does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I LOVE my family very much don't get me wrong but I don't really
miss them, with Skype and Facebook I think it bridges the gap alot.
It's funny when people ask me "awww do you miss them", and my response is
uuuummm "no not really"
;)

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

When we lived in England from 1979 to 1991, we saw my parents maybe twice a year and my sister about the same (us in Devon/Somerset, them in Kent/Sussex.) Talked to my mother on the phone once a week. So one of the rationales of moving to the US to be closer to my in-laws, was we'd probably see my family just as much. Long-term though, my parents grew old, needed support, died. If I'd been in England I could have made more frequent short visits and helped my sister more with the stressful support that in the event destroyed her marriage & adversely affected her mental health. And my kids and her's are more or less strangers to each other, having grown up in different countries, and there's no repairing that.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I try and go home home every couple of years, in the 13 years I have been here my Father has been out 9 times, Brother 4 & Sister once.

I believe that once my Father passes, I will probably never see my Sister again, my Brother comes out every few years, even offered to pay for my Sisters flight.

I skype with my Father, but as to actually missing people, no not really, the friends as I expected have all dropped off, not concerned.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Just to add, in the twenty + years we've lived here no member of my family has ever been to the US to visit us. My brother does come to Florida I believe, he might even own a property there, I'm not sure, but certainly never been up here..

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I keep in touch with family by phone, and friends via Facebook. We have quite a larf on FB going over the good old days. I suppose I do miss the face to face ching wags, and all that kind of stuff, too.

Jim.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I miss them.

I don't miss seeing them as such, more that if I need to, I will be able to *get* to them.

After 6+ years we are going home, for me, that give me/us peace.

I discovered (while living here) that I need to be home now.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I Skype my dad, my brothers arnt very techie and havnt got a Facebook
but I play words with friends with the one everyday so I can text him via that.
I have Facebook friends from school, someone recently got a page together for
our year at school so it's been fun getting in contact that way and 2 of my bestfriemds from years ago got
in contact via that and they came over for 2 weeks in August - that was so cool! I hadn't seen them for 16 years and it was like we had never been apart :)
my dads been here a few times but my brothers havnt - weird life eh..

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I miss mine. Didn't think I would, but I do. Mainly my dad because given my parents are divorced I saw him less back home anyway.

My mates, too. Everything, really :(

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Good point, different points of contact work with different people. Our son now lives in England, he's been there since 2006. He and I keep in contact daily via email.. and I don't mean we write each other a little letter each day. Our favourite is to send each other estate agent's listings, he's looking in Cambridge & I'm looking in South Devon. We'll send a link with a waspish remark about the seventies decor or the wallpaper in the second bedroom or whatever, on a good day we shoot 20 or 30 emails back and forth. I see him 2 or 3 times every year, for instance he was just over for Christmas, but the almost daily contact makes a big difference even though the content isn't that weighty!!

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I never get homesick or culture shock, and I don't really miss my family all that much. I see them every week on Skype, before I moved out here I spoke on the phone every couple of weeks, so it's technically an improvement even if I don't stay with them for xmas and such.

I'm actually slightly glad that I won't have to deal with them much as they get older (already missed two funerals) so I don't have to remember them so much in such a state.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I lived in London, both my sons in West Yorkshire. So on a daily or even monthly basis no difference being here. I have a UK number they can call on their cell phone minutes for free, they don't have landlines so saves me the higher cost of calling just to chat. There's Facebook, Skype, email etc and they come for a visit about as often as they did in the UK.

The one thing I do miss is my old mates from The Job. They are meeting in a London pub Thursday and once again I'll miss out on reliving the good old days and the friendship that went with it. We'll be back next year for my older sons wedding so I'll have to sling enough pints down my throat to make up for the ones I've missed.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I had a very small close family anyway and sadly many of them have passed away in the time I've been in the US. So the reality is that I really don't miss my family any more. My closest relative is uncommunicative and seemingly increasingly bitter that I left the UK, so he's really not a pull for me going back to see him. Other than him, the other relatives are more in the category of people I'll visit when I'm in the UK as opposed to people I feel close to.

I feel much closer to friends from when I lived in the UK, and people from my childhood who I have reconnected with. If I do spend part of the year in the UK in retirement, I suspect those friends will be much more a part of my life than my relatives. In some ways this is a little sad, but it is what it is. As I've said in other threads, I believe you have to latch onto people who are actually interested in you and vice versa.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I must say that this has been a really reassuring thread to read so far, thank you to everyone who's posted. I grew up in an expat family and only my immediate relatives live in the UK. I don't have the closest relationship with my family and whenever someone asks me if I miss my family, or if I'm going home for Xmas, it can be a bit awkward.

