ukintexas

Am about to rant so be prepared! Am home for a trip to the UK, predominantly to look after some arrangements for my dad who has just been diagnosed with dementia

On the run up to the trip, I diligently contacted all friends/family and sent them the usual itinerary showing them when we could all get together - it's like a bloody military operation.

Well a few things went astray - things with dad took a little longer some days - so we had to change a couple of things, and heaven forbid we even turned up a couple of hours late to friends or family because we'd been stuck in traffic getting to them.

So, having traveled 5000 miles, gone up and down the M25 and surrounding roads more times than I'd care to mention, people are still getting shitty with us and not making any effort at all to come and see us where we're staying.

I just don't get it! Our very best friends, on hearing from us today that we couldn't make it to them tomorrow morning, but would need to arrive later (again as I'm having to do some stuff with my dad) we got an email back saying "don't bother about tomorrow" and that seeing as we can't make it all day, they're going to go to Ascot with their parents instead and hope we have "a lovely last few days" - ??????

Is it me, or does this happen to others too?

Poppy girl

Yep it happens and its called Bollox we have moved on with our lives and so have you!
You might want to think of them as ex-best friends lol

MrEmjoy

Who do you think you are, how dare you moan about your loving friends after they obviously had other plans anyway, it's not like you've traveled half way around the world to deal with a sick relative.

Jeeezus.

Mummy in the foothills

Good god you have enough to do without running about to see people. Why can't they come and see you? It seems to be a common problem with expats who go back for a short visit.
Don't sweat it, anyone who moans, burst into tears go on about your Dad and they'll be falling over themselves to help and come see you in no time
Guilt is a wonderful thing (sometimes)

ChocolateBabz

This is exactly why I don't want to go home this year !!

Scouse Express

Happened to me on my last visit. Someone I've made time to see on every trip back, got pissed off that I gave him a day's notice that I was in town.....with some US friends that I had to entertain.

I've sent him a few texts since I returned to the USA. All have been ignored.

Bollox is the appropiate term.

Jim.

traceym

Rant away, DH has been here 14 years and if he never went back again it wouldnt worry him.

The night before I left to come here for good my brother called to ask when I was going to sort out the meal and drink, having had 3 e mails, a Christmas card with all the details, 2 missed calls and 2 txt's from me trying to arrange it!

Tossers!

SagenOnion

Bollocks is right.

I used to go back at least 3 times a year and I would let everyone know that I was going to be at the Pig and Whistle at 8.00pm on Wednesday and I would be happy to see them. If they didn't show, I didn't care. Soon sorted out the friends from the wankers.

joto

You are going to be "busy" when they want a holiday in the US, aren't you?

Jerseygirl

I used to go back and not tell anyone...then see how I felt when I got there. Can't do that anymore because I have a house next to my sister.

bostonbound

The same thing happened to us. We just got back from a 2 week trip back to England and I busted a gut trying to fit everyone in and I still had people moaning that 'I only saw them once'! I drove more in those 2 weeks than I ever have in my life and it really got to me by the end, I was exhausted. I think when we go back at Christmas I will tell people we are at my mum's and if they want to visit they are more than welcome.

md95065

I think that it happens quite a few people, but I am particularly sad that it is happening to you.

Having a close relative with dementia is immensely stressful and the last thing you need right now is having to deal with selfish and insensitive "friends".

Take care of yourself, don't worry about other people and try to find the time to do something for yourself that you really want to do.

AdobePinon

Did exactly the same thing last time I was back. Well, not the Pig and Whistle. Out of the dozen who said they'd come (all live within 15 miles), only four showed up. Few people have as many friends as they think they do. Fact of life, forget them and move on.

Manc

It's very simple.

let everyone know

"I'll be in this pub, at this night from 7pm onwards..........."

lisa67

I hear ya!! We're in the UK at the moment. I haven't told "everyone" that we're here (but if they're on face book I'm sure they've figured it out!!) Chose carefully who we wanted to see and didn't tell the others. Also did what Manc suggested a few years ago, stayed in a cottage in the middle of the country and told everyone they were more thane welcome to visit us!
Sorry to hear about your Dad, but remember, you can't please everyone all of the time..hope the rest of your trip goes ok