Sorry to kind of change the subject but ... what happened to reigns??

I was a god dam little monkey when I was a child, into everything, on top of everything and lord knows where. My parents had me on reigns much of the time in public and I dont blame them .. why dont you see kids in them these days?

Kai is on reins! We just didn't have them on him on Saturday, he was holding our hand well (so we thought) so we decided to leave them off.

Now, if he is out walking they are on.

Here in Canada they are hard to find, someone told me a story about a woman who had her little boy on them, they were out and someone called the police saying she was mistreating her son! They said it was ok as long as it wasn't around his neck The amount of comments and dirty looks I have had here is beyond a joke. Oh look, he is just like a dog, it's cruel to have him tied up like that. Nearly every time he is out we get something.

You dont really see them in the UK either .. it's utter bullshit. They are fantastic for tots. Keeps them out of harms way, you can pick them up from a fall, or stop then falling all together and they completely eradicate the annoying and emotionally draining stay here/dont run/off stand still encounters you constantly hear in shops these days.

I will sure as hell be finding a set when the time comes.

Gosh, faster than greased lightning aren't they? I always used to swear by reins when my kids were little - so what if they are an infringement on the child's human rights, at least they are alive to complain about it!!!!

I couldnt buy them when I came here either (long time ago now) so I made some with macrame! Designer reins, for sure!!!!

Florida for the moment

We put them on our daughter when we were in Toronto and we got funny looks, but so what. We also got stopped every other minute by someone who had apparently never seen a child with red hair!
You can't win, if they are in a stroller you're lazy and if you let them walk you're letting them run wild. At the end of the day you will be the ones living with how you raise them not strangers on the street.

I always have a well thought out reply ready when some pillock makes a comment about the reins. It goes like this:

"Thanks for the unsolicited opinion. Perhaps you want to borrow them to control your revolting child (ren)? Now f*** o** and mind your own business".

It works every time.

Babsi

Whereabouts in Canada are you ? have you done a forum search to see if there are any members near by you ???

Gaynor
x

PMSL

Oh brilliant! I love it!

In my experience though, there is a danger, when you feel like you're on your own to focus tooooo much on your child. Not saying you are though, but I was way too intense when I was in a new country with my first child, I needed another focus. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool and even if you do and shadow them constantly they will still have small accidents, it's part of growing up. They need to learn limits and dangers too and mum's and dad's should try to be less intense about the little things.

Not saying that they need to go headfirst down the wrong escalators or get run over by a car to realise that cars and escalators are dangerous.... obviously. But with my first I was far too obsessed... it took number 2 and number 3 to come along to dillute the intensity and to help me find the balance!

(When no 1 was older and we had the next one we had a cool platform on wheels that attached to the back of the stroller, so we ditched the reins and no 1. just caught a ride everywhere we went. Really fast and safe in a crowd.)

Hugs to you , it's not easy being in a place that you're not happy with and raising little 'uns; at least on this forum, you're able to realise that you're not the only one. There's lots of us in the same boat, muddling along!

Ignore them - they probably don't have an active 2 year old to contend with!
I have been known to attach the reins to a stake out chain (on a campsite) or the dog's extending lead! Not so good these days as little fingers have worked out how to undo the catch, but worked well for a while!
On the park front, I know it is not easy (I usualluy get Park detail as a form of respite care for OH who is in a similar position to you), but try not following so close, but stay between little one and the biggest risk (the road). That way they have to get past you to get to the road, it is usually easier to head them off than to chase them, and you stay close enough to intervene if the use of the play equipment gets a bit enthusiastic.
Most importantly - enjoy.

Little kids can very fast to escape from you especially in a busy place. When my kids were younger I used one of those wrist straps (came out around the time of James Bulger). it worked a treat as you still held their hand but if they shot off they only managed to get a couple of feet away. I suppose it was a modern equivalent of reins - here is an example.