I haven't been home in years but my parents come out here fairly regularly which is nice. My sister's only made it over here once, and I paid for the flight (not begrudgingly, I did it willingly as a gift). I would love for her to come out again and bring my nephew this time but unless I pay, it's not going to happen. And she wants me to sponsor her for a GC once I become a USC :sneaky: Not at this rate. I'm much closer to my US in-laws and I'm grateful for that close connection. I do also feel lucky to have extended family to visit all over the world. It seems as though my family were just born to flee the uk ;)

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I'm with you. I don't miss mine.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I'm the odd one out, it would seem. Though I did come from a reasonably small family.

Anyone on my side of the fence - is there anyone who honestly wouldn't really miss their in-laws if they were lucky enough to be able to move back to blighty :sneaky:

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

No I wouldn't miss my in-laws. My mother-in-law died two years ago, we were her main carers (she lived in a retirement community in town here.) Now she's gone, that leaves Fran & Dick (or Dan & Frick as my wife dismissively calls them,) SIL & BIL... lovely people but I wouldn't especially miss them.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I miss my family. My parents both died, but I miss my sisters (2) and my brother, and their kids they are all a bit older than me and my oldest sister was like my surrogate mum, her oldest son is closer in age to me than she is. It is easier to keep in touch with video chat and FB etc, but sometimes that makes you feel worse, when you see you are missing out on social things etc.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I prefer phonecalls to keep in touch. Email and FB is fine for silly stuff and quick updates but it's better to make a call once or twice a month as well.

Visits are, of course, even better, but not always doable, obviously!

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I thought I would, when I first moved to America back in 2001 I was living in London with family back in Sunderland and so I did not have a lot to do with them on a daily basis.

This time however, I was living in Sunderland when I came back to America. Seeing parents, brother and sisters regularly I thought I would miss but not so much.

I have been very lucky to marry into a very close family and they have all made me feel exceptionally welcome (even my step-daughter who likes to think she is too cool for feelings).

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I don't miss mine.

Though I'm sure that will change if anything were to happen to my mother and the thought that I might not see her again as she is getting on a fair bit.

Never got on with my sister so no love lost there and my brother is already dead.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Same here - my parents are deceased, but I have a brother and sister in the UK. Neither of them have ever been here - even when my daughters got married and they were invited to their weddings. To be fair, my brother cannot really afford to come here (although I offered to help him with his airfare for the weddings), but my sister could, but has chosen not to. She prefers to travel in Europe (esp France). She is very anti-American so maybe that's why. She used to say she wouldn't come here when Bush (W) was president, but he's been gone over 3 years now and still no sign of her coming here. I would never see her if I didn't make the effort to go back to the UK every 2 - 3 years.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

We miss a lot, and the biggest issue is the problem that our kids cant see grannies :(

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

This sums up how I feel too - I don't miss my family and if truth be known since living here have probably spent more "Quality" time with them all than if I had stayed living in the UK.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I've been here 20 years and miss my family more now than ever. I think it's the realization that a lifetime of missed little interactions like popping around for dinner or a cup of tea has passed and may never happen.
I don't believe I'd miss my in-laws, they are completely different to my own family and I've never felt accepted or loved by them. My family chat, laugh and shout at each other all within ten minutes. My in-laws sit glumly around silently.
On other hand I have a bit of a chip because my family never travel here and I have always had to travel back there. They've been here a handful of times in 20 years and didn't come over for the birth of my kids. That grates a bit, American families seem so tight-nit and supportive compared to mine.
I had an English friend here give a great example of the differences between US and British families...at kids sports events in the US people will bring themselves, coolers, pets, extended family, lawn chairs etc. In the U.K there might be one lone bloke with an alsatian on the sidelines watching the game.
My family claim to be anti-American politics and they do travel all over Europe. It's hurtful but if I want to see them I have to suck it up and hop on a plane.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I guess for me, when I was over in the UK, I missed my family, but I didn't really think about it. Was studying quite a bit, to help with was feelings I did have, I would often go to the pub with my classmates. That sort of camaraderie that you find in pubs really helped with homesickness.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I absolutely miss my parents. Originally, years ago, when we first told them of our plans to accept my OH's job offer, they were really upset. I think my dad felt that I was taking the kids away from my mum, who I have to say, really brought them up in the early years as I was working all the hours God sends to make ends meet financially. So I suppose, the guilt in the beginning for me, was awful. I talk to them on Skype at least once or twice a week, send them photos of what we're up to and keep them up to date on everything the kids are doing, which I know they appreciate, but for them, it's not the same :(

As for the in-laws, if you'd asked me before Christmas if I missed them, I'd probably have said slightly. Now, after the shenanigans during our first visit home, absolutely not and I won't be rushing to book another trip home. For me, I think it's been one of the hardest parts of moving, not being able to pop round when a problem arises that I need advice on, or running to the shops with my mum to get her out for a bit, because my parents have been so supportive since we actually took the plunge. I have to agree with what someone else said, I have certainly found out who matters and who doesn't :sneaky:

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I am very grateful for being a 'safe distance' away from them. The obligations to do stuff with family was annoying. Nowadays, everyone comes over here to visit and I honestly believe I see my mum more now than I ever did before, and more that I would if I were to return (she comes over for about 6 weeks every year).

