British Expats - Gone too Soon

I'd like to tell you about a co-worker of mine who lost his life on Wednesday, July 9th, 2008.

David was a kind soul ... married for 11 years and the father of two little girls, ages 3 and 5. He was a handsome man in his late thirties, always friendly, always patient. In fact, in the three years I worked with him I never saw him cross or angry ... or stressed for that matter. He always had an easiness about him in any situation, a sort of quiet, gentle, goodnaturedness. While he worked in IT at our company at the helpdesk, he was studying for his Masters in order to pursue a career in education, and I have no doubt that he would have made a fine teacher.

When I was pursuing my own Master's degree and had to make a presentation related to IT, I asked David for some input as he had given an excellent presentation related to data security at our company. Not only did he give me his blessing to use some of the content he had shared, David also sent me additional videos and thoughts on what had happened in the past year since he had presented. When my laptop had problems he worked on it for hours when the helpdesk was slow in order to help my husband and I out. I have a Newfoundland (dog) calendar in my cubicle at work - and I remember one day when David dropped by and told me of growing up in Canada and being pulled on a sled by one of these gentle giants when he was little. His face lit up as he recounted the story. In fact every memory I have of him is one where he was smiling ... sharing in light-hearted conversation, or just when passing in the hall.

Everyone loved him. I can't think of anyone I would say was a nicer person, he was truly a prince among men.

This past Wednesday a company-wide e-mail came out with his name in the title. My husband had thought that he was about to read that David had been promoted. A hush fell across the office when we read the following instead: "It is with great sadness that I must share with you that David passed away this afternoon. We have no further details to share at this time, but will relay funeral arrangements when they are available. Please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers."

Everyone was shocked. Some in remote offices called me within minutes - did I know anything? I did not. As he was only in his late thirties we wondered ... was it a sudden heart attack? A car accident? Did he have an illness either he or we weren't aware of? It didn't seem real ... it couldn't be real.

A few minutes later the head of my department approached each of us individually. While the investigation was ongoing, it appeared that David had taken his own life. The story was that his marriage was in trouble, and his wife was planning to leave with the kids. He had called in sick to work on Tuesday, and the company had not heard from him on Wednesday. His father had found him and called his boss, relaying what had happened.

Once this horrible news was shared, all my coworkers and I could think of was ... that we wished he had reached out for help. That he had let someone know he was in trouble, or what was going on in his life. Because no matter how bad things were, he had many who would have supported him. He was loved by many, and had two little daughters who will now grow up without him. I would categorize myself as a friendly acquaintance, and my heart aches as I write this.

Tomorrow is his funeral, and it will be a difficult day for all of us.

So why am I writing this? Because a beautiful human being was lost last Wednesday. Because my hope is that if anyone out there is suffering the way he was, that they will reach out ... realizing that even if it seems like life is unliveable there are reasons to go on. Because I also hope that each of us will reach out to those who need us, in their time of need.

Because it's on my mind.

RIP David.