OT: Am I the only one...?
Mar 4th 2001, 9:17 pm
#46
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A final thought. I understand that there are some people who believe with all their hearts
that people asking "simple" questions is rude. There are many here who don't share this
view. But, those who DO are certainly entitled to their opinion and feelings.
However, if perceived rudeness is responded to by more rudeness, the cycle just escalates.
Think about off-line life for a minute: if everytime someone cut you off in traffic, let a
door go in your face, etc, you responded in kind, society would start to crumble, because
we'd all be lowering ourselves to that level.
So, even if you DO think that it's rude to post an easy question (and I'm not saying I do)
responding with more rudeness can't be the solution. So post a link, or tell someone to do
a websearch with the key words "fiance visa" or something, or even ignore the post. Just
please, let's not be mean to people.
Now, I'm off to batton down the hatches for the storm that's already begun....
Beth
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that people asking "simple" questions is rude. There are many here who don't share this
view. But, those who DO are certainly entitled to their opinion and feelings.
However, if perceived rudeness is responded to by more rudeness, the cycle just escalates.
Think about off-line life for a minute: if everytime someone cut you off in traffic, let a
door go in your face, etc, you responded in kind, society would start to crumble, because
we'd all be lowering ourselves to that level.
So, even if you DO think that it's rude to post an easy question (and I'm not saying I do)
responding with more rudeness can't be the solution. So post a link, or tell someone to do
a websearch with the key words "fiance visa" or something, or even ignore the post. Just
please, let's not be mean to people.
Now, I'm off to batton down the hatches for the storm that's already begun....
Beth
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Mar 4th 2001, 9:58 pm
#47
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cmagill wrote:
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how recent? even reading the last week or so, or last few days, is better than reading
nothing at all. doing a google search isn't a bad idea, either.
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how recent? even reading the last week or so, or last few days, is better than reading
nothing at all. doing a google search isn't a bad idea, either.
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Mar 4th 2001, 10:05 pm
#48
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Evan and Sheila wrote:
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please don't predict my half of a conversation before i've had a chance to have it. i've
not been trying to excuse rudeness from ng members (although i've suggested it might be
motivated by frustration). i think i said that answering rudenses with rudeness is
ineffective and a bad idea.
however, if people would take the time to try to find things out on their own, they would
not only get the answers they need, they'd be empowered and be able to find out
information on all kinds of things. this is an extremely useful skill, and one that most
people can learn.
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true, but people also need to learn to graciously accept "it's in the faq" as a legitimate
answer and not an insult. sometimes it is presented politely as an answer and the original
poster spits the dummy anyway. i still maintain that when you ask people to answer
questions, you're asking a favor of them.
and btw, i asked some questions about how to assure that chris would get an ead (before we
went dcf) and got the shit flamed out of me. i was informed that i shouldn't be getting
married if i couldn't support him/afford a trip to oz to do dcf. it pissed me off, but i
was finding the advice of the group useful on other things so i stuck around and
discounted the flames. people who were persistently annoying went into my killfile for a
time. see, i think that *i'm* responsible for my experience on this group, because the
only person whose behavior i can control is me.
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please don't predict my half of a conversation before i've had a chance to have it. i've
not been trying to excuse rudeness from ng members (although i've suggested it might be
motivated by frustration). i think i said that answering rudenses with rudeness is
ineffective and a bad idea.
however, if people would take the time to try to find things out on their own, they would
not only get the answers they need, they'd be empowered and be able to find out
information on all kinds of things. this is an extremely useful skill, and one that most
people can learn.
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true, but people also need to learn to graciously accept "it's in the faq" as a legitimate
answer and not an insult. sometimes it is presented politely as an answer and the original
poster spits the dummy anyway. i still maintain that when you ask people to answer
questions, you're asking a favor of them.
and btw, i asked some questions about how to assure that chris would get an ead (before we
went dcf) and got the shit flamed out of me. i was informed that i shouldn't be getting
married if i couldn't support him/afford a trip to oz to do dcf. it pissed me off, but i
was finding the advice of the group useful on other things so i stuck around and
discounted the flames. people who were persistently annoying went into my killfile for a
time. see, i think that *i'm* responsible for my experience on this group, because the
only person whose behavior i can control is me.