Email (in the old days) and now Instant Messaging allows my brother and I to communicate way more than we ever did when I lived there.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I hate phone calls! :) I do call my mum on a weekly basis because she's too old to do anything else (won't touch a computer), but I use IM with my brother and it's great. We can have a day-long 'conversation' running in the background as I work and get on with other stuff. With the phone, you can't get on with much else. IM has been a Godsend.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Yeah, but when you're on the phone you can get everyone else to **** off and leave you alone for five minutes, which is a rarity.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I never used to miss my Mum. We're not close but as I got older and she got older...she's more fragile. I travel back once a year to see her at either Christmas or New Year (in freezing Glasgow!) - she can't make the trip out here - too long for her. Since Mum's not doing too well might have to make it back twice a year now.

Miss my best pal too. Pals since childhood. All my pals over here have left and gone back in the last few years so it's hard right now.

Don't miss the rest of the family and I also never invite them out here since I really don't want to spend time with them.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

No. If I went back (haven't in three years this time and didn't for four years before that) I'd seriously debate whether letting any family know purely because of the fact the people I would want to see don't live anywhere near them.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I do miss them. Both of my sisters have been over to visit once in the 8 years I've been over here, my brother has not. Back in England I would see them all two to three times a year. Despite my best efforts, none of them will use skype. My daughters both live there too (although one has been travelling for 10 months and is not there), it is they that I miss the most. One I skype with from time to time, and both of them I chat with on the phone a couple of times a week. Although I would like to have grandchildren, I know that will be very hard to be apart from them too. But I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Talked with my ex-pat husband a little about that. We did do the visit when his mum died last year... He doesn't really want to visit his brother if we visit the "Old Country" in the future... But will give in to a maybe "let him in on one week" of our three-plus week visit.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

It so good to hear that im "normal" for feeling that way ahhhhh:thumbsup:
i also find it very stressful when going back home to fit everyone in, everyone wants us to visit them and stay for longer and if you miss anyone out you get talked about :sneaky:
its funny that people dont realise that as a family of 5 we spend thousands to get over to the uk to visit and have a limited amount of time when we are there.. hey come over to my dads and see us, but no, we have to trapse all over the country to please everyone :eek:

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

No, I don't miss any of my family! The only members that really mattered are dead leaving the dysfunctional nutters behind. I am far better off being thousands of miles away from them...

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I'm with you. I miss my family so much it hurts. I guess it depends on the relationships you had before you moved over. I have one son, 3 sisters, 4 nieces and a bucket load of great-nieces/nephews. I was close to them all - and even though people try to make me feel better by saying I get "quality time" now with my son - i.e. blocks of two weeks every 5-6 months rather than a weekend every month or so; I'd take the latter all the way.
I miss knowing I can see any of them whenever I want. Whether or not I choose to see them, the knowledge I could see any of them within an hour or two, makes a huge difference to me.
My sisters all visit, one annually, one every other year - and one just once in six years; but my son visits twice a year generally... but it still isn't enough. I watch Americans here in the malls and in restaurants with their families and on big family outings and it really hurts.

As for my husbands family, I like them all, very much; especially his sisters; but I know should anything happen and I return to England alone, we would probably not keep in touch for long. I don't have any illusions about that one.

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

I knew I wasn't the only one :lol:

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

i also find it very stressful when going back home to fit everyone in, everyone wants us to visit them and stay for longer and if you miss anyone out you get talked about :sneaky:
its funny that people dont realise that as a family of 5 we spend thousands to get over to the uk to visit and have a limited amount of time when we are there.. hey come over to my dads and see us, but no, we have to trapse all over the country to please everyone :eek:[/QUOTE]

This must be a very common thing. I'm off back home in a few hours and planning my itinerary for visits becomes like a military operation. Might also explain why I come back ill all the time, I think I try to do too much!

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

The benefits of having a small family - we stay with my mum when we visit, my dad comes by to see us and we get to go off and do our own thing. My mum has the rest of the family round for a big do one of the nights and everyone's happy.

Now, getting to see all my mates again would be a different undertaking ...

Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
 

Yes I do every day of the week. Even when they pee me off.

Frank R.