Homesick in Wisconsin
#17
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
Is moving to the U.K. with your husband not an option? If you feel like this now, how are you going to feel when your kids returns home?
#18
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
I suppose all I'm saying is, "your mileage may differ" and what works for you may not work for someone else in terms of adjusting, or not, to this culture shock. What it isn't though is just "pull your socks up and make an effort".
#19
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
The OP feelings towards WI is very much like my feelings towards Canada.
I am so much happier and generally feel good when I live in San Diego or US in general, but I feel out of place, blue and not happy anywhere I have lived in Canada, the cultures are similiar but different enough where even going from US to Canada is a culture shock despite being so similiar, I can only imagine how bad it could be for someone from UK to US where I imagine the cultural differences are even bigger.
Some people also adapt to moving country better than others, and also why you end up in a new country makes a difference, come by choice for a better job and money is different than coming for family with having no intention prior to ever moving country, I had no desire to leave California but happened to meet and marry a Canadian, but I will never be happy in Canada, nor will I ever feel at home in Canada, I am a permanent visitor.
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
HI!
I've been lurking for a while, but I thought I would weigh in. Both my mother and wife are originally from England, and emigrated to Wisconsin in 1962 and 2010 respectively. (My mother was originally from West London, my wife is a Scouse...Also we are talking about western Wisconsin, so almost a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul. Not rural as the OP is experiencing.)
The only thing my mother hated (and I mean HATED) about Wisconsin was the winters. She liked the people (loved their friendliness, chuckled at their accents). She even became a Green Bay fan. The one thing she couldn't wrap her mind around was the snow and the cold every year. I vividly remember her looking out the window every January and saying to us kids "Eight more weeks of this." How did she cope? First, she loved my father. I think she would have lived on the Moon if he went. Second, going back to live in England wasn't something she wanted. After her sister died, she didn't go back the last 30 years of her life. Third, after my father retired they bought a place in Arizona to spend the winters, which helped.
My wife has taken to Wisconsin. She is thriving professionally. She has found activities that make Wisconsin winters tolerable for her. She is amazed at how friendly people are here. (Her only real complaint would be that she doesn't like driving in snow, but who does?). Also, she has a very negative view of England atm. She chose to live here, and is happy with her choice.
I'm sure none of that is helpful to the OP. What I would say to her is this: Have a long talk with your husband. Explain how you feel. Successful marriages work these things out.
I've been lurking for a while, but I thought I would weigh in. Both my mother and wife are originally from England, and emigrated to Wisconsin in 1962 and 2010 respectively. (My mother was originally from West London, my wife is a Scouse...Also we are talking about western Wisconsin, so almost a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul. Not rural as the OP is experiencing.)
The only thing my mother hated (and I mean HATED) about Wisconsin was the winters. She liked the people (loved their friendliness, chuckled at their accents). She even became a Green Bay fan. The one thing she couldn't wrap her mind around was the snow and the cold every year. I vividly remember her looking out the window every January and saying to us kids "Eight more weeks of this." How did she cope? First, she loved my father. I think she would have lived on the Moon if he went. Second, going back to live in England wasn't something she wanted. After her sister died, she didn't go back the last 30 years of her life. Third, after my father retired they bought a place in Arizona to spend the winters, which helped.
My wife has taken to Wisconsin. She is thriving professionally. She has found activities that make Wisconsin winters tolerable for her. She is amazed at how friendly people are here. (Her only real complaint would be that she doesn't like driving in snow, but who does?). Also, she has a very negative view of England atm. She chose to live here, and is happy with her choice.
I'm sure none of that is helpful to the OP. What I would say to her is this: Have a long talk with your husband. Explain how you feel. Successful marriages work these things out.
#21
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
HI!
I've been lurking for a while, but I thought I would weigh in. Both my mother and wife are originally from England, and emigrated to Wisconsin in 1962 and 2010 respectively. (My mother was originally from West London, my wife is a Scouse...Also we are talking about western Wisconsin, so almost a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul. Not rural as the OP is experiencing.)
The only thing my mother hated (and I mean HATED) about Wisconsin was the winters. She liked the people (loved their friendliness, chuckled at their accents). She even became a Green Bay fan. The one thing she couldn't wrap her mind around was the snow and the cold every year. I vividly remember her looking out the window every January and saying to us kids "Eight more weeks of this." How did she cope? First, she loved my father. I think she would have lived on the Moon if he went. Second, going back to live in England wasn't something she wanted. After her sister died, she didn't go back the last 30 years of her life. Third, after my father retired they bought a place in Arizona to spend the winters, which helped.
My wife has taken to Wisconsin. She is thriving professionally. She has found activities that make Wisconsin winters tolerable for her. She is amazed at how friendly people are here. (Her only real complaint would be that she doesn't like driving in snow, but who does?). Also, she has a very negative view of England atm. She chose to live here, and is happy with her choice.
I'm sure none of that is helpful to the OP. What I would say to her is this: Have a long talk with your husband. Explain how you feel. Successful marriages work these things out.
