Wow, that's great news? Any idea where you're headed?

WHAT? You're going to drop BE just because you won't be a BE??
Good luck with the move!

That plan works well for us, one child in each country. When we retired our daughter (who has a good job, owns a house, and has a partner) pouted and complained: "so now I suppose you'll go off to England and ABANDON me here!"

I honestly think I'm over it now. I got that the last trip back but I think things (at least in my neck of the woods) have changed to the point now where I don't think I'd fit in anymore.

Birmingham area. We're not natives but lived there before we moved here.
Probably not Thanks.
I think son does feel abandoned too but hasn't directly accused us - just referred to it as 'a pain in the arse.'

Sorry for diverting the thread.

That's how I felt until I went back for a quick visit... Threw me for six how I reacted emotionally.

It's all academic anyway, since we have no plans to go back until at least next year.

In the last 12 months I went back three times. Once to see family. Once to say goodbye to my grandmother who had terminal cancer. Once for her funeral.

Usually though it would be once every couple of years. We try to take the children over every year or two to see family and remind them where they're partly from.

I do sort of like going. I can go round Tesco and shop without even thinking about it. But the traffic, teeny overpriced houses, sullen service, weather and cost of everything make me glad to leave.

I'm thinking of going this year but instead of visiting family I would like to go to visit old haunts in and around Bath, and have family come and visit me there.

BTDT, and yes, not easy at all. But once kids hit a certain age or stage they make up their own minds. With one in each country, you'll be no stranger to airlines, and it will work out.

I'm feeling particularly cut off from family right now and if I could get two weeks off work I think I'd go be a burden on them for a bit I can't though.

With one child living four hundred miles away (Cape Cod) and the other 3,500 miles away (Cambridge, England) I don't think we feel much difference in the proximity/remoteness of either. Possibly would have been different back in the 1970s or earlier, when transatlantic phone calls were an expensive and rare occurrence. With him coming to the US at least once a year, and us going over there, not much difference in annual number of visits or time together between the two children.

My mum visits me every year for 6 weeks, during which we spend about 4 hours a day together actually 'interacting' - 6 x 7 x 4 = 168 hours per year. My brother, who lives in the UK, visits my mum every 2 weeks for an afternoon - about 5 hours. 26 x 5 = 130 hours per year. Once I figured that out, I felt a lot less guilty about living over here

Yes, this becomes very true as time goes on with the older children who develop their own adult lives and their own support systems with friends or partners. But it can be a wrench for both sides when the parents first move country and leave a younger adult behind. The child who could (and did) come back to the family home easily enough no longer can do that without significant planning and expense.

It's not a tragedy, and can be a positive part of growing up for the child and an equally positive lesson in letting go for the parent... Nonetheless, it's a wrench at first.

My mam does similar math with her friends when they say it must be hard not seeing much of us. Unfortunately there comes a point where a) they can't travel so easily (we passed that point last year) and b) they need more short but frequent interaction/assistance than is possible for us to give from here. Not sure where go for here...we are toying with a few years back in the UK, which has certain attractions, but the main downside is the potential disruption to the kids education. I know a lot of folk do it, and they will do fine, but it's the main hurdle we keep coming back to...

Short but frequent interaction is also a lot easier on all parties.