Pulaski

If that is advice, I am inclined to agree with it.

markonline1

Is moving to the U.K. with your husband not an option? If you feel like this now, how are you going to feel when your kids returns home?

Lion in Winter

I suppose all I'm saying is, "your mileage may differ" and what works for you may not work for someone else in terms of adjusting, or not, to this culture shock. What it isn't though is just "pull your socks up and make an effort".

scrubbedexpat091

The OP feelings towards WI is very much like my feelings towards Canada.

I am so much happier and generally feel good when I live in San Diego or US in general, but I feel out of place, blue and not happy anywhere I have lived in Canada, the cultures are similiar but different enough where even going from US to Canada is a culture shock despite being so similiar, I can only imagine how bad it could be for someone from UK to US where I imagine the cultural differences are even bigger.

Some people also adapt to moving country better than others, and also why you end up in a new country makes a difference, come by choice for a better job and money is different than coming for family with having no intention prior to ever moving country, I had no desire to leave California but happened to meet and marry a Canadian, but I will never be happy in Canada, nor will I ever feel at home in Canada, I am a permanent visitor.

John2012

HI!

I've been lurking for a while, but I thought I would weigh in. Both my mother and wife are originally from England, and emigrated to Wisconsin in 1962 and 2010 respectively. (My mother was originally from West London, my wife is a Scouse...Also we are talking about western Wisconsin, so almost a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul. Not rural as the OP is experiencing.)

The only thing my mother hated (and I mean HATED) about Wisconsin was the winters. She liked the people (loved their friendliness, chuckled at their accents). She even became a Green Bay fan. The one thing she couldn't wrap her mind around was the snow and the cold every year. I vividly remember her looking out the window every January and saying to us kids "Eight more weeks of this." How did she cope? First, she loved my father. I think she would have lived on the Moon if he went. Second, going back to live in England wasn't something she wanted. After her sister died, she didn't go back the last 30 years of her life. Third, after my father retired they bought a place in Arizona to spend the winters, which helped.

My wife has taken to Wisconsin. She is thriving professionally. She has found activities that make Wisconsin winters tolerable for her. She is amazed at how friendly people are here. (Her only real complaint would be that she doesn't like driving in snow, but who does?). Also, she has a very negative view of England atm. She chose to live here, and is happy with her choice.

I'm sure none of that is helpful to the OP. What I would say to her is this: Have a long talk with your husband. Explain how you feel. Successful marriages work these things out.

MMcD

What a sensitive, thoughtful post.
(You should "drop in" more often !)

I agree about the "long talk" OP should have with her husband.
It might even be helpful to show him this thread.
It demonstrates that, given her circumstances, what she's been experiencing is not abnormal.

dc koop

There is an upside to living in many places in the US. Unfortunately for you Wisconsin is one of the last places to settle after moving from the UK. Just looking up Milwaukee on You-Tube makes me sure to avoid that city like the plague

Nutmegger

Damn, but you really know how to make a person feel better!

Giantaxe

If you'd bothered reading the thread, you'd have seen that she doesn't live in Milwaukee.

So where are you going to move to given your recent diatribes about how awful California now is?

Rete

Mouse World!

dc koop

Too bloody old and family roots here to move. I happen to like where I live anyway and which is not near LA or San Francisco. Something to be thankful for

dc koop

Well the choices are clear. Either go back to the UK or relocate to another State . She seems to have written off the USA as a whole anyway "no up side to the US" quote so the former alternative is probably the best course of action. Life in the UK is all round good for the most part so her husband could well get to like it.

robin1234

However, Milwaukee does look to be an interesting and beautiful city, I’ve not visited yet but would like to spend a week there. There’s the art museum, and several other interesting-sounding museums, the Harley-Davidson Museum for instance. Then it seems it has more than its fair share of historically interesting churches and synagogues, not to mention city parks, walking routes and more.

It is easy to dismiss America’s older industrial cities, but I’ve rarely visited one that’s not worth walking around and visiting the historical & cultural sights.

GeniB

So sorry you feel this way . My ED moved to the USA 20 yrs ago .starting in Boston. then New York, then Connecticut ,then Seattle. Then the San Juan islands .. YEP moving further and further away from us ,each time , with her then American OH. She's now in one of the most beautiful areas of the USA .Lopez Island in the San Juan's I can assure you that there are a lot of gorgeous places in the USA to live.Unfortunately you are living in perhaps one of the worst . She once stopped there whilst on a Greyhound bus trip as a student ,and thought she was in hell. ( it was in winter )
I would urge you to have that talk with your OH ..If his work is at all moveable ..MOVE. Your in the foremost country for people being able to upticks and start afresh elsewhere . DO IT . Florida springs to mind. Its full of Brits now so you could feel right at home ... Good luck.

dc koop

But living there is another issue. There's a drawback to finding a place to settle down in the US if lots of snow and wintery weather are a problem. I could recommend Colorado as a beautiful State to move to, great in summer but again the winters. Same for Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, . Along the east coast including Florida hurricanes which happen every year are an issue to deal with and the north east has some bad winters. Oregon and Washington recommended but it does rain a lot. Much like the UK so perhaps acceptable. California too crowded, the quakes and way too expensive for someone ( unless very well off ) looking for a home to buy in in a safe decent neighborhood near a large city where the jobs are. Arizona worth considering and lots of beautiful scenery but if looking for anything that even remotely resembles the fields and villages of Kent in summer forget it. There's old London Bridge though and a couple of English pubs nearby. Weather good, hot as hell in the south part in summer, cooler in the northern part but it does snow in winter but nothing substantial. Good State to live in and the people are friendly also or at least from my experience after having visited so many times over the decades.


I wouldn't recommend the Midwest since it's flat as a pancake, has bad winters and you have to go to church every Sunday otherwise they wont speak to you and every bloody radio station you tune into is a bible station. Texas might be a good location but I personally wouldn't go there because that's where Leslie lives.