Don't you just hate it when things are going really well, then after a while you just can't help it, you get a big dose of homesickness and nothing seems good after that?
I have reasons I should be home, don't want to go into them on here, but I shouldn't have left the UK, and now I have, there's no way of us getting back yet
It kills me sometimes, I wish I had just thought before acting.

ADDITION: I could go home, but if I did, then it would take me so long to find somewhere to live and it would be on my own for a while until hub could join me, with all our finances taken into consideration, it would probably be either a long time or to say goodbye for good. It's like if I go back, then that's good for the situation I left behind in the UK but probably at the cost of my marriage, and if I stay, then it's good for my marriage but at the cost of a very important situation I left behind in the UK. It tears me apart.

oh Emma.....hugs and karma sent....

Thanks for that. It wont pass, because of the situation I left behind, but I hope that we can find some way of sorting through the complete and utter mess of it all one day.

i don't really know what to say...im still waiting to get to Canada so i've no idea how bad homesickness gets.....but im sure it's going to be bad at times...i just hope we can cheer you up a bit on BE

Ah, everyone does on here, that's why I'm on here so much, and I hope that whenever other posters get homesick I can cheer them up on occasion too

Thats nice to hear...and i'll know who to come to if and when it happens to me....x

Ditto!

Wish I could offer some helpful advice for your situation. Hopefully in time, things will improve one way or another.

P

I find it comes and goes in waves. When I first got to this country I had it really bad, hanging out in the house on my own all day, no car, no social number just sittting looking at the walls, it was frustrating. I found missing my old friends the worst. I have nothing to go back to as my life is here now but it is easy to look back with rose coloured glasses on. I truely hope your situation improves and that these feelings will pass and you will start to feel more at home here. hugs and karma sent.

I've been here 6 years and sometimes I get up in the morning and drive to work and I feel like I'm driving through an alien landscape, even after all this time. Like others, my home is here now, there's really nothing to go back to the UK for. However, it still doesn't stop me getting homesick now and again, I think it's just the way we're wired. It's home, it's where we were born, it's where our roots are, you can't just pack your suitcase, leave and forget where you came from, it's always there inside.
I hope you can find some peace of mind and that this wave of homesickness passes..

Hi Emma,

I had a similar situation after my grandmother died. Although my grandfather lived "only" 320 miles away from me, it was still a six-hour drive or a flight to get there. When my grandmother died, my eldest was six months old; when my grandfather died seven and a half years later, my youngest was a year old. My grandfather wouldn't accept any outside help to clean the house or cook or wash, and the house that my grandmother loved fell into ruin, as did my grandfather. He had loads of family around to help, but I knew he'd only let his kids or me help, really, and we all lived a good distance away. And I so wanted to help. I considered moving there, but with two young children, one of whom began school, and me working up until two years before he died, I couldn't figure out how to do it. He was the adult I loved best in the world, and I still feel very badly about this.

Had I not had children, though, I would have moved in a flash. (My marriage was never happy and ended in divorce later.)

I think homesickness makes everything more complicated for you, and I don't know what your situation is in the UK, but sometimes life comes down to making choices between people. It's heart-wrenching. There may not be a "right" or "wrong" choice; it's just a choice.

Life is far too short to feel this way. I felt the same to-ing and fro-ing with my feelings. Then my mind was made up for me when my 18 yr old (back in UK) tried to take her own life. I left my husband in Canada to sort everything out (house etc) took my 11yr old and returned to UK. No where to live, moved in with family until i found somewhere to rent. Yes it cost us a fortune, lost out big time financially. Now we are all together again and never been happier. Follow your heart, good luck. My husband reluctantly followed but now says he is happier than ever. Wishing you the best of luck.

Emma.......Ann's right you know. Follow your heart, not your head. It will end up the best move you can make.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))) that sounds like a terrible situation to have been in.
With my situation, there was a right and a wrong choice, but I left the right decision too late, got shut out, couldn't cope with that and ran. Not ran here, but it all led me here. Now I've grown stronger, I guess it's a case of having been able to grow here, I have the strength to deal with the situation back home, but no funds to do so and Ive probably left it all too late.
Basically, I made a whole load of really really bad decisions, had no support from my family over any attempt to make the right decisions, was backed into a corner over all of it, panicked because I felt I couldn't do it all on my own without any support and just ran.
I'm going to feel pathetic and stupid for the rest of my life over it. (yes it is that big.)
I think I made the right decision by coming here, for myself and for my husband, but not for the situation in the UK.

Yeah, that's good advice, but my heart pulls me in two directions.

{{{hugs}}} I dont think people realize how debilitating homesickness can be - it's not like you have a broken leg that they can see. Those that have never felt it just pooh pooh it as being silly but it is a form of grief and can really tear at your insides.

When you are on the horns of a dilemma, the only way is to jump one way and hope that you jump the right way and only you can weigh up which is likely to be the best way for you to go. In my case, my marriage is the most important thing to me - my DH is my soul mate but I can see that if our marriage were shakier, then moving home would have been a much more likely proposition. So you do need to check out your values and how you want to live your life and make sure that you do things to move in that direction. Not easy is it?