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-   -   Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/trailer-park-96/life-knows-how-kick-you-teeth-929727/)

Guindalf Dec 9th 2019 2:05 pm

Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
This time last week, everything was rosy. When my DW came home from work, we booked a last minute cruise and are due to sail to the Caribbean next Monday. Then on Tuesday, she had a mammogram, and that's where it went t*ts up! They found a lump.

So Thursday morning was spent at the doctor's office and then talking to a pre-op nurse at the hospital. Friday morning at 6:15am, we were at the hospital for her to have surgery to remove the lump, as it was more practical than just taking a piece for the lab and having to go in twice to remove it later.

Surgery went smoothly (her first ever!), but the doctor was concerned that from what he's seen in the past, he's pretty sure it's cancer. We'll know for sure late today or tomorrow, but it could mean a second surgery this week and potentially radiology and other treatment. We are obviously anxious to hear the news.

Many of you know I almost died earlier this year when I collapsed with sepsis and her father passed just a few weeks ago at the end of October.

The moral of the story is...Take life as it comes day by day. You never know what tomorrow will bring!

Nutmegger Dec 9th 2019 2:14 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Sending every good wish to you and your DW-- and a big hug to her, too. Going by the third sentence of your first paragraph, your sense of humor is intact!

Rete Dec 9th 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Sorry to read of your wife's health issue. Having just gone through this with my daughter, age 50, and having had a cancerous lump removed myself 27 years ago, I fully understand what both she and you are going through.

While removing the lump, did he take any lymph nodes for testing? Has she had a MRI yet? Any other testing? Radiation therapy is not usually done right off for breast cancer. Chemo is the way most oncologists will go and radiation is a last tried approach.

Hoping her news is better news than my daughter's was and that a mastecomy is not required or any additional surgery and that if it were cancer it is contained to the one lump.

Guindalf Dec 9th 2019 5:01 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Actually, I didn't realize what I said in that sentence - a Freudian slip! But you have to laugh or else you cry!!

Rete, I think it was chemo, but there has been so much discussed, I may have been confused. No other tests have been done so far, but there was a mention of underarm lymph nodes for the second surgery this week if it's needed, It's just a waiting game at the moment. We've been assured that whatever the result, it's not a death sentence, but that doesn't stop use both being scared as...!!!!!11!11!!

Rete Dec 9th 2019 5:11 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776187)
Actually, I didn't realize what I said in that sentence - a Freudian slip! But you have to laugh or else you cry!!

Rete, I think it was chemo, but there has been so much discussed, I may have been confused. No other tests have been done so far, but there was a mention of underarm lymph nodes for the second surgery this week if it's needed, It's just a waiting game at the moment. We've been assured that whatever the result, it's not a death sentence, but that doesn't stop use both being scared as...!!!!!11!11!!

My daughter was stage 4 BC. It is definitely a potential life threat. They did 16 weeks of chemo, then a month off, then surgery to remove the breast, and 3 months later a body scan showed no signs of cancer.

Will not tell you not to be scared. That is normal and the right way to feel in my opinion. Be sure that she likes her oncologist and her surgeon. If not, CHANGE. Daughter had to change surgeon's because the initial one was uncaring, uninformative and uninvolved. She loves the one she did eventually find and recommends him to everyone who needs a referral.

UkWinds5353 Dec 9th 2019 5:47 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776078)
This time last week, everything was rosy. When my DW came home from work, we booked a last minute cruise and are due to sail to the Caribbean next Monday. Then on Tuesday, she had a mammogram, and that's where it went t*ts up! They found a lump.

So Thursday morning was spent at the doctor's office and then talking to a pre-op nurse at the hospital. Friday morning at 6:15am, we were at the hospital for her to have surgery to remove the lump, as it was more practical than just taking a piece for the lab and having to go in twice to remove it later.

Surgery went smoothly (her first ever!), but the doctor was concerned that from what he's seen in the past, he's pretty sure it's cancer. We'll know for sure late today or tomorrow, but it could mean a second surgery this week and potentially radiology and other treatment. We are obviously anxious to hear the news.

Many of you know I almost died earlier this year when I collapsed with sepsis and her father passed just a few weeks ago at the end of October.

The moral of the story is...Take life as it comes day by day. You never know what tomorrow will bring!