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Mar 4th 2001, 10:07 pm
#49
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exyz wrote:
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i can relate to what you're saying, and i don'tthink i've seen many people being rude to
someone who's said "i read the faq, but i'm confused about this issue. i think it means
<whatever>; am i right or have i made a mistake?"
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i can relate to what you're saying, and i don'tthink i've seen many people being rude to
someone who's said "i read the faq, but i'm confused about this issue. i think it means
<whatever>; am i right or have i made a mistake?"
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Mar 4th 2001, 10:29 pm
#51
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Posts: n/a
In my humble opinion, anybody who hangs around a newsgroup for more than a year or two is
either a good soul, whose mission it is to help people, and those souls are friendly and
understanding, or they have no [interesting] live.
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either a good soul, whose mission it is to help people, and those souls are friendly and
understanding, or they have no [interesting] live.
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Mar 4th 2001, 11:04 pm
#52
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I love the killfile....it is warm and dry and there are such interesting people in there.
Put me in yours please....
Grinch
I love the killfile....it is warm and dry and there are such interesting people in there.
Put me in yours please....
Grinch
Mar 4th 2001, 11:04 pm
#53
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I wasn't trying to predict 'your' response at all. The idea of saying that 'regulars' or
'experienced' posters have earned that right has been said many times before. It's been
made obvious more often than not when I hear someone post saying "I am an expert." Which
makes me laugh. You've done it once in your life and have heard others talk about it. How
does that make you an expert? (No this is not directed at you) Then to get this attitude
of "You wouldn't be calling us (the regulars) a liar would you? You wouldn't want to do
that." Is another one that just reinforces the attitude. However, that's not the issue.
As I've mentioned. I'm not saying that directing someone to the FAQ is a bad thing.
Alveena quite often responds to people directing them to a website to find the answers
they need and she does it in a polite manner. I'm speaking of the degrading attitude
that is shown to people coming here for help.
I agree whole heartedly that answering rudeness with rudeness is ineffective. Depending
on what exactly you're refering to. If you're suggesting that someone coming along
asking an faq is rude then I disagree. If you're refering to the idea of a response to
a question being rude, then the original poster being rude in return, then yes I agree
with you. However that can't be blamed on the newbie. It's human nature to be upset
when treated unjustly.
Again, the newsgroup wouldn't be needed if everyone found out all the answers
elsewhere. I agree that you need to research. However everyone isn't as good as others
who were able to find all the answers themselves and didn't need to come to the
newsgroup at all to seek answers. Oh, wait a minute.. anyhoo.
Anyways, I probably won't post on this thread again. This is quite OT and wasting
space for questions. In closing I'm just simply saying that being rude to those
seeking help just isn't right. We all came here for help. Just because some people
didn't happen to have the ability to find the answers on their own, no matter how
simple... or if the found conflicting answers. It just doesn't matter. We're all here
for some purpose. Whether to help, to be helped.. or.. I don't know, why else would a
person be here? To harass and hurt people I guess.
Cheers, Evan
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point.
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information
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either.
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'experienced' posters have earned that right has been said many times before. It's been
made obvious more often than not when I hear someone post saying "I am an expert." Which
makes me laugh. You've done it once in your life and have heard others talk about it. How
does that make you an expert? (No this is not directed at you) Then to get this attitude
of "You wouldn't be calling us (the regulars) a liar would you? You wouldn't want to do
that." Is another one that just reinforces the attitude. However, that's not the issue.
As I've mentioned. I'm not saying that directing someone to the FAQ is a bad thing.
Alveena quite often responds to people directing them to a website to find the answers
they need and she does it in a polite manner. I'm speaking of the degrading attitude
that is shown to people coming here for help.
