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Four years in - and want out!

Four years in - and want out!

Old Apr 20th 2014, 4:20 am
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Default Four years in - and want out!

Not been here for a wee while, hullo!

Need someone to kick me up the backside/pat me on the head and say 'there, there'.

It's a little over 4 years since we moved here and I'm just so cheesed off with life. It just seems to have got very hard over the last few months. Nothing is ever straightforward and life is no fun.

My OH had a very bad accident earlier this year when we were on holiday. He had excellent health care, but his mobility is very limited at the moment, so I am running around trying to do everything and am just knackered. As is always the case in these situations, you do find out who your friends are - a couple of folk have helped out a bit which was really kind as they have their own lives to lead but most have just disappeared. We have decent insurance but of course there's the inevitable screw-ups and endless phone calls trying to sort things out. Plus there's a couple of bills we might get stuffed on as apparently ambulances are out of network (even though we didn't get any other option than to use the ambulances). It's cost a fortune with all the unexpected expenses. And we lost our holiday which we were really looking forward to and I'm pretty gutted about it. We won't be able to travel anywhere for the foreseeable future.

I've been rear-ended twice in the past year - other driver clearly at fault both times as I was stopped at traffic lights. It's several months since the last incident but the other driver's insurance company is dragging things out, so we are still seriously out of pocket.

I'd been trying to get a job, but couldn't even get a reply to my applications. Now I can't even look for a job as OH is so dependant. I have very few friends, and none who're American (is it weird to want to make friends with the folk in the country you live in???). Not for the want of trying - before OH's accident, I used to go to the gym, volunteer every week, even just stroll round the local shops or the neighbourhood regularly, hoping to meet people, to no avail. The isolation is starting to drive me nuts.

Feel a bit better for having a rant. I am hating life here so much right now. At least if we were in Britain we'd have a support system from our families, friends I'd see regularly, I'd still have a decent job and I wouldn't be worrying about all the medical bills.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 4:49 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Ouch. Hope whether you end up staying here, or head back home, that things pick up for you
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 5:12 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Originally Posted by MadRad View Post
Not been here for a wee while, hullo!

Need someone to kick me up the backside/pat me on the head and say 'there, there'.

It's a little over 4 years since we moved here and I'm just so cheesed off with life. It just seems to have got very hard over the last few months. Nothing is ever straightforward and life is no fun.

My OH had a very bad accident earlier this year when we were on holiday. He had excellent health care, but his mobility is very limited at the moment, so I am running around trying to do everything and am just knackered. As is always the case in these situations, you do find out who your friends are - a couple of folk have helped out a bit which was really kind as they have their own lives to lead but most have just disappeared. We have decent insurance but of course there's the inevitable screw-ups and endless phone calls trying to sort things out. Plus there's a couple of bills we might get stuffed on as apparently ambulances are out of network (even though we didn't get any other option than to use the ambulances). It's cost a fortune with all the unexpected expenses. And we lost our holiday which we were really looking forward to and I'm pretty gutted about it. We won't be able to travel anywhere for the foreseeable future.

I've been rear-ended twice in the past year - other driver clearly at fault both times as I was stopped at traffic lights. It's several months since the last incident but the other driver's insurance company is dragging things out, so we are still seriously out of pocket.

I'd been trying to get a job, but couldn't even get a reply to my applications. Now I can't even look for a job as OH is so dependant. I have very few friends, and none who're American (is it weird to want to make friends with the folk in the country you live in???). Not for the want of trying - before OH's accident, I used to go to the gym, volunteer every week, even just stroll round the local shops or the neighbourhood regularly, hoping to meet people, to no avail. The isolation is starting to drive me nuts.

Feel a bit better for having a rant. I am hating life here so much right now. At least if we were in Britain we'd have a support system from our families, friends I'd see regularly, I'd still have a decent job and I wouldn't be worrying about all the medical bills.

