Creeper

I'm sure this has been asked before, but there are a lot of pages and the search function isn't very good. I am currently seeing a Russian woman (I am a US citizen) who is here, married to another man. We know this situation is not good, as her marriage started off as legit, but her hubby turned out to be the cold type, and nothing she does seems to make him want her anymore. She is happy to stay married the year+ she still needs to to apply for citizenship, but should her husband find out about us, things may turn to divorce very quickly. Anyway, my question is, if he decides to take a fast track to divorce, is there any way I could marry her to get her to stay, or is it back to Siberia for her to start the whole process again?

Bob

Once devorced, you could marry and then file for her AOS yourself I'm sure, as long as she doesn't leave the country.
Might want to see an immigration solicitor for a consult though to go through the whole processes...
www.aila.org

welcome to the site btw.

RICKRGRS

Hi,
If you do not have any moral issues with this situation and you are sure that you are not letting your little head do your thinking, and you rationally think this girl will be loyal to you forever, then I suggest you consult with a competent and experienced immigration attorney; ask him/her about a case out of a Federal Court of Appeals in an Eastern U.S. Circuit - I can not remember which circuit. [This case is not exactly in point with your facts, but it is helpful to understand the Court's reasoning, and how it may apply to your situation]

Back three years ago, when I was over-frustrated with the then INS, and I had nothing better to do at night, I found a case that was fairly recent then, that went like this: Russian fiance comes to U.S. on K-1 visa, honeymoon ends soon after arrival. Before the USC and K-1 alien fiance get married, alien falls in love with a different USC and they get married within the 90 day period of the K-1 visa. Later, Russian alien applies for AOS and is denied. INS moves for deportation. Federal Appeals Court reverses INS decision to deport on the grounds that fiance alien entered the U.S. legally, with bona fide intent to marry the first USC, the later break-up was not by her 'fault', intent, or plan. She was granted a visa to enter the U.S. for the purpose of marrying a USC within 90 days, and she did. On that reasoning, the Court reversed the INS judge, and she got her AOS.

I think the issue will be whether your girlfriend had bona fide intent to marry at time of K-1 issuance in Moscow, and at POE. If things objectively change to the point where the marriage is irreparably broken, your Russian chick may qualify for a 'safe harbor' provision in the Immigration Law for just these type of circumstances. You both need legal counseling; immigration and family law. Family therapy would be advisable, too.

P.S. What about the husband? Is he bigger than you? Insanely jealous? Watch your backside, Romeo, and get a pre-nup.

Sarah

Hi
I do sympathise with you, I fell in love with a married man when I was younger and its so painful but I assure you she will either a) never leave her husband or b) leave him and marry you and then leave you.
Honestly I'm not trying to be a know-it-all asshole but these situations never work out where you're the winner. If I could go back with 20/20 hindsight now to when I was in love with the married guy I would have ran for the hills upon meeting him. The pain, trouble and heartache are really really not worth it. If you want things to work out for you guys I take a step back from your relationship and let her sort out her own life and if that means leaving her husband let her do it and come to you naturally, if its meant to be for the two of you then it will happen in time but if not then accept that shes just not that into you. Like I said, in this situation I don't think you'll end up the winner, sorry to be harsh!

ian-mstm

I'm not sure which one of you is the bigger ass!


Hey... I saw this exact same thing on Law & Order. The other guy was eventually convicted of murdering the husband! A just punishment IMHO.


If she finds herself a lover while married, what makes you think she won't do it to you also? You realize, don't you, that you're only getting one side of the story. How do you know she's telling you the truth?

Ian

HunterGreen

Your question is hard to answer, as you don't tell us the status she is in. You talk about citizenship, but if she was eligible to apply for that in a year+ then you wouldn't be worried about her being deported.

On the judgemental side, why wouldn't her husband take the fast road to divorce as she is obviously cheating on him? It's clear that you are afraid of him finding out - if he was really that cold then why would he care what she did?

Elaine

Rete

On the assumption that this OP is not a troll with a kooky story to rev us up, there is too much information missing from his tale to give any type of answer other than an emotional and judgmental one.

He, as you noted, mentioned her citizenship. If her time clock for citizenship has already started then it is assumed that she has legal residency (green card) status already. Or perhaps the OP doesn't know the difference between the two and is using the term citizenship in place of a green card denoting legal residency status.

Although one poster mentioned he found a case where a K-1 recipient was allowed to marry someone other than the person who sponsored her for the K-1 and that the BIA court allowed it, I still would think that the regulation that a K-1 recipient is only allowed to adjust status based on marriage to the person who original petitioned for her is the norm.

