lisag8070

well today was just another day, dropped DD off at school, kissed her goodbye and off I went on my merry way...

when I picked her up later...nothing seemed amiss...she happily skipped over to me and gave me her rucksack and told me she had homework....all the other kids were looking at me kind of strange..(nothing different there then) but you know when you get that feeling when something doesn't feel right...

So I asked my DD if anything had gone on at school..she's say nope...so I let it go and asked her "what did she learn today"...and she then tells me that the Teacher asked everyone where they were born/raised etc as they were learing about different cultures..

when it came to DD's turn and the Teacher asked her "so where are you from"..DD answered

"Made in Germany, born in England and raised in America"..



ohhhh.....the shame..now everyone knows what we got up to in Germany...

another bloody yank

My Mom makes candy as a kind of hobby. Mostly chocolate type stuff. She sent home a batch of her newest creation with me last week for my kids to try out. It was some kind of peanutbutter stuff, about an inch square and a quarter inch thick with chocolate dripped over the top of it. I dutifully took it home and gave it to the kids, and reminded them to call and thank her. Later, I overheard my son on the phone with my Mom. He thanked her and I overheard her ask if he liked it. He then said with sincere innocence, "No, but Dad said to call and thank you anyway."

Tracym

I don't have my own kids - but get vicarious amusement...

My friend (with a temper) got mad at her husband, and what happened to be in her hand was a package of frozen hot dogs. So, logically (to her) she pitched them through the glass front door at his back.

When husband decided it was safe to return - he boarded up the window.

His boss and wife were coming to dinner that night, so my friends son was instructed to NOT tell them what happened to the door. The son sat silently through the entire meal and dessert, although the parents could see the kid was about bursting. As everyone put down the forks, son says as fas as he can "mommy got mad at daddy and thew the hot dogs through the window" - and then heaves a huge sigh of release.

Another one - a different friend used to fondly call her son "lamb chop". For some reason unfathomable to me, as he got older he didn't like this quite so much. Being a sweet boy, he asked his mother - I don't mind if you call me that at home, but could you please not say it in public? Mom agreed, but kept slipping up.

Until one day in a crowded grocery store line, she said "Could you put that on the belt for me lamb chop?" He replied "No problem, Rump Roast".

Funnily enough, she never forgot again.

And finally is the little girl who, again in a crowded grocery store line (referring to father's upcoming vasectomy) announced loudly "Mommy's taking daddy to the vet to get fixed like Arlo the dog"!

Hmmm... making not having my own kids is a good thing...

lisag8070

That sounds just like my friend's kid...she always had to announce things in the supermarket...much to the shame of her Mom...

Now the child is older she still does this to wind her Mom up...her latest trick is when her Mom gets to the check-out and pulls out her cheque book...she whispers (loudly so everyone can hear)..."what name are we using this week Mom"..

her poor Mom gets the evil stare from the Cashier and then has to pull out all her ID to prove she is who she says she is..

Tracym

omg I'd kill the kid. Lololol.

Deb

My auntie went to her daughters parents evening, while waiting for her appointment with the teacher, my auntie was looking through her recent work, she was reading some a story my cousin had wrote, it went something like this..

On November 5th we went to the firework display, there was a huge big bonfire and lots of fireworks, we had baked potatoes & sausages, me and my brother had sparklers, we had a fun time, then my Mam farted and said, oh, theres another banger ... ...

My poor auntie then had to have a meeting with the teacher ..

lisag8070

now thats classic..

lisag8070

Hey at least he's honest..

naomi

In a restaurant a couple of years ago, my then 2.5 year old declared to the waiter as were about to place our order: "Daddy drinks beer, mommy drinks wine." Guess she picked that up from a very early age!
Naomi.

ChocolateBabz

I'm afraid this one was me .

At the end of the school year we all got to take our work home to show our parents. One of my books was my daily diary (think I must have been about 5 or 6 at the time). It was one of those books where you draw a picture at the top and write one or two sentences underneath. So my story read 'Mum and Dad had a fight last night'. And the picture looked a bit like something from wrestlemania - they two of them smacking each other in the face. My mum says she kept waiting for social services to turn up at the door.

Needless to say there were no fisticuffs involved - just my imagination!

Tracym

My husband, when he was little, used to walk around with a tea towel draped around his neck (who knows why).

One day his mum need the towel, so snatched it off his neck as he went by. Unfortunatly, he has quite delicate skin, and it left a mark (like a rug burn).

Chance would have it... the visiting nurse stopped by. She asked him "What happened to your neck?" He solemnly replied "Mummy did it".

Another time, he was playing with his dad, and running away he tripped and fell, splitting his lip.

Again (bad luck for parents) the police stopped by for an unrelated reason, to ask his dad for some info about someone else. Bleeding kid answers the door "What happened to you?" "Well I was running from daddy....."

Amazed they weren't all locked up.

cindyabs

clarissageo

We had to go up to school to have a word with my Youngest (out of the twins) son's teacher.... he was 8 at the time and my mum was staying with us for a little while.

His teacher asked him 'Who's this D*****' and the little 'angel' turned around and said 'this is my nana....... she's an old age prostitute'

Took a little bit of explaining, but was apparantly a source of much laughter in the staff room!

HighSpeedGrandma

This is a very personal reply and I hope I don't offend anyone, but we are all adults here and I am sure you have had your own experiences. It really happened and I will never ever forget it.
I was going to have my annual smear test at the docs. I had to take my youngest daughter who was about 3 at the time and I was not about to leave her in the waiting room.
She came into the examing room and watched the whole procedure without a word. I was amazed at how quiet she was.

She never said a word when we left nor at the bus stop on the way home.

We were sitting on the crowded bus when she suddenly said very loudly "Mum? Why did that man have his hands up your tinkie?"
It was obvious what she was referring to. Everyone on the bus turned around to look at me and you could tell what they were thinking.
I was so embarrassed I got off the bus at the next stop and we walked home.

lisag8070

why do our kids always wait till we are in public to say these things....