Life is most definitely what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.

It can be hard changing countries at the best of times, so I hope things improve for you. Sounds like your husband's health is the first thing. On job hunting, you just have to try and try again. It's always "no" until suddenly someone says "yes" - and that could be the next one.

Good luck.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 5:42 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

My initial reaction is if you do move back, I think you can more or less forget your insurance claim over here. Whilst you can still do it, it's going to be much more difficult to handle from the UK and chances are the insurance company would drag their feet even more. So be prepared for that. As others have said, with job applications, it's just a matter of trying and trying again and again, I certainly feel for you on that front. Then, don't forget the reasons you moved here. Before all this cr** started happening were you happy with your situation? Chances are, this will all be over (eventually) and you will be back in the frame of mind you were before it all happened, so that may affect any decision made in the heat of the anguish you are going through.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 5:43 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

I am really sorry to hear about your troubles.

I have a confession, I looked up your past posts in order to place you, and got hooked reading a thread called "Difficult to make friends in America?"

It can be really hard at the best of times here without our familiar support networks. I do hope things look up for you both soon.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 6:17 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Thanks, everyone.

It's always good to get someone else's perspective. I should add, even though I'd love to leave the US right now, it can't actually happen. For a kick off, OH can't travel anywhere. And he has a career here. He likes living here and is happy. We also own a house and pets. I'm not seriously thinking about leaving the US even though life is cr*p just now. I was a bit down about everything else before OH had his accident - it really was the icing on the cake.

I am really venting here because I just needed an outlet. I'm trying to stay positive for OH. He's been very motivated about his recovery, which is great, and I don't want to put a dampener on that. I just feel incredibly frustrated about a rubbish situation for the foreseeable future. Hopefully once OH is better I can start looking for a job again. I always worked when we lived in the UK and really want to do so again.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 6:40 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Originally Posted by MadRad View Post
Not been here for a wee while, hullo!

Need someone to kick me up the backside/pat me on the head and say 'there, there'.

It's a little over 4 years since we moved here and I'm just so cheesed off with life. It just seems to have got very hard over the last few months. Nothing is ever straightforward and life is no fun.

My OH had a very bad accident earlier this year when we were on holiday. He had excellent health care, but his mobility is very limited at the moment, so I am running around trying to do everything and am just knackered. As is always the case in these situations, you do find out who your friends are - a couple of folk have helped out a bit which was really kind as they have their own lives to lead but most have just disappeared. We have decent insurance but of course there's the inevitable screw-ups and endless phone calls trying to sort things out. Plus there's a couple of bills we might get stuffed on as apparently ambulances are out of network (even though we didn't get any other option than to use the ambulances). It's cost a fortune with all the unexpected expenses. And we lost our holiday which we were really looking forward to and I'm pretty gutted about it. We won't be able to travel anywhere for the foreseeable future.

I've been rear-ended twice in the past year - other driver clearly at fault both times as I was stopped at traffic lights. It's several months since the last incident but the other driver's insurance company is dragging things out, so we are still seriously out of pocket.

I'd been trying to get a job, but couldn't even get a reply to my applications. Now I can't even look for a job as OH is so dependant. I have very few friends, and none who're American (is it weird to want to make friends with the folk in the country you live in???). Not for the want of trying - before OH's accident, I used to go to the gym, volunteer every week, even just stroll round the local shops or the neighbourhood regularly, hoping to meet people, to no avail. The isolation is starting to drive me nuts.

