Tips when moving to the south
Mar 26th 2010 | 6:49 am
#1
Thread Starter
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 10,678
From: San Francisco Bay Area
Tips when moving to the south
The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained....
The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.
The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives; the South has 45's.
The North has double last names; the South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.
North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.
The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH...
In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... Do not buy food at this store.
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .
Be advised that 'He needed killin...' is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store... It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners... After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.
The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives; the South has 45's.
The North has double last names; the South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.
North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.
The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH...
In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... Do not buy food at this store.
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .
Be advised that 'He needed killin...' is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store... It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners... After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
Mar 26th 2010 | 6:58 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,109
From: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Re: Tips when moving to the south
oh my! what am I in for
Mar 26th 2010 | 7:43 am
#4
Instigator of the Post
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 501
From: Nashville, TN
Re: Tips when moving to the south
Aaaah this drives me particularly batty - esp. as I am a Midwestern transplant. Not only do you have to go to the store, apparently you also must call off schools for the next 3 days because of the impending threat...!
Mar 26th 2010 | 7:54 am
#5
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11
From: Seminole, Florida
Re: Tips when moving to the south
...and then there's mixed up confused places like St. Petersburg. This weekend is the St. Petersburg Indy Car Grand Prix. The locals can't understand why theys-a-havin left AND right turns on y'alls's race track!
Mar 26th 2010 | 8:04 am
#7
Last orders please...
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 6,154
From: Way down deep in the middle of the Jungle..
Re: Tips when moving to the south
The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained....
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store... It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners... After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store... It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners... After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
Mar 26th 2010 | 8:08 am
#8
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 79,866
From: Homeostasis
Re: Tips when moving to the south
Mar 26th 2010 | 9:52 am
#10
I Still Remember
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 212
From: Lubbock, Texas
Re: Tips when moving to the south
I'll be in Lubbock, Texas by mid May, so I expect I'll experience all that in the first couple of weeks!!
Mar 26th 2010 | 10:38 am
#11
Maño-Americano
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 10,216
From: In the heart of the Ozarks
Re: Tips when moving to the south
Funny because it is ALL TRUE!
Mar 26th 2010 | 11:31 am
#12
Sursum corda
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 38,860
From: Richmond Hill, GA USA
Mar 26th 2010 | 11:40 am
#13
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,497
From: Cincinnati, Ohio
Mar 26th 2010 | 12:18 pm
#14
Maño-Americano
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 10,216
From: In the heart of the Ozarks
Mar 26th 2010 | 12:36 pm
#15
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,109
From: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
