Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

It's not so much the "property" issue but the on-going maintenance/financial support which I think is a bit of a shocker sometimes.

One friend last year was advised to do whatever she needed to do to ensure that her husband didn't file before their 20th wedding anniversary as she would get considerably more after that.

I read last week that women file for bankruptcy more than men. The reason? The blokes don't pay the money they have been told to in the divorce settlement. In France, if you don't pay the maintenance, then you go to jail.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

The dog seems to be more an issue, more so than say children.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Another dog was the issue at hand in the last divorce.

If I had a lawyer might even have been able to get spousal support. She was the bread winner with considerably higher income.


Didnt help I was in hospital and unable to leave hospital.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

I am far from rich. However if I had children or the threat of violence I would have had a lawyer. Legal aid is available you know. Nobody needs to "lose".

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Legal aid in BC provides veey little assistance in divorce and civil cases and your not guaranteed a lawyer.

All I got was a quick meeting to ensure the legal docs were correct but no legal advice.

Those who cannot afford a lawyer do not have the luxury of a fair and level playing field in any sort of court case.

Legal aid is hardly a replacement for a competent lawyer.

You can have kids or threat of violence but if your poor well your facing an uphill battle.

Now I had no kids or violence but I also wasnt aware of my rights and could not affors a lawyer and legal aid only helped fill out forms. She had a lawyer, you really think I had any chance?

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

I was thinking the same.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Take my sister as an example and her ex. His family pays top dollar for a lawyer so he can weasel out of child support any which way.

My sister goes in alone to self represent with minimal legal help from a legal aid service in the US.

Lets just say she has rarely seen a penny in support over the last 16 years and the courts still grant visitation.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Take my partner as an example. His ex had a fancy lawyer asking for the house, the land, support for HER 2 kids (not his, hers from a previous relationship), alimony, etc. He could not afford to pay for a lawyer so went to court and represented himself.

He got 50% of all assets, no child support and no alimony. (She works full time).

See, JS? For every example of someone getting the shaft there is an alternateexample of someone being treated fairly by the courts. So why hasn't your sister gone back to court?

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

She is in court all the time. Several times a year over the last 16. He hasnt seen the kid in years and she filed to have his parental rights terminated but he had fancy lawyer contest it.



He sti hasnt seen the kid now teen in who knows how long but he did allow them to move out of state. He didnt fight that.


I just have no faith in the court systems in Canada and the US if you cant afford competant legal representation which lower to lower middle class cannot generally do.

If we broke up there would be nothing to fight over. Well just the dog. Last wife took the dog and left Canada, where she took the dog nobody knows.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

You're not in the US, are you?

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Dorothy, what experiencedo you have of divorcing in the USA?
I thought you lived in Oz? Or am I mistaken?

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

Just curious how/if it happens in other states, but in MA, one way they enforce child support comes in when you renew your drivers license.

Any delinquent child support payments or driving related tickets that aren't paid, you aren't able to renew your license.

If you don't get it sorted within a couple of weeks of the license expiring, the car registration is automatically voided and a voided registration automatically voids the car insurance.

Getting pinged by the cops suddenly gets very expensive. This of course doesn't really help much if one is illegal and doesn't have a valid license to begin with.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

I have been divorced twice; in both Australia and Canada and my partner divorced in Australia. However I do have a lot of family and many friends in the US and some are - believe it or not! - divorced.

My point to JS is that not everyone who divorces without a lawyer is shafted. There are people who can represent themselves and come away with a fair and equitable settlement.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

You will also lose your Hunting privileges and of course Passport.

Re: Post-Nuptial agreements
 

fair enough.
As another of the posters here pointed out, in the US you can reach an agreement with your spouse alone; you can go to mediation and arrive at an agreement; you can use lawyers to help you mediate; you can use lawyer or you can end up in court for the judge to decide based on what you present to them and how they are feeling that day!

By all accounts you should avoid the courts.

If you have "retained" a lawyer then the other party needs a lawyer to represent them. Certain procedures - like "disclosure" (of assets) will be done via lawyers.

Unless you have an amicable divorce or you end up in court, it is highly advisable to use your own lawyer. Certainly in Texas, if you ended up with the minimum state-mandated amount you'd be in a very difficult position indeed.

I don't know anyone who managed to get legal financial aid for their divorce.

From what I've heard from a couple of friends (divorced in the last year) you need to have an immediate retainer of $5000 for the lawyer to take you on. An ex-pat friend was asked for $10,000 - it ended up being $80k for her costs alone.

The costs involved are staggering. I remember being astonished in France that the average divorce cost €18k.

Another friend here (I'm THAT age....) is paying her lawyer on an as-needed basis, the husband doesn't have a lawyer yet. She will use a financial advisor who is a specialist in divorce finances to arrive at a couple of "fair" financial settlements which will be presented to her husband. Once they've agreed which way to go, the lawyer will draw up the documents and that will be their settlement and decree. She estimates total costs to be about $15k. No fighting, minimal lawyers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for their family.