volunteering and contributed items for baskets to be raffled. Anyway, in front of everyone she says all sarcastically "your not saying much, have you got anything to contribute' :curse:
None of the mums had volunteered for 'security duty' at cheer competition on Sunday.. and i could have bet my mortgage that she would email me personally to ask me to do it.. and she did.. I have no problem doing it, but I'm pissed off thats she has singled me out.
This is what gets my goat most.. A few weeks back at a match the football players chose a cheerleader to wear their shirt.. My daughter got the star players shirt.. whoopdy doooo.. who gives a toss.. well apperantely quite a few of the mums.. because there little angel didn't get it!!! - and especially this coach it would appear.. I haven't the time or energy to be dealing with the ridiculousness of it all
And I have to spend a week with these people.. I swear to god someone will get hurt!!
How do I deal with this woman.. I want to say something to her to put her in her place.. whilst being cool and collected!! - (NOT my best attributes!)
I'm the kind of mum that gets my kids to practice on time, will make sure they always have what they need.. contribute when needed and always there for games etc.. However, I am not and never wish to be in the 'click' .. I mind my own.. don't get the 'in' jokes.. don't sit and chitter chatter with the mums. Now thats not to say i'm not friendly and smile and chat if someone comes up to me (not that anyone does).. to be honest most of the time I haven't a clue what there going on about!
Well, this coach has taken a dislike of me.. A few times she has commented on my accent and mocking certain expressions I use.. and if I say something to her, she just looks at me with a weird expression as if to say 'i have NO idea what your saying'.. Ignorant Bitch! - Last week we had a 'moms meeting' about this bloody Florida trip.. I sat and listened, put my name down for volunteering and contributed items for baskets to be raffled. Anyway, in front of everyone she says all sarcastically "your not saying much, have you got anything to contribute' :curse:
None of the mums had volunteered for 'security duty' at cheer competition on Sunday.. and i could have bet my mortgage that she would email me personally to ask me to do it.. and she did.. I have no problem doing it, but I'm pissed off thats she has singled me out.
This is what gets my goat most.. A few weeks back at a match the football players chose a cheerleader to wear their shirt.. My daughter got the star players shirt.. whoopdy doooo.. who gives a toss.. well apperantely quite a few of the mums.. because there little angel didn't get it!!! - and especially this coach it would appear.. I haven't the time or energy to be dealing with the ridiculousness of it all
And I have to spend a week with these people.. I swear to god someone will get hurt!!
How do I deal with this woman.. I want to say something to her to put her in her place.. whilst being cool and collected!! - (NOT my best attributes!)
I feel for you. I've been here 21 years and just can't manage to do that whole. "How are you?" Fake compliments and hateful cliqueness that many Americans seem to excel at in the corporate and private world.
I've had numerous comments over the years from 'only joking' snide remarks to confrontations.
I remember in 1991 we were at a huge company meeting at the Grand Ole Oprey house in Nashville when the Gulf war broke out and we saw the first pictures on TV via CNN. You could see the Americans in the confernce room getting all patriotic as is to be expected. One of my American colleagues, who I could not stand, announced to our group that if the war escalated Tom would not have to go as he was not American. I calmly put him in his place by informing him that I had registered with selective services which was a pre-requisite of my legal residence. I would be drafted before him due to me falling in the draught age 18 -26 and he would be called after me as he was to old for the immediate draught. That shut him right up, although I actually felt like punching him in the face for singling me out and trying to embarress me :curse: I'm afraid it's just par for the course and part of the price for being an immigrant. I've had many examples over the years.
I guess you either brush it off or make a stance with some good old British sarcasm and piss-takes. They usually have little comeback if you really get stuck into them in British fashion and are usually slow with quips
Problem is you may alienate yourself and your daughter or it could make her STFU. It's your choice.I say get pissed, take the piss and start a big cat fight at the next meeting before being hauled off by security screaming drunken profanities. You know you want to
Nov 18th 2008, 8:18 pm
#23
Peace onion
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
Samba, I used to have a woman working for me who'd sabotage me wherever possible.
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
I practiced stock-phrases and had them to hand whenever she misbehaved - usually at big meetings where she could undermine me infront of the most people.
Some handyones we're "Why do you need to know?" or "I don't think that's part of your remit" or "this isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this"
Anyway, those would shut her down.