So how did she original enter the US? Under what status? What is her status now? How long as she been married?

Like Ian, I've seen that episode of Law & Order several times myself and this does fit doesn't it. Also one has to know that emotionally cold people are not emotionally dead people. What is that adage? Revenge is best served cold?

Creeper

Ok, got more info from her. She came here on a K1 fiancee visa, and was married on April 1, 2002. I will add more info as I get it...thank you all for replies.

jamie_nluv

You are evil. I am sorry. You are aiding in adultry. If she loves you and she no longer loves her husband then she needs to tell him today. If not she is using him for her legal status. Not only illegal but immoral. If you love each other then you will find a way. I am sorry, I have zero tolerance for people cheating on their spouse and #1 not telling them and #2 continuing to do so behind their back for personal gain. You may love her and it may not be your fault she is married, but have some respect for her husband. If he knew would he allow this to happen. No. He has a right to know. What if this was you one day and you had no clue your wife felt how she did and she was cheating on you. Your girlfriend needs to stop being an adultress. If she could do this to him (cheat) it should make you wonder what else she can do and if she would do it to you again one day.

ian-mstm

I wasn't. I was properly divorced and so was Sheila.


No, it isn't. It's a symptom of a totally selfish indulgence. If it was truly a symptom, everyone would do it. This is not a cause and effect thing. Cheating is a symptom of a weak will... nothing more!


Why the hell not? Did it suddenly become noble to live down to our baser instincts? Why don't we all just submit to those baser instincts and screw around at will? After all, to err is human... right? Or maybe we should just slow down a moment and consider whether we are capable of a little restraint. Yes, I think we are! And, with all due respect to your brother, adultery is still wrong. Yes, I will judge.

Ian

jamie_nluv

Adultry is wrong. I agree. People who cheat made a choice. You can not say "I was weak and ....".... You made a CHOICE to cheat and you did not have the GUTS to break off your marriage before doing so. Either you wanted a spare wheel or you think that lying to someone is ok.

coloradomrs

First off, she obviously didn't spend any time getting to know her husband before she married him, which smells like "marriage for Green Card only" loud and clear, and proves that she might not be genuine marriage material for ANY man.
Second, she can get a divorce before being a USC and be allowed to stay in the US if she has been granted a Green Card, so she's feeding you a bogus line by saying she has to stay with hubby for another year. There's a dog buried in her plan........
Third, WHY in the world do you want to dedicate precious time of your life to a woman who says she will stay married and live with him for another year FOR IMMIGRATION PURPOSES ONLY??????!!!!!! Doesn't that clearly prove to you what kind of person she is? If she's willing to treat her husband like a ticket, how can you know she won't use you for something and leave you in the dust in a couple of years when you might be deep in debt because of her etc etc? Are you going to date her during this last year she is with her hubby? Are you going to pick her up for every date at her and her hubby's doorstep and hubby will tell you to have fun and have her back home by midnight, and he'll be perfectly ok with this? HOW is your plan going to work?

jamie_nluv

Damn straight. Not to be mean to the OP, but you need to really take some time to think about the big picture here.

Rete

I would assume because she is Russian and he is a USC that spending a great deal of time in each others presence was prohibitive in terms of time and money. But regardless, I spent nearly a year with my husband before marriage and during that year at least 5 months of it together. I didn't truly know him until after the wedding and we were living together for a few months. I didn't know a great many things about him that at one point made me wish I had never taken the wedding vows. But we are still together, rocky at times, happy at times after 6 years.

So, please don't judge her regarding marriage for a green card only. You don't know her and she is not here to defend herself.

Hey that works for some couples. There are still a great many liberal marriages out there and swinging couples old and young. So what works for some does not have to necessarily work for you.

How his and her plan works is up to them. He asked a question because he knows little or nothing about immigration. The same as all of us here knew little or nothing about it until we were forced to learn. So if you have an answer to his immigration question, answer it. If you want to preach and moralize, then do it with a bent to showing why you think it is wrong without condemning him for having emotional feelings for someone who is married to someone else. He has made his choice. If you want and he allows attempt to persuade him to a different path. But you aren't to do it by belittling his feelings or actions.

Rete
soap box put back under the bed.

coloradomrs

I'm sorry that I had a opinion, everyone else was allowed theirs, so I guess I thought I would be allowed mine. I'll stay away from now on.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone.