help.. am in a mega pickle
#1
help.. am in a mega pickle
I am wondering if anyone has married an american, had a child and has successfully divorced, and relocated back to the UK.?
All looks rather bleak.
My husband (US) will not entertain a trial in UK, and has invited his MOTHER to live with us.
Anyone give me some hope..??
Thanks, 10 years in us and about done.
All looks rather bleak.
My husband (US) will not entertain a trial in UK, and has invited his MOTHER to live with us.
Anyone give me some hope..??
Thanks, 10 years in us and about done.
#2
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Are you in the middle of a divorce or just thinking it will end in one cause his Mum is coming to live with you?
#3
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Hi
First step get the child dual nationality and a British passport.
Dread - x
First step get the child dual nationality and a British passport.
Dread - x
#4
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Thank you for the response. My daughter is 10 weeks old and I have just got a usa passport for her to travel in june to UK. Once I am there I will apply for a british passport.
I have not started div proceedings, I am hoping I might just have baby blues, but in honesty... : ( its only a matter of time.
He is steadfast in not wanting to go to UK, and I have been so homesick for years.
I have time to plan and get organized... but am fearful its a lost cause, and being a mother now, it may be impossible for me to leave the state without his authorization.
I have not started div proceedings, I am hoping I might just have baby blues, but in honesty... : ( its only a matter of time.
He is steadfast in not wanting to go to UK, and I have been so homesick for years.
I have time to plan and get organized... but am fearful its a lost cause, and being a mother now, it may be impossible for me to leave the state without his authorization.
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Oh my goodness, what an awful situation to be in for everybody. I am guessing he is enlisting his mother to help you out?
Have you spoken to a doctor about the way you are feeling?
Have you spoken to a doctor about the way you are feeling?
#8
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Get the Brit passport in the US.
You're going to need to speak to a decent family lawyer as well as potentially a immigration lawyer. Moving a kid out of the US could be very difficult if the OH wants to put a spanner in the works, so you really need to understand your options.
You're going to need to speak to a decent family lawyer as well as potentially a immigration lawyer. Moving a kid out of the US could be very difficult if the OH wants to put a spanner in the works, so you really need to understand your options.
#10
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Get a UK passport in the US. Ok, I didn't know that. I have made an apt with an immigration lawyer.. golly it's very complicated.
How do I get her a british passport from here?
Thanks for replying guys, I feel so alone : (
How do I get her a british passport from here?
Thanks for replying guys, I feel so alone : (
#11
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Wanaque, Northern New Jersey
Posts: 270
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Be careful that it is not post partum depression playing with your emotions. After my son was born, I was soooooooooo depressed and exhausted - even with a very helpful husband. Now I wonder what the hell I would do without my son and husband.
You can apply for a British passport here in the US.
If husband wants to be a part of child's life - you are not going to be able to just take off so easily.
You can apply for a British passport here in the US.
If husband wants to be a part of child's life - you are not going to be able to just take off so easily.
#12
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 216
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
You can get UK passports from the US, I did with my kids. I feel for you and am in a situation not disimilar in that my wife (US) and I (UK) may split although we're in the UK already.
This may help http://ukinusa.fco.gov.uk/en/help-fo...als/passports/ it took about 6 weeks to get them. Do everything through the books though, not that I think you will but don't think you can go back to the UK and stay there without the father's permission. I was advised to go to www.reunite.org which has a list of lawyers, again UK based but there is a forum and advise line.
This may help http://ukinusa.fco.gov.uk/en/help-fo...als/passports/ it took about 6 weeks to get them. Do everything through the books though, not that I think you will but don't think you can go back to the UK and stay there without the father's permission. I was advised to go to www.reunite.org which has a list of lawyers, again UK based but there is a forum and advise line.
#13
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Moi.
Thanks for sharing and I hope it is PP blues. Last night I had stern words with his mother (ok... I lost my rag..) but, had the best night sleep in ages.
Maybe I'll postpone my lawyer apt for a month, see how I feel.
Maybe I could buy a one way to Libya for the MIL.
I think she's half the problem.. I'm married to a momma's boy, literally 4 of us in this marriage. All my fam are in blighty.
been home 36 times in 10 years. soon to be 37.. HOORAY
Thanks for sharing and I hope it is PP blues. Last night I had stern words with his mother (ok... I lost my rag..) but, had the best night sleep in ages.
Maybe I'll postpone my lawyer apt for a month, see how I feel.
Maybe I could buy a one way to Libya for the MIL.
I think she's half the problem.. I'm married to a momma's boy, literally 4 of us in this marriage. All my fam are in blighty.
been home 36 times in 10 years. soon to be 37.. HOORAY
#14
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Wanaque, Northern New Jersey
Posts: 270
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
I also have a MIL from hell and we lived with his parents for 1 1/2 years when we first got married - she would do anything and everything to bring me down and husband would constantly try to stay on the fence. I had not seen my family for a long time and she made a huge stink and scene about me and hubs visiting England when we should have been saving $.
However, 11 years into the marriage and our 5 year old involved he will finally tell her where to go and I do not communicate much with her - (out of sight - out of mind). However, if husband wants to take our son to visit their house then that is husbands and sons rights, just keep me out of the pic. I can do without her negative comments towards me.
Now you have a child in the mix, he may eventually realize that you and child (his direct family unit) is a priority - but it may take time. SLEEP always helps!
Wow - all those times to UK! Do you get cheap deals?
However, 11 years into the marriage and our 5 year old involved he will finally tell her where to go and I do not communicate much with her - (out of sight - out of mind). However, if husband wants to take our son to visit their house then that is husbands and sons rights, just keep me out of the pic. I can do without her negative comments towards me.
Now you have a child in the mix, he may eventually realize that you and child (his direct family unit) is a priority - but it may take time. SLEEP always helps!
Wow - all those times to UK! Do you get cheap deals?
#15
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 88
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Just wanted to add: if you feel alone and overwhelmed it would be really good to talk to a therapist. There are SOME good ones. I know because I had one! (It's kinda like dating: you have to find the right one )
You can still plan to leave hubby but do so with a lot of support and advice -- and help to sort through your many emotions right now.
All the best... I understand the homesickness.
You can still plan to leave hubby but do so with a lot of support and advice -- and help to sort through your many emotions right now.
All the best... I understand the homesickness.