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Material Progress - Social Downfall

Material Progress - Social Downfall

Old Sep 22nd 2013, 7:13 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by quoll
Sounds perfectly normal to me. I left Aus with fewer friends than could be counted on one hand after 32 years. Plenty of acquaintances but no real friends and no invitations to barbies for many years (no barbies at all really unless my UK based son visited and chose to get the Weber Q out of mothballs.) I've had more barbies and social get togethers in the last 18 months here in UK than the previous 20 yrs in Aus! You just learn to be self sufficient!
I can relate to that plenty of acquaintances and that's having lived here over 40 years.. must be my cooking Lol
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Old Oct 5th 2013, 3:54 am
  #17  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by Irish Guinness
I can relate to that plenty of acquaintances and that's having lived here over 40 years.. must be my cooking Lol
We know people who aren't the best of cooks to be honest - but we don't let that get in the way of a good friendship! (he he)
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Old Oct 5th 2013, 8:23 am
  #18  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack
We know people who aren't the best of cooks to be honest - but we don't let that get in the way of a good friendship! (he he)
I wonder sometimes if it's because we are British,one would Hope not.I have a brother who loves in Sanctuary Lakes in Melbourne,he has helped his neighbors so many times,letting them store things in his garage,watering their plants while they are on holidays,and his neighbors 4 doors up had a B.B.Q.asked if they could borrow his B.B.Q and never invited him or his wife along.,very sad really S he is a really nice person.
I only hope it does not make him bitter,but what can you put it down to their bD manners.
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Old Oct 5th 2013, 10:43 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by Irish Guinness
I wonder sometimes if it's because we are British,one would Hope not.I have a brother who loves in Sanctuary Lakes in Melbourne,he has helped his neighbors so many times,letting them store things in his garage,watering their plants while they are on holidays,and his neighbors 4 doors up had a B.B.Q.asked if they could borrow his B.B.Q and never invited him or his wife along.,very sad really S he is a really nice person.
I only hope it does not make him bitter,but what can you put it down to their bD manners.
Nothing to do with being English - we have never had an issue with friendships. I think SL might be the issue - a lot of people pushed into brand new suburban settings with not a lot in common other than wanting housing.

Going back to your point, I sometimes think plenty of Anglo-Saxon people can't cook really well- (unless they are pros). I've lived in some non-Anglo countries where people really seem to know how to balance a meal. Perhaps once Anglos steer away from the old tried and tested...
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Old Oct 5th 2013, 12:50 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by OZrisky
I have posted a couple of times before...basically moved from Leeds to Sydney in 2009.....moved with a great job and got promoted thrice in the last 4 years....built a house....sold the house.....bought another house that feels like Paradise....but inspite of all this...feel very lonely....no matter how hard we try and be nice to people....all sorts and backgrounds.....u just dont feel it is reciprocated.....not even by a decent invite to the so called popular Aussie BBQ.......still love the place....people are generally nice...but only to an extent of 'Hi and Bye'... i think it is hard to re-build friendships that were developed over years and years of hard work....now citizens and here to stay...hopefully things will get better.
Strong friendships are usually born out of shared hardship or stressful times in life. In a way you feel tested and look around at who shared that test and say "I can count on you"

Hence why I would say a majority of offline friendships have been formed through BE.

That is not to say you need to go out looking for further hardship just for the sake of gaining new friendships. But more to appreciate while things are going well it might not be that easy to form a deeper bonding friendship.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 9:34 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Originally Posted by RedDragon2008
Strong friendships are usually born out of shared hardship or stressful times in life. In a way you feel tested and look around at who shared that test and say "I can count on you"
Like raising a family? (A shared experience?)

We got a message from some friends thanking us for letting them have our children for the weekend. They count on us as family and say they wonder what their lives would be without us. Beautiful family. We were touched - the feeling is mutual.

I don't expect to have much in common with someone just because they also moved from the UK - we may have entirely different interests and backgrounds.
Whereas those interests might be reflected in anyone from any country.
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Old Oct 11th 2013, 12:13 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

I've been in Oz for about 2 months now and have met a couple of my neighbours who seem really nice. I've been invited to afternoon tea with one family and supper twice with another. As I'm here on my own, waiting for OH to finish his time in the RN, they seem to have taken me under their wings. Interestingly, when one of the couples (born and bred Aussies) moved into our road they sent invites for their moving in party to every house (about 20 homes) and only two people responded. They were very disappointed thinking that a move to a more rural environment would mean a greater community spirit. Not the case as it would seem.
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Old Oct 16th 2013, 12:54 am
  #23  
 
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

Come on lets be honest, how many of you in the UK stuck with your old friends from school etc?
Not many people made friends with immigrants unless they worked together or something. So why expect Aussies to be different just because you are the immigrant now?

I made a good group of friends in both Sydney and Melbourne. Yes expats seem to become friends quicker but that's because you are in the same boat and both looking for friends.

Good luck finding friends lets hope someone on your wavelength comes around soon
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Old Oct 16th 2013, 1:55 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Material Progress - Social Downfall

I've made friends with a small group of expats who arrived at the same time as me. We are all in the same boat and looking for friends. Also, two expat families who were really good to us when we arrived.

I've also made friends with a group of similar aged women at work - all Aussies.

I've only been here for 3 months and know that it takes time and shared experiences to form good lasting friendships. You can't hurry these things but you can encourage them by accepting all invitations and offering invitations of your own.
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