I suggest that you get a few of your own like "I'm sorry, being a PE teacher isn't such a deal in the UK, you'll have to excuse me when I don't treat it as such"
"In England, we're not obsessed with this sort of thing, so if you want me to do something, just ask nicely"
"is it my accent that makes you uncomfortable? or something about me personally? I can slow down if that will help you talk to me with more manners"
Nov 18th 2008, 8:21 pm
#24
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Joined: May 2007
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Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
A heart warming family tale.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Holloway
"Wanda Holloway is a woman from Texas, known for hiring a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Holloway
"Wanda Holloway is a woman from Texas, known for hiring a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival."
Nov 18th 2008, 8:23 pm
#25
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
The scariest thing about that is... I absolutely wouldn't put it past some of these mums.. I know I am not the most complimentary person when it somes to cheerleading - and i'm trying my hardest to appreciate the 'art' of it.. but truely, truely.. it just ain't that important!!
Nov 18th 2008, 8:31 pm
#26
L2, GC, Surrey, OH, TX!
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Surrey to Dallas (via Ohio)!
Posts: 6,363
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
if you want to avoid security duty the next time just make sure you volunteer for something that would clash with it beforehand. OR make out like its the best thing ever and you MUST do it - so the old cow will try and give the priviledge to someone else! (ie double bluff!).
I must admit - this kind of thing is something i so dont look forward to. Its many years away (eldest is 4!) but it still fills me with dread! Im never going to be a yummy mummy in a million years and can only begin to imagine how much they will dis me behind my back!
I must admit - this kind of thing is something i so dont look forward to. Its many years away (eldest is 4!) but it still fills me with dread! Im never going to be a yummy mummy in a million years and can only begin to imagine how much they will dis me behind my back!
Nov 18th 2008, 8:35 pm
#27
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Joined: May 2007
Location: O.C. CA
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Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
It's only middle school? I'd assumed it was at least juniors and seniors in high school.
All the cheer moms (bar one my best friend here) that I've met are stunted at the grand old age of 17. So deal with them on that level. Insecure, clicky, jealous, all want to tbe the most popular girl, and will back stab their way to the top of the pile. The only way I've seen to shut up the b*tches is to answer back and don't stand for any cr*p. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you
All the cheer moms (bar one my best friend here) that I've met are stunted at the grand old age of 17. So deal with them on that level. Insecure, clicky, jealous, all want to tbe the most popular girl, and will back stab their way to the top of the pile. The only way I've seen to shut up the b*tches is to answer back and don't stand for any cr*p. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you
Their 2 boys have gone off to college now.. both played football in high school... they did the whole training every night of the week.. hired personal trainers for their boys, so they would be the 'best' and always get picked and not be sat on the bench.. He said it became their life.. it consumed everything. With their daughter they had begun the merry-go-round again, this time with softball.. Their daughter begged them to let her give it up.. but they made her continue.. and then they just decided "whats it all about"... she wanted to do Cheer.. and they let her.. she loves it and they are happy to go along with it.. It was quite refreshing to see that they had realised that they had gone completely over board on their boys... they had been those 'pushy parents' and weren't going to do the same to their daughter..
Nov 18th 2008, 8:37 pm
#28
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
The scariest thing about that is... I absolutely wouldn't put it past some of these mums.. I know I am not the most complimentary person when it somes to cheerleading - and i'm trying my hardest to appreciate the 'art' of it.. but truely, truely.. it just ain't that important!!
I don't know how long you've been in the states but for the sake of argument - just try to remember how hard it is for kids to make new friends in new environments. Actually it is a hellish existence to be an outsider in high school in America. If your daughter likes cheerleading and is good at it - maybe you could just overlook all of the BS for her sake? Cheerleading will make her popular and can help her academically as well (scholarships, athletics, connections etc). I definitely wouldn't go to the extreme of feeding the beast by becoming a "cheerleader mom" .... but just remember that anything you do could be used against her. It's an evil and vindictive bitch-faced environment but as long as you are going to let her do it - you really have to play nice with the other mom's/coaches/etc. Sorry. I know it would be much more fun to stab the woman in the face but she'd just come back stronger and meaner.