I've been lurking for a while, but I thought I would weigh in. Both my mother and wife are originally from England, and emigrated to Wisconsin in 1962 and 2010 respectively. (My mother was originally from West London, my wife is a Scouse...Also we are talking about western Wisconsin, so almost a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul. Not rural as the OP is experiencing.)
The only thing my mother hated (and I mean HATED) about Wisconsin was the winters. She liked the people (loved their friendliness, chuckled at their accents). She even became a Green Bay fan. The one thing she couldn't wrap her mind around was the snow and the cold every year. I vividly remember her looking out the window every January and saying to us kids "Eight more weeks of this." How did she cope? First, she loved my father. I think she would have lived on the Moon if he went. Second, going back to live in England wasn't something she wanted. After her sister died, she didn't go back the last 30 years of her life. Third, after my father retired they bought a place in Arizona to spend the winters, which helped.
My wife has taken to Wisconsin. She is thriving professionally. She has found activities that make Wisconsin winters tolerable for her. She is amazed at how friendly people are here. (Her only real complaint would be that she doesn't like driving in snow, but who does?). Also, she has a very negative view of England atm. She chose to live here, and is happy with her choice.
I'm sure none of that is helpful to the OP. What I would say to her is this: Have a long talk with your husband. Explain how you feel. Successful marriages work these things out.
What a sensitive, thoughtful post.
(You should "drop in" more often !)
I agree about the "long talk" OP should have with her husband.
It might even be helpful to show him this thread.
It demonstrates that, given her circumstances, what she's been experiencing is not abnormal.
#22
Banned
Joined: Dec 2015
Location: california
Posts: 6,035
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
I moved to the US with my teenager to marry a US citizen. That's all good, the kids in school for another year and plans to go back to the UK for university and i love my husband and all should be well.....except after being in Wisconsin for three years i couldn't tell you one thing i prefer about it over the UK, there is no up side to the US and i find it all very depressing, I'm DESPERATE, desperate to go back home. My husband is in poor health and i wouldn't think of leaving him and i'm pretty much stuck here until the kid goes back for uni anyway so i have a year to figure all this out. Does anyone else feel this way?
There is an upside to living in many places in the US. Unfortunately for you Wisconsin is one of the last places to settle after moving from the UK. Just looking up Milwaukee on You-Tube makes me sure to avoid that city like the plague
#24
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 12,865
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
So where are you going to move to given your recent diatribes about how awful California now is?
#26
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Joined: Dec 2015
Location: california
Posts: 6,035
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
Last edited by dc koop; Jan 19th 2020 at 6:33 am.
#27
Banned
Joined: Dec 2015
Location: california
Posts: 6,035
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
Well the choices are clear. Either go back to the UK or relocate to another State . She seems to have written off the USA as a whole anyway "no up side to the US" quote so the former alternative is probably the best course of action. Life in the UK is all round good for the most part so her husband could well get to like it.
Last edited by dc koop; Jan 19th 2020 at 6:37 am.
#28
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,543
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
It is easy to dismiss America’s older industrial cities, but I’ve rarely visited one that’s not worth walking around and visiting the historical & cultural sights.
#29
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
I moved to the US with my teenager to marry a US citizen. That's all good, the kids in school for another year and plans to go back to the UK for university and i love my husband and all should be well.....except after being in Wisconsin for three years i couldn't tell you one thing i prefer about it over the UK, there is no up side to the US and i find it all very depressing, I'm DESPERATE, desperate to go back home. My husband is in poor health and i wouldn't think of leaving him and i'm pretty much stuck here until the kid goes back for uni anyway so i have a year to figure all this out. Does anyone else feel this way?
I would urge you to have that talk with your OH ..If his work is at all moveable ..MOVE. Your in the foremost country for people being able to upticks and start afresh elsewhere . DO IT . Florida springs to mind. Its full of Brits now so you could feel right at home ... Good luck.
#30
Banned
Joined: Dec 2015
Location: california
Posts: 6,035
Re: Homesick in Wisconsin
However, Milwaukee does look to be an interesting and beautiful city, I’ve not visited yet but would like to spend a week there. There’s the art museum, and several other interesting-sounding museums, the Harley-Davidson Museum for instance. Then it seems it has more than its fair share of historically interesting churches and synagogues, not to mention city parks, walking routes and more.
It is easy to dismiss America’s older industrial cities, but I’ve rarely visited one that’s not worth walking around and visiting the historical & cultural sights.
It is easy to dismiss America’s older industrial cities, but I’ve rarely visited one that’s not worth walking around and visiting the historical & cultural sights.
I wouldn't recommend the Midwest since it's flat as a pancake, has bad winters and you have to go to church every Sunday otherwise they wont speak to you and every bloody radio station you tune into is a bible station. Texas might be a good location but I personally wouldn't go there because that's where Leslie lives.
Last edited by dc koop; Jan 19th 2020 at 6:58 pm.