My heart goes out to your wife and you. My prayers are also with you both. Stay strong!

lansbury Dec 9th 2019 7:11 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Wishing you both all the best. Know what it is like to await a cancer biopsy result, a very worrying time.

BEVS Dec 9th 2019 7:51 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776078)


The moral of the story is...Take life as it comes day by day. You never know what tomorrow will bring!

Very true Guindalf and one I try to follow although that can be hard.

I am sorry to read all this from you. I shall hope for good news from you about your wife.

Rotten thing to have to go through and rotten timing too.


scilly Dec 9th 2019 8:16 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
So sorry to hear this.

I wish you and your wife and you all the best.

I just wanted to let you know that I am a 2 time breast cancer survivor

The first was in 1995, and I think it was far more serious that I realised at the time, as at one point I was told that I had a 60% chance of survival after removal of the lump and chemotherapy. At that time, they didn't say Stage 1, etc. The only indication was how fast they got you into surgery. However, I opted to go straight to a mastectomy, with no chemo, radiation or other treatment ........... except that I was lop-sided whenever I didn't wear the prosthesis.

17 years later, in 2011, my annual mammogram showed "an anomaly", in trying to find what that was the radiologist found some cancer cells. The tumour was very tiny, about 2 mm but it had already become aggressive, releasing cells into the breast tissue.

I opted for another mastectomy ....... my surgeon said "ah, an elegant solution!"!!

No chemo, no radiation, a possibility to take tamoxifen, but then decided not to as it would only reduce my chance of further cancer from 5% to 2½% while increasing my chance of blood clots and uterine or ovarian cancer from around 2½% to 5%.

Read as much as you can. Ask as many questions as you can of the professionals, and go on thinking positive.

This is not a death sentence. Breast cancer can be cured, and survivors live long.

If there is any suggested delay before the next stage, ask if you could possibly go on your cruise, and then enjoy it! We went away before I got the definitive answer to the second one, and did manage to put it out of minds for periods of time.

scrubbedexpat097 Dec 10th 2019 11:43 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Sending big hugs to you both. Hopefully when the treatment is finished you can enjoy a relaxing and well deserved cruise together. :fingerscrossed:for better news today.

moneypenny20 Dec 10th 2019 12:06 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
All the best to both of you. Whatever happens you will deal however hard it appears and you will both come out the other side stronger. x

Guindalf Dec 10th 2019 3:44 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Thanks for all your kind thoughts and insights.

We're still waiting for 'the call'. She is at work and I am home, eating everything that isn't nailed down!

It's hard to relax not knowing what the next few days will bring.

Jpk Dec 10th 2019 4:07 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
I am rather new to the forum nad to you but I've had similar problems in my family and I want to express my best wishes to you and wife.
Stay strong.

Jerseygirl Dec 10th 2019 4:14 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Guindalf...sorry I missed this thread yesterday.

I am so very sorry to read this. Hopefully if it is the big “C” it has been detected early...but I am hoping it is not.

Stay strong and please remember we are always here should you need a shoulder...

Guindalf Dec 10th 2019 5:28 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Having trouble breathing now. It's almost 1:30 and we still haven't heard!

Jpk, doesn't matter who you are or how new, your thoughts are just as valid, thanks. As the Scots say 'A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet', but I think that's only because they like to borrow money from friends! ;)

JG, thanks.

fulwood Dec 10th 2019 5:55 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Wishing you both all the.best.

Mallory Dec 10th 2019 6:39 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
So sorry. I feel for you, and hope for good news.

Guindalf Dec 10th 2019 8:06 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Results are in and it's cancer.

The good news is he thinks he got it all, but the bad news is another surgery to clean up and check the lymph nodes.

We're going cruising next week and he's off until the 29th, so the op is scheduled for the 31st.

It's not going to be a pleasant few days and I doubt we'll be having a great cruise with this hanging over us, but it is what it is.

BEVS Dec 10th 2019 8:11 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776878)
Results are in and it's cancer.

The good news is he thinks he got it all, but the bad news is another surgery to clean up and check the lymph nodes.

We're going cruising next week and he's off until the 29th, so the op is scheduled for the 31st.

It's not going to be a pleasant few days and I doubt we'll be having a great cruise with this hanging over us, but it is what it is.