Feel a bit better for having a rant. I am hating life here so much right now. At least if we were in Britain we'd have a support system from our families, friends I'd see regularly, I'd still have a decent job and I wouldn't be worrying about all the medical bills.
Colorado does not have a sense of community, lots of transients. Lots of people move in and out of that state. Yes, I felt the same way when I lived there and I'm American. Very isolating isn't it. It's why I moved back to the Mid West. Get things sorted out before you make any big move. When we're in these situations sometimes our imagination gets the best of us and we imagine the worst, but more often than not things work out. Keep posting, it will do you a lot of good.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 9:36 pm
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

With regard to the other guy's insurance, file a complaint with the state insurance commissioner.
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Old Apr 20th 2014, 9:51 pm
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Originally Posted by Redwing View Post
With regard to the other guy's insurance, file a complaint with the state insurance commissioner.
Or you should be able to collect from your own insurance company on your collusion coverage and wait for the two insurance companies to settle and then get your deductible paid when they agree that it was the other guys fault.
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Old Apr 21st 2014, 12:44 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Originally Posted by MadRad View Post
I've been rear-ended twice in the past year - other driver clearly at fault both times as I was stopped at traffic lights. It's several months since the last incident but the other driver's insurance company is dragging things out, so we are still seriously out of pocket.
Hi, my names chocolatebabz and people like to rear end me. [Hi chocolatebabz]

I'm batting 3 for 3, rear-ended 3 times in 3 years, is it me, my car, the saltire flying from my car ariel, who knows but these Texans need to back the hell up. If I didn't laugh I'd cry, actually I did cry the third time, what a wuss!

I can completely understand how you feel, when things are crap and your stuck in a foreign country without your friends and family it only magnifies the problems. I don't have a fix for you other than to commiserate and wish I was closer so I could offer you a cuppa and a hobnob.

Don't keep it bottled up, talk to your other half, moan about it together, get mad together, try to find something to laugh about together. I hope things start to look up for you, you can always come on here for a perk up
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Old Apr 21st 2014, 4:36 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

On job hunting, you just have to try and try again. It's always "no" until suddenly someone says "yes" - and that could be the next one.
They can even say "no" and mean "yes". I got the job I just left because I was a temp, and expected to leave when someone returned from having her baby, except that they found I was good at something they hadn't considered, and hired me permanently for that position instead. I still don't know how exactly they worked that one out with the agency, since the agency at first tried to say they couldn't do it, and the company told me "sorry, we can't do it", but they did do it and I worked for the company for 12 years.
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Old Apr 24th 2014, 3:16 am
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

and dont discount how much being tired affects your mood. If you are having to do everything right now then you must be really tired and will find it harder to bounce back. When my hubbie had a shoulder op and was out of action for a fairly short while- I had to do everything on my own (with 3 young kids and 2 mad dogs lol). I was exhausted.

Once you can get a break from it - when he gets a bit more mobile again - your mood should naturally improve. Or maybe see if a friend could stay for a day to let you get out and rest or do something just for you. Even a few hours to yourself could improve your mood no end.
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Old Apr 24th 2014, 12:57 pm
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Currently going through something similar after a taxi ploughed into a couple of parked cars which pushed them into our parked car. That was over a month ago and our car still isn't in the garage, the cabbies insurance is stalling so much we're considering legal action.
Anyway, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and you're rightly fed up. If it's not one thing it's another, let us know how you're doing and feel free to vent anytime.
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Old Apr 24th 2014, 4:04 pm
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

Oh how I can sympathize. I think that you're probably exhausted and just feel like life is not giving you a break. I'm sorry that you're feeling isolated, because I know that everything seems so much harder when you have no outlet to vent or let it all out. Honestly, try and focus on all the good things that you have in your life right now, the fact that your OH is slowly going to get better and that a new job is just around the corner. Sometimes it has to be a glass half full to keep us going, and just to get us through the day. Recently I have considered moving back, but when I really sit and think it all through, that's not an option for us either, no job, no home, no anything really apart from family

Try and hang on in there. Times seem tough right now, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, whatever that might be, and you will come through this and out the other end. We're always here if you need to vent or talk stuff through, and if all else fails, pour a large glass of wine
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Old Apr 24th 2014, 4:54 pm
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Default Re: Four years in - and want out!

hope things pick up for you soon
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