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Old Jul 16th 2012 | 8:06 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by davidtheprof
And the humor thing... for some odd reason, acerbic sarcasm and withering criticism of honored American institutions (the politics, healthcare, transportation, etc) seems to turn people off! But that seems to be half the fun of being here, having fun at the expense of the natives!
You sound just like my husband - his sarcasm either gets him the stink-eye, an ear bashing on rudeness or they just completely ignore him and hope he goes away. He hasn't had a good night unless he has upset someone
 
Old Jul 16th 2012 | 9:25 am
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Default Re: Making friends...

It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.

We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.

My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.

With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
 
Old Jul 16th 2012 | 9:54 am
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Default Re: Making friends...

I feel like me and my group of San Diego friends are bucking the trend here. We all met at roughly the same time and none of us have been in SD for more than 15 months so we have had lots of shared experiences. We meet up virtually every other weekend (if not more) for BBQ's, dinners, drinks. Our group is mostly Brits but there are some Americans, A guy from Finland and one from Japan.

I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.

That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.

I feel very lucky.
 
Old Jul 16th 2012 | 2:47 pm
  #19  
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by Sally Redux
Age is part of it, and then people seem to socialize differently here. I find that the women in my area never just want to go out for the sake of it, it has to be for fundraising or something. Have finally come to terms with it mentally and don't even try now.
I don't know about the age thing, but definitely agree on the going out for the hell of it. I'm near-ish LA (monrovia to be exact).
Give me shout, we can go out just because
 
Old Jul 16th 2012 | 2:50 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by toopie28
It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.

We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.

My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.

With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.

I like your post, so true on the subjects!
Give me a shout if you're near LA, would be nice to meet someone with 'normal' sense of humor!
 
Old Jul 17th 2012 | 4:38 am
  #21  
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by Orangepants
his sarcasm either gets him the stink-eye, an ear bashing on rudeness or they just completely ignore him and hope he goes away. He hasn't had a good night unless he has upset someone
This is me, pretty much. No one knows how to take what I say, which is probably a good thing a lot of the time, but does get in the way sometimes as well.

I wouldn't say I have made any real friends here (in the US). Acquaintances , sure, but not friends. S'ok.. I prefer my dogs to most people anyway.
 
Old Jul 17th 2012 | 6:14 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Making friends...

I agree with it being easier to make friends with people if you're going through the same things at the same time.

Unfortunately, I'd say I haven't made any real friends since I've been here and I was beating myself up for a while. Work colleagues are ok but we are miles apart personality wise to socialize. I've tried meetup groups, the gym, bars etc, etc.

The only friends I'd say I've made are some blokes in an English pub but they're quite a bit older. I didn't want to be 'that' person who doesn't try to fit in but 'cest la vie' I suppose.

Having said that I love living here and I know that however much I miss my friends back home, a couple of weeks back there and I'd miss this place.
 
Old Jul 17th 2012 | 7:54 am
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Default Re: Making friends...

My observation is that guys here don't do friendship. Back home theres a real 'mateyness' about guys friendships that doesn't exist here. My (American) husband doesn't have friends or even seems to need any social interaction. My expat friends who are married to British or Irish guys seem to be widowed fairly frequently on weekends as the guys all go off to a concert or camping, golf etc.
 
Old Jul 17th 2012 | 9:02 pm
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by Gillymonkey
I feel like me and my group of San Diego friends are bucking the trend here. We all met at roughly the same time and none of us have been in SD for more than 15 months so we have had lots of shared experiences. We meet up virtually every other weekend (if not more) for BBQ's, dinners, drinks. Our group is mostly Brits but there are some Americans, A guy from Finland and one from Japan.

I feel like we have all got close very quickly, we stay at each others apartments ( so everyone can have a drink), and we have had a few 'emergency' situations where we have had to help each other out - car crashes, hospital apts.

That being said we are all roughly the same age (late twenties early thirties), we are all couples and every one of us was looking to make friends.

I feel very lucky.
It's San Diego

We've had a similar experience
 
Old Jul 18th 2012 | 2:21 pm
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by toopie28
It's very hard for me to make friends too - I miss my pals.

We go out to dinner with "his" friends every couple of months and I only do it so the OH will stop moaning at me being an unsociable tart. I tolerate it but it's sooooo bloody boring.

My real pals (before they buggered off back to the motherland) and I would go out for dinner, everyone would have a laugh, take the piss, not worry about calories and fat - it was great.

With the OH's pals... well, the last time I learned more about Botox and fillers than I ever want to know about in my lifetime... and another surgery that sounds just inhumane... apparently since I've never had kids it's nothing I need to worry about...ugh.
If I move there - I'll need someone like you I totally get what you're saying - I have met some really nice girls here but I really miss my pals from home and everthing we shared together.
 
Old Jul 22nd 2012 | 4:28 pm
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc
It's San Diego

We've had a similar experience
I know! It's brilliant
 
Old Jul 24th 2012 | 2:21 pm
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Default Re: Making friends...

Originally Posted by joto
We have 2 sets of good friends in the UK. Both because of the kids when they were smaller. Just 1 good friend and his wife here. We met them through DH's work in MA. They get the Brit sense of humour and drinking habits. No friends here in CO, just people we know as aquaintances. I find it difficult to make friends as I'm really shy and not very outgoing, but it doesn't bother me too much, as I am ok with my own and hubby's company.
So true. I sometimes wonder if this is a Colorado thing, but this thread suggests not.

I do have some good friends here - all British. We've all moved over around the same time so we have something big in common. I'd like to have some American friends too but don't know where to start. I can go days without seeing a neighbour, and the gym isn't particularly social. Have signed up for some volunteering though so hoping to meet a few folk that way. When I eventually start working again at least I'll get to meet some more people, even if they don't become actual friends.
 

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