Nov 18th 2008, 8:39 pm
#29
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Posts: 6,498
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
I absolutely dread the day that I would have to take my child to a cheerleading practice. Actually, I may outright ban my future daughter(s) from anything related to cheerleading. Dance maybe, but never cheerleading.
Samba, my smart-ass mouth would probably spout off something like: Grow the f&ck up biatches, and get some godd@amn perspective.
Samba, my smart-ass mouth would probably spout off something like: Grow the f&ck up biatches, and get some godd@amn perspective.
Nov 18th 2008, 8:42 pm
#30
Bloody Yank
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: USA! USA!
Posts: 4,186
Re: Help! - I don't want to have to hurt someone..
So, theres this woman.. Shes the cheerleading coach for my daughters team.. She seems to not like me at all.. hmmm, Not even had a proper conversation with the woman.
I'm the kind of mum that gets my kids to practice on time, will make sure they always have what they need.. contribute when needed and always there for games etc.. However, I am not and never wish to be in the 'click' .. I mind my own.. don't get the 'in' jokes.. don't sit and chitter chatter with the mums. Now thats not to say i'm not friendly and smile and chat if someone comes up to me (not that anyone does).. to be honest most of the time I haven't a clue what there going on about!
Well, this coach has taken a dislike of me.. A few times she has commented on my accent and mocking certain expressions I use.. and if I say something to her, she just looks at me with a weird expression as if to say 'i have NO idea what your saying'.. Ignorant Bitch! - Last week we had a 'moms meeting' about this bloody Florida trip.. I sat and listened, put my name down for volunteering and contributed items for baskets to be raffled. Anyway, in front of everyone she says all sarcastically "your not saying much, have you got anything to contribute' :curse:
None of the mums had volunteered for 'security duty' at cheer competition on Sunday.. and i could have bet my mortgage that she would email me personally to ask me to do it.. and she did.. I have no problem doing it, but I'm pissed off thats she has singled me out.
This is what gets my goat most.. A few weeks back at a match the football players chose a cheerleader to wear their shirt.. My daughter got the star players shirt.. whoopdy doooo.. who gives a toss.. well apperantely quite a few of the mums.. because there little angel didn't get it!!! - and especially this coach it would appear.. I haven't the time or energy to be dealing with the ridiculousness of it all
And I have to spend a week with these people.. I swear to god someone will get hurt!!
How do I deal with this woman.. I want to say something to her to put her in her place.. whilst being cool and collected!! - (NOT my best attributes!)
I'm the kind of mum that gets my kids to practice on time, will make sure they always have what they need.. contribute when needed and always there for games etc.. However, I am not and never wish to be in the 'click' .. I mind my own.. don't get the 'in' jokes.. don't sit and chitter chatter with the mums. Now thats not to say i'm not friendly and smile and chat if someone comes up to me (not that anyone does).. to be honest most of the time I haven't a clue what there going on about!
Well, this coach has taken a dislike of me.. A few times she has commented on my accent and mocking certain expressions I use.. and if I say something to her, she just looks at me with a weird expression as if to say 'i have NO idea what your saying'.. Ignorant Bitch! - Last week we had a 'moms meeting' about this bloody Florida trip.. I sat and listened, put my name down for volunteering and contributed items for baskets to be raffled. Anyway, in front of everyone she says all sarcastically "your not saying much, have you got anything to contribute' :curse:
None of the mums had volunteered for 'security duty' at cheer competition on Sunday.. and i could have bet my mortgage that she would email me personally to ask me to do it.. and she did.. I have no problem doing it, but I'm pissed off thats she has singled me out.
This is what gets my goat most.. A few weeks back at a match the football players chose a cheerleader to wear their shirt.. My daughter got the star players shirt.. whoopdy doooo.. who gives a toss.. well apperantely quite a few of the mums.. because there little angel didn't get it!!! - and especially this coach it would appear.. I haven't the time or energy to be dealing with the ridiculousness of it all
And I have to spend a week with these people.. I swear to god someone will get hurt!!
How do I deal with this woman.. I want to say something to her to put her in her place.. whilst being cool and collected!! - (NOT my best attributes!)
Perhaps your daughter needs a new hobby. The chess club, marching band, stamp collecting club and urban prostitution would be safer, more dignified choices.
Best of luck to you, you're going to need it. If you come to hate the United States as a result of this experience, don't blame me, I tried to warn you...