That's better than being happy and joking with them though. Do NOT make jokes with Americans in uniform, it never goes well.

Yeah, that way he would be hated by EVERYONE in a uniform.

No. My dad did, one the trip before last. Apparently (my sister related this story through gritted teeth) he asked the bloke who had his passport if he was "just checking to make sure he was not a murderer"

Apparently you could hear a pin drop after that. There aren't enough faces and palms for that one

Fixed that for you

Good point.

And then there's this:

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude,
the captain announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.
Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.
The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight.
So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"
Silence followed.
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to
you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should
see the front of my pants!"
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled.......
"For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!"

Just got an email from CBP that says my Global Entry now qualifies me for TSA Pre. Have yet to test this though!