To use a vernacular - Bugger !

Try to have a relax on the cruise somehow and anyhow. A recharge ready for the op.

Bah!

g1ant Dec 10th 2019 8:16 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
That’s a bugger. I kinda know how you feel. Things were going good for us after 11 years here when some twat totaled my car and all but killed me.
three weeks in ICU and a total of five months in hospital. Two years later, medical bills are killing me and we are looking at moving back. I’m unlikely ever to walk again without pain.

hope things go well with the missus.

Jerseygirl Dec 10th 2019 8:38 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776878)
Results are in and it's cancer.

The good news is he thinks he got it all, but the bad news is another surgery to clean up and check the lymph nodes.

We're going cruising next week and he's off until the 29th, so the op is scheduled for the 31st.

It's not going to be a pleasant few days and I doubt we'll be having a great cruise with this hanging over us, but it is what it is.

Bugger. I know it’s easy for me to say...but but try to focus on the fact that the docs thinks he’s got it all and the next surgery is a ‘clean up’.


Originally Posted by g1ant (Post 12776884)
That’s a bugger. I kinda know how you feel. Things were going good for us after 11 years here when some twat totaled my car and all but killed me.
three weeks in ICU and a total of five months in hospital. Two years later, medical bills are killing me and we are looking at moving back. I’m unlikely ever to walk again without pain.

hope things go well with the missus.

Bugger again. It sounds like you’ve been to hell and back. I hope you find a solution to help with the pain,

Dorothy Dec 10th 2019 8:53 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
I'm sorry to hear that it's positive for cancer. That's a crap thing to hear. I'm hoping that your wife's surgeon got it all and her lymph nodes are clear.

Try to enjoy the cruise and deal with the medical stuff when you get back.

Nutmegger Dec 10th 2019 9:19 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by BEVS (Post 12776880)
To use a vernacular - Bugger !

Try to have a relax on the cruise somehow and anyhow. A recharge ready for the op.

Bah!

I second all that BEVS says. And hope the cruise has an open bar!

AdobePinon Dec 10th 2019 9:42 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
It may not be how you wanted to do a cruise, but it will be a useful distraction. I hope things quickly get better for you both.

scrubbedexpat094 Dec 10th 2019 11:10 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12776878)
Results are in and it's cancer.

The good news is he thinks he got it all, but the bad news is another surgery to clean up and check the lymph nodes.

We're going cruising next week and he's off until the 29th, so the op is scheduled for the 31st.

It's not going to be a pleasant few days and I doubt we'll be having a great cruise with this hanging over us, but it is what it is.

Another "bugger" from me.
Life really sucks at times. However, the surgeon is on to it, your wife is being treated and there's a plan in place. So try to enjoy your cruise as best you can.

moneypenny20 Dec 10th 2019 11:17 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Vitalstatistix (Post 12776958)
Another "bugger" from me.
Life really sucks at times. However, the surgeon is on to it, your wife is being treated and there's a plan in place. So try to enjoy your cruise as best you can.

This. Easier said than done obviously.

scrubbedexpat094 Dec 10th 2019 11:36 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 (Post 12776960)
This. Easier said than done obviously.

Yes indeed it is :(

Guindalf Dec 13th 2019 4:46 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Stitches removed this morning and small tapes over the incision. She says it's more sore now than it was while the stitches were in.

Radiation is the next step after the op, assuming the lymph nodes are clear. Three to four weeks of it, but chemo is the order of the day if anything more is found.

Guindalf Dec 31st 2019 4:32 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Well, here we are again, one 'okay' vacation and a very understated Christmas later.

She goes under the knife again tomorrow for clean-up on the original removal and lymph node checks - another two incisions.

Doc is very optimistic that this will clear it all out and she'll have radiation treatment and pills to make sure it's clear. I'm expecting her to be much more sore, especially with the underarm incision.

It's 12:30am and I have to be up with her at 5:15 to head to the hospital. Do you think I'm worried?

retzie Dec 31st 2019 4:47 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12783688)
Do you think I'm worried?

