Making friends...
#16
BE Forum Addict






Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,718
From: Charlotte,NC











And the humor thing... for some odd reason, acerbic sarcasm and withering criticism of honored American institutions (the politics, healthcare, transportation, etc) seems to turn people off! But that seems to be half the fun of being here, having fun at the expense of the natives! 

#17
BE Enthusiast




Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 472
From: CA











It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
#18
BE Enthusiast




Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 333
From: San Diego, Ca











I feel like me and my group of San Diego friends are bucking the trend here. We all met at roughly the same time and none of us have been in SD for more than 15 months so we have had lots of shared experiences. We meet up virtually every other weekend (if not more) for BBQ's, dinners, drinks. Our group is mostly Brits but there are some Americans, A guy from Finland and one from Japan.
I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.
That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.
I feel very lucky.
I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.
That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.
I feel very lucky.
#19
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
From: Outer LA area


Give me shout, we can go out just because
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
From: Outer LA area


It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.

I like your post, so true on the subjects!
Give me a shout if you're near LA, would be nice to meet someone with 'normal' sense of humor!
#21
I wouldn't say I have made any real friends here (in the US). Acquaintances , sure, but not friends. S'ok.. I prefer my dogs to most people anyway.
#22
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 0

I agree with it being easier to make friends with people if you're going through the same things at the same time.
Unfortunately, I'd say I haven't made any real friends since I've been here and I was beating myself up for a while. Work colleagues are ok but we are miles apart personality wise to socialize. I've tried meetup groups, the gym, bars etc, etc.
The only friends I'd say I've made are some blokes in an English pub but they're quite a bit older. I didn't want to be 'that' person who doesn't try to fit in but 'cest la vie' I suppose.
Having said that I love living here and I know that however much I miss my friends back home, a couple of weeks back there and I'd miss this place.
Unfortunately, I'd say I haven't made any real friends since I've been here and I was beating myself up for a while. Work colleagues are ok but we are miles apart personality wise to socialize. I've tried meetup groups, the gym, bars etc, etc.
The only friends I'd say I've made are some blokes in an English pub but they're quite a bit older. I didn't want to be 'that' person who doesn't try to fit in but 'cest la vie' I suppose.
Having said that I love living here and I know that however much I miss my friends back home, a couple of weeks back there and I'd miss this place.
#23
BE Forum Addict






Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,204
From: Maine











My observation is that guys here don't do friendship. Back home theres a real 'mateyness' about guys friendships that doesn't exist here. My (American) husband doesn't have friends or even seems to need any social interaction. My expat friends who are married to British or Irish guys seem to be widowed fairly frequently on weekends as the guys all go off to a concert or camping, golf etc.
#24
Lost in BE Cyberspace










Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 9,909
From: Oz -> UK -> San Diego











I feel like me and my group of San Diego friends are bucking the trend here. We all met at roughly the same time and none of us have been in SD for more than 15 months so we have had lots of shared experiences. We meet up virtually every other weekend (if not more) for BBQ's, dinners, drinks. Our group is mostly Brits but there are some Americans, A guy from Finland and one from Japan.
I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.
That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.
I feel very lucky.
I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.
That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.
I feel very lucky.


We've had a similar experience
#25










Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,272











It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.
My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.
With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
I totally get what you're saying - I have met some really nice girls here but I really miss my pals from home and everthing we shared together.
#27
Forum Regular




Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 265
From: From a beautiful part of Scotland, now in Colorado











We have 2 sets of good friends in the UK. Both because of the kids when they were smaller. Just 1 good friend and his wife here. We met them through DH's work in MA. They get the Brit sense of humour and drinking habits. No friends here in CO, just people we know as aquaintances. I find it difficult to make friends as I'm really shy and not very outgoing, but it doesn't bother me too much, as I am ok with my own and hubby's company.
I do have some good friends here - all British. We've all moved over around the same time so we have something big in common. I'd like to have some American friends too but don't know where to start. I can go days without seeing a neighbour, and the gym isn't particularly social. Have signed up for some volunteering though so hoping to meet a few folk that way. When I eventually start working again at least I'll get to meet some more people, even if they don't become actual friends.




