Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Is he on Facebook? Chances are there's probably a group of expats in or around that you can have a get together with, or some other group with a interest similar and also meetup.com

Just getting out and about and having something else to do can be quite nice against the daily grind...good luck to him :)

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

If he has only been here a year and is already into the American thing of seeing a therapist for everyday problems, I'd say he is assimilating quite well. :)

It is all part of settling and and getting used to a new environment. He is at that time when it is the hardest as the novelty has worn off and reality is setting in. As you gain confidence in your new life it passes.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

As other members have said there is a lot of us Scots here in the BE forum

Where about in Scotland does he come from?

Me, I am from the East Coast Dundee then Aberdeen and been over here for almost 12 years now.

Has he hooked up with any other Scots living in the area?

Depending on what he is missing he could try the Scottish Club
http://www.twincitiesscottishclub.org/news1.htm
or the St Andrew's Society
http://www.mnstandrewssociety.org/links.php

Though judging by Arizona they tend not to be new immigrants rather 2nd or more generation Scottish Descent.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Donna, I see you are in Minneapolis. There is an active group of Brits here, who I'm sure would love to meet your H. If he's on Facebook, just look for Minneapolis Brits. Or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mplsbrits/.
There is also a Meetup group, where a few people cross over, but I believe it mostly consists of Anglophiles. Meetup is useful for other stuff too though, for example it's how I started playing Australian Football :lol:

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

I'm another Scot who has found herself in the US, originally from Edinburgh. Been here for almost 3 years now. Was in Indy and now in sunny SC. He can add me to the list of free therapists on BE if he wants to come on here and have a blether.

Has he been on MeetUp.com to see if there are any Expat groups in your local area? When I lived in Indy there were loads of Brits in the town I lived in and in the neighboring town. You were practically falling over them when you left your house there but here in SC there's not so many.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Thanks evryone,

I'll have him get on here and chat. Due to the nature of my job he can go back and forth every few months.

He's headed back for 10 days next week and that should tide him over for a couple of months.

Yep, Compass has seen a huge jump up in applicants since the pInnacle thing. I'm moving up the list pretty quickly and that's nice.

Thanks everyone,
Donna

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Is it possible that the ability to return to Scotland every few months isn't helping him settle in the US?

I can't offer any guidance as I've been here 8 months now, and don't miss the UK very much at all. As other people have said, check for other local expats - if he hasn't got a job yet, then maybe look into re-starting any hobbies or sports that involve meeting new people.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

I found trips back to the UK used to make my homesickness worse. After about 3 years I decided to cut ties and concentrate on my life here. It was almost 7 years before my next visit. It worked to a certain extent but even after 16 years I still miss the UK and still get bouts of severe homesickness. I feel 'lost' living here...I also feel trapped to a certain extent.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Does Wine help?


Jim.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

No...but St John's Wort does. :thumbsup:

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

This concerns me as I believe very strongly that the way to settle into one's new life is not to look back at what used to be, but to enjoy what one has now and look to the future. Is he getting out of the house to meet people? Either working or joining an organization that interests him -- volunteering at the library, the dog pound, a youth sports organization? I wish him the very best, but I feel that getting involved in the community in which he now spends his life is the way to get over those blues, rather than pondering the past and counting the days to a trip back home.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

I have to agree with Nutmegger. We waited 2 years before our first trip back as I'd read that you should really give yourself a minimum of 18 months before going home for a visit. What is it that's making him feel like this?? Is he missing family back home, is he bored because he's not getting out enough and meeting people, or does he feel uncomfortable where you live?? It can be a bit overwhelming, but honestly, I don't think going back every couple of months is going to help him enjoy his present surroundings and the life that he could make here. As Jerseygirl says, sometimes it just doesn't work out and people don't really "settle" here, but he has to give it some time. This forum is great for support and making you feel you're not alone. Also, FB and Skype have been a Godsend to me and I don't think i'd have settled as quickly, had I not had that contact with my friends and family back home.

I do hope that he comes on here and as I said before, feel free to PM me, I'm Glaswegian, born and bred :D

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Erm ... I think she wants him cheered up, not pushed closer to the edge ... :unsure:

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

I agree with this. I didn't go back for 2 1/2 years after moving here (although having two very young children was a reason for that). Looking back, I think that really helped me throw myself into things "American" rather than holding on to the past. I even declined most of the "I know blah and they're British" type of invitation and went out of my way to socialize mainly - but wholly - with Americans.

Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
 

Interesting advice. I just can't imagine him being ok with not going back as he has some sick relatives. He's 51 yrs old and most his close family are elderly, that may be a factor.

We have a 2 year old and that didn't stop him from declaring that he will leave us in the next year if we don't move back. He is a retired Met guy and has very very limited job skills. I work as a pilot and we live in Minneapolis which he hates due to the lack of mountains. When I have to work he takes the kiddo to playgroups ...one for every day of the week. We know our neighbors, he's involved in the loal scottish club and did the burns night speech, we go over to peoples house for dinner (whiich by the way never Skye)

The other thing is that he has a bit too much wine etc to ease the pain.

It's a rough time for him and I am at a place that is hoping he actually comes back from scotland this time...

We have started a tour company but he's not making enough progress to get excited about it yet...don't know? I just got the first website up last night <snip>

It's hard for me to understand. I lived in Skye for a couple of years and loved it. But I've always been a chameleon...