Ahh, of course you are. But you're both going to head in there tomorrow and let the pros do their job :nod:

Your only mission is to look after yourself so you can be there to support her. So do all the silly things you know you should. Drink water, make something healthy to bring with you as breakfast in the morning. Calm music. No tab-flipping internet binge. Breathe.

moneypenny20 Dec 31st 2019 11:20 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by retzie (Post 12783697)
Ahh, of course you are. But you're both going to head in there tomorrow and let the pros do their job :nod:

Your only mission is to look after yourself so you can be there to support her. So do all the silly things you know you should. Drink water, make something healthy to bring with you as breakfast in the morning. Calm music. No tab-flipping internet binge. Breathe.

This. May 2020 be kind to you both G. And everyone else obviously.

Jerseygirl Dec 31st 2019 11:31 am

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12783688)
Well, here we are again, one 'okay' vacation and a very understated Christmas later.

She goes under the knife again tomorrow for clean-up on the original removal and lymph node checks - another two incisions.

Doc is very optimistic that this will clear it all out and she'll have radiation treatment and pills to make sure it's clear. I'm expecting her to be much more sore, especially with the underarm incision.

It's 12:30am and I have to be up with her at 5:15 to head to the hospital. Do you think I'm worried?

Good luck with the surgery and treatment Mrs G.

Mr G, take care of yourself during this very, very stressful time.

Wishing you both all the best for 2020.

Nutmegger Dec 31st 2019 2:06 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl (Post 12783761)
Good luck with the surgery and treatment Mrs G.

Mr G, take care of yourself during this very, very stressful time.

Wishing you both all the best for 2020.

Couldn't say it any better, so I second JG's good wishes.

Rete Dec 31st 2019 2:36 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
I'll chime in third for JG's wishes. You're the West Coast so she might well be in surgery already. May her surgery be successful, the radiation side effects tolerable and the cure 100%.

Guindalf Dec 31st 2019 4:34 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
We're home, having filled her prescription and picking up some groceries (she waited in the car!).

The good news (?) is that her nodes are clear and all we have to do is take pills and three to four weeks of radiation once she heals from the surgery.

Thanks to everyone who responded and also to those who had good thoughts but didn't post. Every good wish is appreciated!

Jerseygirl Dec 31st 2019 6:21 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 

Originally Posted by Guindalf (Post 12783842)
We're home, having filled her prescription and picking up some groceries (she waited in the car!).

The good news (?) is that her nodes are clear and all we have to do is take pills and three to four weeks of radiation once she heals from the surgery.

Thanks to everyone who responded and also to those who had good thoughts but didn't post. Every good wish is appreciated!

:thumbsup: That is good news indeed. :thumbsup:

Nutmegger Dec 31st 2019 6:23 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Great news -- sounds as if there are grounds for a big celebration this evening.Put your feet up, pop a cork, and enjoy!

Guindalf Jan 1st 2020 2:10 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
No alcohol with the cancer pills, but she doesn't really drink anyway!

We tried to stay up for the new year and made it to 11:00 pm. I was probably feeling worse that she was by that time! I did manage to see midnight - just, but my insomnia had me up an hour or so later.

Happy New Year to all. Hoping 2020 is better than what's been before!

Steerpike Jan 1st 2020 3:42 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Just saw this thread, my (belated) best wishes to your wife (and yourself).

Did they mention any 'stages'? I don't know if that's still how they measure these things. My g/f was diagnosed with breast cancer back in 2004 (age 51); they operated immediately and then she had radiation - no chemo (thankfully!). Back then, she was working (hard) and I remember being impressed by how she took the radiation in her stride. Towards the end of the treatment period, she was getting very tired - it's like the radiation sucks the energy out of you. The radiation itself is a non-event - I think they just point a device at you for about 60 seconds or less and you don't feel a thing (but it takes a long time to get you 'positioned', as they need to target the radiation perfectly at the site).

She just got her annual mamo results this week, and the results were good. Every year, she celebrates being 'clear' and this year it was 15 years since the diagnosis!

Early detection, quick removal, and not having spread to the lymph nodes are key factors.

Here's to a speedy recovery!


Guindalf Jan 3rd 2020 4:52 pm

Re: Life Knows How To Kick You In The Teeth!
 
Stage 1.

More good news! Surgeon's office just called and said that the results came back on the margins around the cancer that were removed and all is negative. Her exact words were "Cancer is all gone."


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