help.. am in a mega pickle
I am wondering if anyone has married an american, had a child and has successfully divorced, and relocated back to the UK.?
All looks rather bleak. My husband (US) will not entertain a trial in UK, and has invited his MOTHER to live with us. Anyone give me some hope..?? Thanks, 10 years in us and about done. |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Are you in the middle of a divorce or just thinking it will end in one cause his Mum is coming to live with you?
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Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Hi
First step get the child dual nationality and a British passport. Dread - x |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Thank you for the response. My daughter is 10 weeks old and I have just got a usa passport for her to travel in june to UK. Once I am there I will apply for a british passport.
I have not started div proceedings, I am hoping I might just have baby blues, but in honesty... : ( its only a matter of time. He is steadfast in not wanting to go to UK, and I have been so homesick for years. I have time to plan and get organized... but am fearful its a lost cause, and being a mother now, it may be impossible for me to leave the state without his authorization. |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Oh my goodness, what an awful situation to be in for everybody. I am guessing he is enlisting his mother to help you out?
Have you spoken to a doctor about the way you are feeling? |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Ironically he is a shrink!
But most of them are crazy : ) |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Originally Posted by alien species
(Post 9255762)
Ironically he is a shrink!
But most of them are crazy : ) |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Get the Brit passport in the US.
You're going to need to speak to a decent family lawyer as well as potentially a immigration lawyer. Moving a kid out of the US could be very difficult if the OH wants to put a spanner in the works, so you really need to understand your options. |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Originally Posted by alien species
(Post 9255762)
Ironically he is a shrink!
But most of them are crazy : ) |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Get a UK passport in the US. Ok, I didn't know that. I have made an apt with an immigration lawyer.. golly it's very complicated.
How do I get her a british passport from here? Thanks for replying guys, I feel so alone : ( |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Be careful that it is not post partum depression playing with your emotions. After my son was born, I was soooooooooo depressed and exhausted - even with a very helpful husband. Now I wonder what the hell I would do without my son and husband.
You can apply for a British passport here in the US. If husband wants to be a part of child's life - you are not going to be able to just take off so easily. |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
You can get UK passports from the US, I did with my kids. I feel for you and am in a situation not disimilar in that my wife (US) and I (UK) may split although we're in the UK already.
This may help http://ukinusa.fco.gov.uk/en/help-fo...als/passports/ it took about 6 weeks to get them. Do everything through the books though, not that I think you will but don't think you can go back to the UK and stay there without the father's permission. I was advised to go to www.reunite.org which has a list of lawyers, again UK based but there is a forum and advise line. |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Moi.
Thanks for sharing and I hope it is PP blues. Last night I had stern words with his mother (ok... I lost my rag..) but, had the best night sleep in ages. Maybe I'll postpone my lawyer apt for a month, see how I feel. Maybe I could buy a one way to Libya for the MIL. I think she's half the problem.. I'm married to a momma's boy, literally 4 of us in this marriage. All my fam are in blighty. been home 36 times in 10 years. soon to be 37.. HOORAY |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
I also have a MIL from hell and we lived with his parents for 1 1/2 years when we first got married - she would do anything and everything to bring me down and husband would constantly try to stay on the fence. I had not seen my family for a long time and she made a huge stink and scene about me and hubs visiting England when we should have been saving $.
However, 11 years into the marriage and our 5 year old involved he will finally tell her where to go and I do not communicate much with her - (out of sight - out of mind). However, if husband wants to take our son to visit their house then that is husbands and sons rights, just keep me out of the pic. I can do without her negative comments towards me. Now you have a child in the mix, he may eventually realize that you and child (his direct family unit) is a priority - but it may take time. SLEEP always helps! Wow - all those times to UK! Do you get cheap deals? |
Re: help.. am in a mega pickle
Just wanted to add: if you feel alone and overwhelmed it would be really good to talk to a therapist. There are SOME good ones. I know because I had one! (It's kinda like dating: you have to find the right one :) )
You can still plan to leave hubby but do so with a lot of support and advice -- and help to sort through your many emotions right now. All the best... I understand the homesickness. |
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