I agree whole heartedly that answering rudeness with rudeness is ineffective. Depending
on what exactly you're refering to. If you're suggesting that someone coming along
asking an faq is rude then I disagree. If you're refering to the idea of a response to
a question being rude, then the original poster being rude in return, then yes I agree
with you. However that can't be blamed on the newbie. It's human nature to be upset
when treated unjustly.
Again, the newsgroup wouldn't be needed if everyone found out all the answers
elsewhere. I agree that you need to research. However everyone isn't as good as others
who were able to find all the answers themselves and didn't need to come to the
newsgroup at all to seek answers. Oh, wait a minute.. anyhoo.
Anyways, I probably won't post on this thread again. This is quite OT and wasting
space for questions. In closing I'm just simply saying that being rude to those
seeking help just isn't right. We all came here for help. Just because some people
didn't happen to have the ability to find the answers on their own, no matter how
simple... or if the found conflicting answers. It just doesn't matter. We're all here
for some purpose. Whether to help, to be helped.. or.. I don't know, why else would a
person be here? To harass and hurt people I guess.
Cheers, Evan
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information
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Mar 4th 2001, 11:05 pm
#54
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Evan,
You have such a small penis, you should be a cop!
Grinch
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Evan,
You have such a small penis, you should be a cop!
Grinch
Mar 4th 2001, 11:20 pm
#55
Guest
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I had problems downloading for a few days this last week. I now have only 5 days of
messages that I couuld download. For a new person to the newsgroup that is really very
little information. When I started reading this newsgroup, I had the luxury of reading for
several weeks before I needed to ask a question. Some of the new people are in a panic and
start asking right away. I also did not know anything about newsgroups when I started. I
would not have know to search on google. I did not know it existed at that time.
Jill
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-----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----
messages that I couuld download. For a new person to the newsgroup that is really very
little information. When I started reading this newsgroup, I had the luxury of reading for
several weeks before I needed to ask a question. Some of the new people are in a panic and
start asking right away. I also did not know anything about newsgroups when I started. I
would not have know to search on google. I did not know it existed at that time.
Jill
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-----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----
Mar 4th 2001, 11:33 pm
#56
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Grinch,
I've told you before. Your childish playground tactics won't draw me into a fight.
Take care, Evan
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I've told you before. Your childish playground tactics won't draw me into a fight.
Take care, Evan
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Mar 4th 2001, 11:41 pm
#57
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I made you post in this thread after you said you wouldn't though didn't I!
Grinch
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I made you post in this thread after you said you wouldn't though didn't I!
Grinch
Mar 4th 2001, 11:42 pm
#58
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"Christa L." wrote:
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well, I suppose that depends on what you call interesting!
alvena
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well, I suppose that depends on what you call interesting!
alvena
Mar 5th 2001, 12:36 am
#59
Guest
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...and you make very good points. I think the "railing" was against a few specific posts,
which you might not even have seen, where people were NOT told (even told firmly) to look
things up first, but were berated. It was mentioned, for example, that someone's subject
line was changed to "doofus". Someone else posted in obviously high spirits about a
wedding and was told off. It's that sort of thing.
I've found you give lots of thorough answers and good direction. And certainly directing
someone to look up something elsewhere is not what this thread is referring to as "rude".
So perhaps there's some misunderstanding on both sides. I never thought you were evil.
Heck, I never thought ANYONE was evil. Well, except maybe CutiePieWhatsHisName.
Such is life.
All the best, Beth
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which you might not even have seen, where people were NOT told (even told firmly) to look
things up first, but were berated. It was mentioned, for example, that someone's subject
line was changed to "doofus". Someone else posted in obviously high spirits about a
wedding and was told off. It's that sort of thing.
I've found you give lots of thorough answers and good direction. And certainly directing
someone to look up something elsewhere is not what this thread is referring to as "rude".
So perhaps there's some misunderstanding on both sides. I never thought you were evil.
Heck, I never thought ANYONE was evil. Well, except maybe CutiePieWhatsHisName.
Such is life.
All the best, Beth
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Mar 5th 2001, 12:41 am
#60
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Grinch, for that you need to sit in the "time out" chair for half an hour!!
Sheesh!
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in message
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Sheesh!
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in message
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