Most families have the dad working all day so mum being at home on their own with the kids is pretty normal. Being a mum to a preschool child takes some getting used to and a lot of planning is needed to get yourself integrated back into adult life - you can feel very isolated in a childs world.

My husband worked offshore so I was alone for 2 weeks out of every 4 - no family help either even though I was in the UK. Working from home is no picnic either. I have also done that and the isolation is still there. I decided to get back into an office environment part-time when my kids were 2. It meant I was was extremely busy running around but for me it was good to get back mixing with adults.

All new mums have to adjust especially with pre-school children. It's just working out what you want to do. I never felt guilty about working part-time but that was probably due to getting good childcare in a nursery. If your son is not mixing with other kids it will be good for him to have some new friends too. I actually preferred a nursery setting to childminders and it was structured. You may find it easier childcare for 1 or 2 days full-time rather than several 1/2 days.

It's time to get a little 'you time' back, whether to work, study in a group environment or go shopping. All mums deserve that. Good luck

Hi! I totally understand what it is like to have a very active two year old with no sense of danger. My eldest daughter was like that. Wouldn't sit in a buggy from the age of 13 months and wanted to walk/run everywhere, she ran in front of a car one day!! It was a nightmare for a while but she is 5 now and definitely more sensible but just that kind of kid who's mind is running ahead of them. We moved to Australia when she was 3 and her baby sister was 14 months. I felt quite literally as if I would crack up after a few months here with the little darlings as my main source of company. My husband didn't work away but he was out of the house til 6.30 so basically they were in bed or heading that way by the time he got home and I was shattered and miserable. I had never used childcare in the UK as my mum lived close by and was eager to help if I ever felt I needed to get away but here it was very different. When the eldest started kindy after 8 months here I booked the younger one into daycare one day a week. I felt guilty and for the first few weeks I could easily have given it up as she cried a lot going in but my god I soon started looking forward to my Thursdays and always sprang out of bed on those days with an energy that came from the sense of freedom I knew I'd have that day. My advice is go for it, book a nursery palce and enjoy some time on your own and not running around like a headless chicken feeling increasingly anxious. You need some time to yourself to rechaarge and have the energy to look after your child properly otherwise you're just worn out and start losing your sense of self. Someone said to me that everyone assumes the child won't like daycare and actually most of them are fine and after the parent has gone and they've turned off the dramatics they have a good time. You may think completely differently but it worked for me. Hope things start to get better for you.

Now you listen to me,

Bollocks to what other people think, it's your child not theirs.

My boy is just as much as a handful as yours is, to the point we have locks on all the doors (now he's 5 they are coming down one by one) because he can get bloody anywhere like lightning. 2 years old in only a nappy he went toddling off down the road by himself, let the dog out and left me and my daughter wondering where the hell he was. The neighbours loved me for that and have have looked down on me ever since (bloody OH left the back door wide open while he went to talk to a neighbour about fishing), but it was still MY fault even though I was upstairs putting the washing away and told him to keep an eye on him.

If you feel safer and happier in your own mind if your Kai is on reins then so be it.

My boy was on them because I didnt trust him without them. Yes he did as he was told (sometimes) but the second my back was turned he was off. You need to keep your child safe and do so by whatever means necessary.

Those people that complain or moan or give you black looks can sod right off. Just because they raised their kids in one way (if they have any at all!!) does not mean you have to it their way too.

I get some horrible comments from the other mothers at school, because I wont let my kids have sweets or crisps the second they walk out the school door. Nor are they allowed a computer until they are at least 10 years old, until then they can play outside.

I do what I think is right for my kids, not by anyone elses standards. It's bloody hard looking after and rasing kids, a thankless and rewardless task and especially so when you (like me) have no-one to help you out when things get tough.

Bollocks to them all babes, you just concentrate on your family. Things will turn out just fine. As long as they are happy, what more do you need?

That time away from them while they are at care or at school, will at first be hard, and you will be lost without him, but you will soon curse the day for going so quick.

Hang in there.