A whole decade.

Old Dec 29th 2013, 11:00 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Because the UK is not my home, it never has been, I have always just tried to get on with things. We always said we would end up in Australia but when it came down to it he has decided that he can not live there. I have comprised for many years and I am living on the otherside of the world to all my friends and family.

The sunshine has nothing to do with my decision!
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 6:24 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by louie13 View Post
After reading this I am wondering will my children's lives be better??

My kids lives are no better here, in fact we now have one living halfway across the world because she hated it here, and my 14 year old saying that he is going as soon as he is old enough. I really struggle to understand where this fallacy of a better life comes from, sure the sun shines but it's so damn expensive you can't afford to do anything anyway so whats the point. A year or so ago, we fell on hard times and couldn't afford the school fees (yes school fees for a state school) among a multitude of other expenses, they bullied and threatened us with not teaching our child like it was some sort of protection racket, even after we lost our house bloody scum bags. I for one cannot wait to get the hell out of here before my 2 year olds accent get any stronger .

Last edited by si.young; Dec 30th 2013 at 7:30 am. Reason: Because I can't spell.....
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 7:10 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by si.young View Post
My kids lives are no better here, in fact we now have one living halfway across the world because she hated it here, and my 14 year old saying that he is going as soon as he is old enough. I really struggle to understand where this fallacy of a better life comes from, sure the sun shines but it's so expensive you can't do anything anyway so whats the point. A year or so ago, we fell on hard times and couldn't afford the school fees (yes school fees for a state school) they bullied and threatened us with not teaching our child like it was some sort of protection racket, even after we lost our house bloody scum bags. I for one cannot wait to get the hell out of here before my 2 year olds accent get any stronger .
Omg that's awful, I hope the new year brings better times for you. Like you I wonder where the fallacy of a better life comes from


I can understand the OP's desire to go home as I have that same desire, but I not sure it's worth breaking up the family unit for
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 7:28 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by si.young View Post
My kids lives are no better here, in fact we now have one living halfway across the world because she hated it here, and my 14 year old saying that he is going as soon as he is old enough. I really struggle to understand where this fallacy of a better life comes from, sure the sun shines but it's so expensive you can't do anything anyway so whats the point. A year or so ago, we fell on hard times and couldn't afford the school fees (yes school fees for a state school) they bullied and threatened us with not teaching our child like it was some sort of protection racket, even after we lost our house bloody scum bags. I for one cannot wait to get the hell out of here before my 2 year olds accent get any stronger .
Sorry to hear that you and your family are unhappy here, I hope things improve for you.

I'm shocked to read about the school fees issue. Not sure if it varies from state to state but here in the ACT it's optional - your child should not be penalised if you don't/can't pay. The school fees are equivalent in magnitude to what the "school funds" were in the state schools in the UK.

We moved over here over 3 years ago when our eldest son was 15 and our younger was 13. Both are happy here though the younger one says that if we could turn the clock back then he would have preferred us to stay in the UK.
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 7:29 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by Margaret3 View Post
Omg that's awful, I hope the new year brings better times for you. Like you I wonder where the fallacy of a better life comes from


I can understand the OP's desire to go home as I have that same desire, but I not sure it's worth breaking up the family unit for
I agree. It's a bit of a "rock and a hard place" situation by the looks of things.
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 7:40 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
Sorry to hear that you and your family are unhappy here, I hope things improve for you.

I'm shocked to read about the school fees issue. Not sure if it varies from state to state but here in the ACT it's optional - your child should not be penalised if you don't/can't pay.
Thanks Paulry, they are supposed to be optional in QLD too but it is quickly turning into a totalitarian state. They will be building Campbell Newman's ministry of truth soon
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 9:00 pm
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by louie13 View Post
This thread has confused me even more!!! I am British born dual citizen but lived in Australia since I was 1 years old till I was 27. I have now been living in the UK for 7 years (my partner is British) and have two daughters who where both born in England but have dual citizenship and passports. I have been wanting to move back to Australia (Perth) for the last couple of years as I thought I would be giving my children a better quality of life and more opportunities. My partner does not want to move (we lived there for a year before we had children he hated it) and says he will not come if I decide to go..... So obviously I am very confused and torn. After reading this I am wondering will my children's lives be better??
I can understand the pull / desire to return back to your home. But call a spade a spade, that is why you want to go home and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Not because of a "better life" for the children and the idea that Perth would have more "opportunities" than UK would be hard for most to believe.

Perhaps bring the conversation back to your need to go home and the previous agreement you had, but stay away from the emotive "better life" conversations. Your children's lives will be better for having two parents in one place, whichever that is.
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Old Dec 30th 2013, 9:02 pm
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Sorry you fell on hard times, but it is a bit of a generalisation to say life isn't better for kids out here. It all depends on the individual's circumstances.

For us, not only are we less stressed, but OH still has a job, which he wouldn't in the UK, and DD thrived without being bullied. Her school had room for individuals, she made lots of friends who shared her interests and she wasn't pressured into being in her words, a "boy mad party girl". She isn't an outdoorsy girl- doesn't like the beach, not into boyfriends, likes learning languages and teaches herself, so not a typical stereotype of the Aussie teen.

I hope that you can find a solution.
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Old Dec 31st 2013, 12:41 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

I said my kids, I wasn't generalising apologies if I offended.
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Old Dec 31st 2013, 1:38 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by si.young View Post
I said my kids, I wasn't generalising apologies if I offended.
I'm not offended.
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Old Jan 2nd 2014, 8:26 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts View Post
I can understand the pull / desire to return back to your home. But call a spade a spade, that is why you want to go home and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Not because of a "better life" for the children and the idea that Perth would have more "opportunities" than UK would be hard for most to believe.

Perhaps bring the conversation back to your need to go home and the previous agreement you had, but stay away from the emotive "better life" conversations. Your children's lives will be better for having two parents in one place, whichever that is.
I do agree with this, having been on the other side for many years - it is your need to belong that is driving the move - the "better life" "more opportunities" thing is just a furphy. However, one of you in a mixed marriage is always going to have it all whilst the other has nothing and that's a hard place to be. There are ways of dealing with the sense of displacement if it comes to the point where you are the sacrificial lamb - CBT or ACT are good therapies to try but anyone in this situation needs to work on some sense of compromise - eg if you are the displaced one then the family budget has to include regular trips "home".

On the other topic of "voluntary contributions" yes they are voluntary but many schools apply consequences for non payment of them (yes, in the ACT too) although each school has a hardship fund for those seriously strapped for cash - you have to go cap in hand, often, to ask for it and the usual requirement is that you are on benefits.
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Old Jan 2nd 2014, 8:34 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Originally Posted by quoll View Post

On the other topic of "voluntary contributions" yes they are voluntary but many schools apply consequences for non payment of them (yes, in the ACT too) although each school has a hardship fund for those seriously strapped for cash - you have to go cap in hand, often, to ask for it and the usual requirement is that you are on benefits.

Yes, when we first arrived, the kids who's parents did not pay the "voluntary contributions" received a different (less detailed ), report card, however, thankfully this seems to have stopped.
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Old Jan 2nd 2014, 10:40 am
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Default Re: A whole decade.

Not for one minute doubting anyone elses experiences but mine here in the ACT have been different. I've twice had to chase up to pay our contributions for one college and one high school. In fact I still have one contribution that I intend to pay a high school even though my son has recently finished there.
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