How do you respond to "how are you?"
Apr 13th 2014, 8:25 am
#1
Joined on April fools day
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: 30 miles from a decent grocery store.
Posts: 10,642
How do you respond to "how are you?"
Do you say 'fine thanks, how are you?' Or ignore him/her presuming that it is insincere?
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
Apr 13th 2014, 9:15 am
#2
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: CT
Posts: 33,508
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
Do you say 'fine thanks, how are you?' Or ignore him/her presuming that it is insincere?
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
Launch into a long, detailed list of current ailments, concerns, future plans and views of the world in general. Continue until they try to run away. Then continue to continue as their will to live slowly drains.
Apr 13th 2014, 9:19 am
#3
Joined on April fools day
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: 30 miles from a decent grocery store.
Posts: 10,642
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I think you underestimate our ability to absorb your woe while STILL offering encouragement.
Apr 13th 2014, 10:18 am
#4
Often not so civil...
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: The Boonies, GA
Posts: 9,561
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
'Not too bad thanks, yourself?'
It's almost automatic now, which is alarming after only six months. Indeed, I find myself asking this question as I pass people now too - which I hate. I do think it insincere, but still respond.
It's almost automatic now, which is alarming after only six months. Indeed, I find myself asking this question as I pass people now too - which I hate. I do think it insincere, but still respond.
Apr 13th 2014, 11:17 am
#5
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,448
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
Apr 13th 2014, 11:42 am
#6
Under blue skies
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: East Anglia->New England
Posts: 3,624
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
This is not really that different from the common British greeting of "Yawright?" or "Alright?" The difference is that not every single cashier and staff-person over in Blighty asks "Yawright?" with the same (appearance of) strong personal interest with which Americans seem to feel they should ask, "How are you today?"....
Last edited by WEBlue; Apr 13th 2014 at 1:29 pm. Reason: clarity
Apr 13th 2014, 11:47 am
#7
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I say fine, or good, or okay, depending on my mood. I know the person asking if they are in a customer service role really doesn't care, and is only do it because they have to.
I say it daily at work, but reality is, I don't really care, its just a requirement of the job to ask how the customer is doing.
Its generally awkward when someone starts into some detailed diatribe about how they are, as its not the normal answer and catches me off guard.
I say it daily at work, but reality is, I don't really care, its just a requirement of the job to ask how the customer is doing.
Its generally awkward when someone starts into some detailed diatribe about how they are, as its not the normal answer and catches me off guard.
Apr 13th 2014, 12:39 pm
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I asked one of my US colleagues this about a week after 9/11 (THAT 9/!!) and had to listen to a five minute tirade about how everyone hated Yanks.
It is a formulaic question and invites a formulaic answer
It is a formulaic question and invites a formulaic answer
Apr 13th 2014, 1:09 pm
#9
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
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Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I usually just say I'm fine thanks, with maybe a "and how about you?" lobbed onto the end, depending on who is asking and whether I just want to get on with things. In the Bahamas, the greeting (and response) was, "What is is?" and "Right 'ere", which makes no sense at all. 
Here in Scotland, I see "Hiya" (a comon greeting) as being a shortening of "How are you", except it's recognised that you are not actually asking a question (so the reply is also "Hiya").
It does feel a bit weird now I have left the US, when I visit to be faced with a perky "HI!! How're y'all doin' today????", but to be honest I can not work myself up to be offended by someone who, when it comes down to it is either (a) just being polite and friendly, or (b) is doing what their boss has told them they have to do if they want to keep their $10/hour job. Getting pissed off at someone in this situation just seems churlish to me.
Here in Scotland, I see "Hiya" (a comon greeting) as being a shortening of "How are you", except it's recognised that you are not actually asking a question (so the reply is also "Hiya").
It does feel a bit weird now I have left the US, when I visit to be faced with a perky "HI!! How're y'all doin' today????", but to be honest I can not work myself up to be offended by someone who, when it comes down to it is either (a) just being polite and friendly, or (b) is doing what their boss has told them they have to do if they want to keep their $10/hour job. Getting pissed off at someone in this situation just seems churlish to me.
Apr 13th 2014, 1:13 pm
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I am of that age and location where a friendly greeting has a mandatory remark about the weather - usually referring to one of the 47 different kinds of rain we experience here.
Apr 13th 2014, 3:12 pm
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
Do you say 'fine thanks, how are you?' Or ignore him/her presuming that it is insincere?
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
I am somewhat amazed by the number of people who seem to be offended by that simple question.
While it is true the inquirer does not want your life story or any real depth, it is nearly always well meaning. Sort of like a societal lubricant.
Apr 13th 2014, 4:05 pm
#12
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
"Surviving."
Apr 13th 2014, 4:14 pm
#13
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,552
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
It isn't just an american thing.
"How do you do?" asks the exact same question, in slightly outdated English.
As does "Ca va?" or "Comment allez vous?"
Equally, the somewhat, to me, annoying "have a nice day" is mirrored in "good day to you" (also outdated} and the not outdated "bonjour" or "buenos dias".
In all cases, nobody wants a real answer.
"How do you do?" asks the exact same question, in slightly outdated English.
As does "Ca va?" or "Comment allez vous?"
Equally, the somewhat, to me, annoying "have a nice day" is mirrored in "good day to you" (also outdated} and the not outdated "bonjour" or "buenos dias".
In all cases, nobody wants a real answer.
Apr 13th 2014, 4:18 pm
#14
BE Commentator
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,427
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
"The Lakers did badly this season. And you?"
Personally, I agree that it is usually a null question and a null answer will suffice.
Personally, I agree that it is usually a null question and a null answer will suffice.
Apr 13th 2014, 4:20 pm
#15
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,545
Re: How do you respond to "how are you?"
I notice in England it seems easier and more natural to say "morning!" in greeting than "afternoon!" so the morning seems to be stretched out till about 2:30pm