ian-mstm

The long-time members of this forum (and probably some short-time members also) know that “overt sentimentality” is not one of my virtues. Indeed, I usually live up to my SP moniker. Well... not today.

On November 25, 2009 - just a day before the US Thanksgiving holiday, I wrote the following: "We just found out yesterday that our daughter and son-in-law have been approved for adoption and they hope to have a son or daughter in the near future. It's been so heartbreaking for them these past 6 or 7 years as they've tried everything under the sun to have a child of their own... but it just isn't going to happen. They are such wonderful people - we know this will bring much joy and happiness into their lives."

On Saturday, March 6, 2010, Amy and Alan adopted a full-term newborn girl - 6 lbs 9 oz, 19" long, and a full head of hair. She was born Saturday morning and was in their arms later that evening. This is our second grandchild. Needless to say (although I'm going to say it anyway), Sheila is elated and is going to fly to Texas this weekend to stay for a week and help Amy with the new baby - Sarah Christine.

So... that's the good news.

The bad news, is that I'm going to take a break from posting here… and I can already hear the cheers from the peanut gallery. Over the past few months I've noticed a new generation of posters in the forums... posters who prefer to live on the edge of immigration rules and who prefer to advocate the “who’s going to know” or "do as I do" philosophy - or, even better, "you first, then me". I believe this is dangerous and I just don't care for the endless debate that comes with trying to amend their thought process.

In 1997, when I started the K-1 process, there was almost no information available online - indeed "online" was still a new concept for many. There were no INS updates, no opportunity to email anyone, no opportunity to download forms (yes, you had to call INS and have them mail the forms to you), no such thing as InfoPass... and the list goes on. A few tried to help by setting up web sites (hi Alvena and Doc Steen... wherever you are) only to be told later that such web sites border on UPL (look it up for yourself if you don't understand (see “spoonfeeding” below)) and to proceed at their own risk. Indeed, Alvena was threatened by the Kentucky Bar Association with legal action if she didn’t “cease and desist.”

To help combat this, the UseNet newsgroup alt.visa.us was severed and a new newsgroup was formed: alt.visa.us.marriage-based. That new newsgroup was eventually ported to BE and is now this forum. So… for the ass who sent a PM calling me a liar because I’ve been a member of BE since 2002 but claimed to have been following the newsgroup for 13 years – now you know. Your own ignorance, or stupidity, or laziness is to blame – the information is out there, all you had to do was a bit of research on your own. And on that topic...

I've had enough of spoonfeeding people who are either too stupid or too lazy (or both) to use the search functions, or to read the links that people post for them, or any number of others things that says to the world "I am a mature individual, and I will take responsibility for my own research."

I have had enough of people who shoot the messenger because 5 years ago they were stupid and committed a crime (although they'll admit that getting caught was really the only stupid bit) and now don't seem to understand that... yes, this will affect your immigration journey. I would prefer that such people stand up and proclaim, “I am a mature individual, and I will take responsibility for my own actions”… but that rarely happens. Those people would rather minimize the incident and then live on the edge and see what they can “get away with”. They fully believe that US immigration law doesn’t apply to them because they are British (or any other nationality for that matter)!

I’ve had enough of people who don't want to hear the truth... but prefer instead to hear only those comments that support their position - and the rest be damned. Those same people then complain that posters here are rude and mean because they’ve said things that don’t support their perfect fantasy! Those people are simply immature children regardless of their actual age.

I’ve had enough of people who prefer to take, as absolute fact, information posted on a web site to the complete disregard of those who have actually been through the process and who actually know the pitfalls, danger spots, and other red flags that might give them a bit of trouble. You people – you know who you are – you don’t want information; you want guarantees… and there are none. You’d prefer to argue rather than hear the truth.

I’ve had enough. I'm going to continue reading these forums with interest, and I may post occasionally... but, for now, I've had enough. In all honesty, I care deeply for the long-time posters who I consider family – you know who you are. For the rest of you, I just don’t care enough about your life or your situation to continue to give a damn! There’s an old saying, “no good deed goes unpunished” and that has become so true of late.

Ian

Ray

So we will see you tomorrow then ...

Elvira

Congratulations, take care and good luck

Rete

Congratulations on the good news Grandpa.

On the bad news, I fully understand where you are coming from. You and I are the only originals left from those days back in 1997/1998. We were only two months behind you on the K-1 trail.

We have lost many good and solid members over the years and many good and solid resources for newbies simply because. . . . . (they can look up the reasons if they are interested).

Don't be a stranger, please. Voices of reason are few and needed today more than at anytime in the past.

Hugs,
Rete

traceym

Wonderful news about the baby, congratulations Grampy.

When I found this site, I was so grateful for the help given to me, and the one liners that answered my questions that you always gave (all be it sometimes sharp and cryptic!)

You always make me smile and I will really miss you.

xxx

Noorah101

Awww, congratulations on the new grandchild.

I, for one, will miss you around here. Even though it's frustrating at times, it's good to have the long-time posters who have seen all the changes USCIS has been through, and can explain the history when a newbie posts "why"? Don't be a stranger.

Hugs,
Rene

Bluegrass Lass

Awwww..congrats Papaw!

Though I'm sure I was taken aback at your dry humor when I first joined up, I quickly saw it for what it was. I'll miss your wit Ian.

If/when you get down to our neck of words, let me know and maybe we can meet up.

jeepgirluk

Congratulations on your new grand-daughter! Best wishes to you and your family.

Leslie

You can come to the Lounge. We have a clique there with your name written all over it.

Poppy girl

Well I for sure will miss you Ian you have always been more then helpful to me over the years and I can see where you are coming from in your train of thought.

I joined BE (yes different user name) back in 2001 and hope your realize young man that you may have hurt some folk with the SP attitude but always true to yourself and us........as the saying goes "truth hurts"

Congrats Grandpa Thank you for being you and I am sure we all look forward to the "Sanctimonious Pricks" return later this year

lansbury

Many congratulations on your new granddaughter Ian.

I for one will miss the help and sense of reality and balance you enliven these forums with. The ones that don't want to listen are not the ones who will lose out by your absence, it is the people I suspect more than we realize who just read and learn and don't perhaps even post who will. Hopefully after you take a rest and recharge the batteries you will post again. If not many thanks for what I have learned from you.

Sue

Congratulations on your new Grandchild Ian. And thank you for your participation on BE all these years. Please don't be a stranger.

Sue

Paulbpaul

Congratulations to you and the rest of your family, Ian. Great news.

Sad to see you take a step back but can understand your reasons.
No, you never decorated your responses. You said what needed to be said, direct and to the point. Nothing wrong with that. More often than not, its required.

Thanks for the advice/ responses over the last year or so on my journey.

Best wishes

Paul

jeffreyhy

Ian,

Congratulations on the Good News.

Maybe it will soften your SP attitude, I hope not though. (Didn't do me any good in that regard.)

Best wishes,
JEff

Just Jenney

Same here. First Mr. F, now you.

I'm really sad to see you go, Ian. While I can understand your frustration, at the same time this forum and its members -- current and future -- are losing out big time by your absence. You may be a SP at times, but you also have a lot of heart, and you'll be sorely missed.

On the up side, I'm thrilled to hear about the new one who's entered your lives.

PLEASE don't take permanent leave from this place! It won't be the same without you, really!

~ Jenney