Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
May 8th 2022, 12:37 am
#1
USA 2017
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2015
Location: Saint Petersburg, FL
Posts: 193
Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
FLORIDA CAUTION:
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
May 8th 2022, 12:36 pm
#4
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,543
Re: Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
As ivanidea suggests, one of the most interesting things about Florida is the wildlife. Just one example, everyone is familiar with skunks - but in southern Florida, the eastern spotted skunk is the most common species. Smaller than regular skunks, they are very cute and seemingly fearless; they’ll come and nose around your beach barbecue. They generally won’t spray you unless you make a sudden movement. Butterflies there are gorgeous, too.
May 8th 2022, 3:24 pm
#6
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,139
May 8th 2022, 5:04 pm
#8
dah diddly dah
Joined: Jan 2015
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 155
Re: Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
FLORIDA CAUTION:
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
May 8th 2022, 6:51 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2022
Posts: 1,271
Re: Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
FLORIDA CAUTION:
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our Beaches, Swamps, Keys or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, chiggers, and mosquitos. Hotels will also be infested with Spring Breakers and Families with Kids that do not care if they scream and crowd your space in the pool. Our lakes are full of giant gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing t-backs and bras.
Our swamps are full of drunks in overalls peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. We have Vampire Manatees since the Algae is messed up due to the overflow of contaminated waste water flowing into our water ways. The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot. Pelicans are dive bombing tourist hoping to steal their french fries and grouper sandwiches. And Snakes... don’t even get me started. On the water copper headed moccasins are here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras. And don't play with Pythons. They can eat a 200lb adult. The poison ivy and Poison Oak has overtaken all other vegetation. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season. We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Racoons are stealing small children's food should they dare to turn their head. Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. However the Smell of Skunks can be easily confused with the smell of Beach goers smoking Weed like it is legal. Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Southern Dragon Flies that I swear have a massive bite but my wife laughs at me when I tell her they were after me.
Scorpions have now migrated here from Arizona and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas from Central Florida are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh, and no one is vaccinated.
I hear Idaho and Louisiana are really nice though.
Texas...."hold my beer"!?!!
May 11th 2022, 4:17 pm
#13
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,448
Re: Warning to anybody thinking of moving to Florida
FLORIDA CAUTION:
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, .....
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the Coastal and all of middle Florida! Homes are selling for 3 times their value, rent has tripled, .....
