Emma M

All we keep doing is arguing. I have to ask myself if I'm just here because I'm stuck, or here because I want to be. We don't have any money, his job is on the line (has been for months), we keep picking at each other, I'm homesick to the point where I want home so bad I can taste it, and I don't know what to do. Just venting, as per. Sorry.

quoll

Oh, Emma! Have some {{{hugs}}}

You are probably feeling it worse because you are stuck and can see no light at the end of the tunnel. All those financial stresses and uncertainty can do it to the best of us so you may need to stand back and nut out a plan with a time frame. If you can put an end date on being where you are then it does make it easier to deal with in the short term. I do hear that the job market in US is particularly fickle and so many people are facing the uncertainty that your family is - that must be a huge stress.

Vent away!!!!

sambapink

So sorry to hear that Emma... not alot I can say except I really hope things improve and your on your way home as soon as possible.. and yeah vent away.. sometimes it does help... rather like a good old scream!!

Sending ((HUGS))

Emma M

((((hugs))))))))))
Any end date to this will either be if I'm denied my green card (is it awful to hope in a way that I am?) otherwise it will be years down the line yet. There's no goal in sight for ages yet, unless I snap in the meantime and get one of my family to loan me the money to get home, then spend ages regretting that probably. I can't win.

Emma M

If I scream I will totally lose it, so I'm just doing it the traditional woman way of seething in silence... and venting where I can... the lounge has already seen one fit of anger today and not from me, so I don't want to damage our furniture any further

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

God I feel for you ... I remember being 100 odd miles north of you across the border going out of my mind and body.

Any idea on how long you might be looking at for a greencard? And no, hoping it's denied is not awful because all that does is legalise and legitamise the trap.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you the very best in trying to work out this mess and get through it.

geeandtee

((((Emma)))), I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time of it. I wish I could give you some sound, make-you-feel-good advice, but I'm pretty crap at that. At least you can come on here to vent and there's people here who have been or are in similar situations. It's bad enough that yo u have financial issues without being stuck somewhere that you don't want to be. I don't even know much about NC so I can't recommend that you get in your car and go for a drive, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to go and see.
I really do hope that things work out for you and that you can work through this rough patch.

Twigstar

Emma, I wish you all the very best in this limbo time. I have spent the last 6 months in the fog and couldn't see a way out but it does start to lift, you see a light and then inspiration takes over and before you know it you will be out the other side.... Good Luck

manghams

Vent away, that will keep you sane til things sort out. Sorry no advise, but keep your chin up.

Emma M

Well, apologies in advance to anyone who gets fed up with me venting, if anyone wants to vent to me sometime I'm a good listener as well as a good venter, lol!

Emma M

You know, 3 years ago I went through a really horrible messy divorce and couldn't see a way out, then I did and went and lived with my mum, then came over here and ended up getting married then financial worries and stress hit us and we couldn't find a way out, then when we decided that if I returned home, got a job and got sorted out over there and he came over to live in the UK once I was sorted but my mum wont have me stay there (see other vent thread) and so can't see a way out again! I'm fed up with going from the fog to the fog to the fog, and then thinking I see some light but alas... no, it's more fog, lol! Oh somethings got to give sooner or later!

chicagojlo

Hi Emma,
My husband and I have also been through it with the issues of where to live and being trapped in one place while not agreeing on another.
We got through it, even if those were some tough years, and now that we are finally where we want to be our marriage is better than ever.
Things will work out, and you have to remember when you are fighting that it is the situation not each other which is to blame. You have to learn to accept your situation as it is, know that you are doing all you can to change it, and get on with living while you wait for whatever needs to happen to happen. In your case it is simply your EAD being granted, which would allow you to work, therefore earning money, making friends, having some kind of a life. It's got to be in the near future for you now, you just need to hang in there and wait a little longer.
That's what we did and in the end we got what we wanted. It just took time. Destroying our relationship in the meantime would have meant all that hard work was for nothing.

Poppy girl

Em's did you look for a job today? come on it might perk you up and let you have a bit of breathing space

Twigstar

What sort of job would you look for if you were in the UK? and what area would you be looking to relocate to?

Pugsy

Moving around the world etc. is one of the hardest things someone can do, only those who've done it can understand that. If you mention to a friend who's never moved more than a 20 mile radius in their lives and they'll say, it'll be fantastic, what an experience, blah, blah, blah. It'll be like you're on a permanent holiday, etc. etc.

The reality is that it most often isn't; it's financially draining, stressful and very very hard on a marriage. It can be too easy to blame each other, especially when you have no one else to talk to. You need a regular heart to heart to reconnect and say to each other, it's not perfect, but we're a team, we're on the same side and we'll make it right, one step at a time.