Pete H

So my wife's ex decided to invite himself to my Mother in laws Easter dinner. When we got there my wife went right to him and told him "You are creating a problem" to which he replied "FU" and left.

He has never done anything like this before until my step daughter went to live with him and his new girlfriend.

He was only supposed to drop my step daughter off and leave.

Does anyone else have problems like this and what do you do?

Pulaski

It seems to me that it was your wife that exhibited poor etiquette. If you're invited to someone else's house it is entirely their business who they invite and who they allow in, and IMHO it is not up to any other guest to take on the roll of bouncer or doorkeeper.

I agree that it was probably inappropriate for your wife's ex to invite himself in, but you have no control over that.

Pete H

But nobody invited him, he dropped my step daughter off and then invited himself in.

If someone invited themselves in your house wouldn't you be annoyed.

Jerseygirl

Was it your wife's house?

Pete H

No its her Mom and Dads house. They did not invite him in.

Jerseygirl

In that case I agree with Mr P...it was down your MIL and FIL to address the situation. On the other hand...it sounds like the ex was trying to cause friction.

The loser in all this is the daughter IMO...although I don't know the history.

Pulaski

Yes, but not if it was my in-laws' or parents' house, they can invite/allow in whoever they want, and I wouldn't presume to tell someone in my in-laws' or parents' house to leave.

moneypenny20

Absolutely. Maybe he wanted to spend time with his ex inlaws and his child. Maybe the child asked him to stay a while. Either way a guest telling another guest (invited or not) is out of order. Behaving like that in front of the child seems very off imo.

scrubbedexpat099

Was it at the MIL request?

Dorothy

Having just spent Easter weekend in the company of my partner's ex I can honestly say that no matter how much he may dislike her he would never presume to tell her that she's causing a scene, even if she was. It's not his place to tell his ex - the mother of his children - that she's not welcome in someone else's home. She's done some things that were well out of order in the years since their divorce, but she is still the other parent of his children and so for their sake we're polite to her and her new husband.

scot47

My experience is that the ex is best avoided. This can entail some forward planning and fancy footwork. The consensus her seems to be that you do not tell someone in another person's house that they have to leave. Poor show,

Pulaski

It took me several hours, and night's sleep to work out what you meant. .... I suppose it's possible that the MIL asked her daughter to send the ex packing, but what Pete H said seemed to imply that it was his wife who took the initiative.

scrubbedexpat099

WE need clarification, the way he wrote it does not put his wife in a good light.

Leslie

If my ex was making my parents uncomfortable in their own home, the onus would be on me to deal with him.

Pulaski

The OP does not say that the in-laws were uncomfortable, but implies that his (the OP's wife) is the one that was uncomfortable.