Dozy Yank

Hey all!

Sorry, I did do a search for "dealing with distance," but didn't find exactly what I was looking for.

Simply put, for those of you who are in relationships and are separated by thousands of miles and a several-hour time difference, what things do you do, think or say that help you cope?

Sure, I have nice texts to look at, sweet emails to re-read and awesome physical things (collage, clothing, aftershave, etc) that remind me of a great time, but these items also cause pangs of sadness and cause me to me miss him even more.

So, what helps you guys? I don't know if I'm looking for an answer for myself, or if I am just trying to take a consensus, but I would like to know what sorts of things bring you separated loves comfort.

Thanks!

Tracym

Webcams. Talk all you want, for free, and see each other as well.

We used Windows Live Messenger or AOL messenger or Yahoo messenger. You just need broadband at both ends - and webcam/mikes.

Gingerert

Talk to each other every single day on the phone. Make it your first priority.

If you keep in touch with the little things, the big things take care of themselves. It keeps you grounded and reminds you why you love them. It's also nice to hear that they miss you too.

My husband and I spent six years in different countries and never missed a day.

Dozy Yank

We do that via WLM, too, and I'm going to look into Skype, too for just talking (sometimes the webcams don't connect the best depending on where he is).

Considering what I have and how we talk and all, I think I may just be acting unreasonable. Maybe there's really not more than what we're/I'm doing...

Catgirl

Also try keeping busy. Take on a new hoby, read, anything to kill the time.

Tracym

I think it just sucks.

All you can do, I think, is keep in contact as best you can. Talk about the little things, try to share your lives. And perhaps talk about the future things you will do, and make plans - if looking at reminders of past events is hard for you.

Dozy Yank

We speak or communicate in some way daily. Live phone conversations aren't fiscally the best for us at the moment, but we try. Texting, occasional vmails, etc.

The best thing to hear is that I'm loved and missed, but then I sit around and stew and just get sad.

SIX YEARS? Wow, I'm clapping for you guys right now, really.

cindyabs

Me here, him in the UK first 3 1/2 YEARS of marriage-he would call and wake me every morning,

lapin_windstar

If I woke my SO up every morning, we'd be lucky to survive the week!
+1. Sorry. Did it for a couple of years and it was way too much. Got the ultimatum and made the leap - which turned out to be a great decision. <3

Dozy Yank

Thank you. I really feel lame now, as I'm not sure what I was trying to get out of posting this.

Plus, I go to the local UK import store and get foods and tea. It's like all of this stuff is comforting and upsetting at the same time. Maybe I'm just being emo, but that makes sense to me.

Tracym

If you get Vonage, you can call him on a land line all you like for free.

4 years apart for us - with some visits.

Dozy Yank

OOOOOHHHHHH.....

Dozy Yank

Wow, four years... and thank you, I will look into Vonage.

You guys are all so helpful and supportive, I think that most of us are dealing with things that few of our immediate friends and usual supporters can relate to.

Tracym

Wow - that took a long time!

Don't feel bad - it is really difficult. Comforting and upsetting together makes sense to me too

Tracym

Just to clarify - when I said for free - Vonage is a broadband phone service, about $25 per month - designed to replace your regular phone line.

But all you pay is the $25 - calls to the UK landlines (not mobiles) are then a free call.