CitySimon

Well, I'm in the USA and have been for six years... Yet tonight, I can't stop thinking of England and can't sleep.

My Mum told me a couple of weeks back that a tumor had been found in her head and they're trying to take it out next Monday... I'm 3,000 miles away from my Mum and no realistic way to getting home for the surgery.

This is the pisser with being an emigrant from my home country, people who we know and love grow old, get ill and will eventually die without us being there to see them going through their days.

All I see of them is the same as I send them of people in the US: A series of "stages of life" pictures.


Before I moved to the US, I was guilty of seeing immigrants coming into the UK in a less than favorable light. They were vermin who were looking to take our jobs and our taxes and yet I find myself now an immigrant and I have a growing sense of respect for anyone who has decided that a better life exists elsewhere... They leave behind everything they understand and know, many leave behind a language and culture and throw themselves into a strange and unknown world into which some people tell them that they must assimilate and forget who they were.

Based on this forum, I know that many do not succeed in their move, but many, myself included, do succeed in making a new life for themselves and the sacrifice, from my own perspective, is a life long decision to forgo all in their home country except for what the BBC can tell us.

Have a good night's sleep everyone.

-Simon

*This probably should have gone in the Trailer Park.

YoungSteve17

I'v had those nights, many times. Maybe its something i saw on TV or on the internet that reminded me of home but i just cant stop thinking about it and can never get to sleep.

I can totally understand your feeling helplessness about you mum being so far away at a time like this. Sometimes i wonder how bad i would feel if something happened to my brother back home, there would be no way back as i don't have even have a passport ! I guess that's one thing that we have to accept living overseas that if something happens back home we cant always be there.
At least you know you are not alone in what you are feeling. Thats the thing i like about BE, you can be around people in a similar situation that you are in, even if it is on the interent.

I hope everything goes well with your mum

made of kent

I can't sleep either, my mum died when I was 27 and dad at 33, I am still not over it at 39! tomorrow when I an not sleep deprived I will answer,(my twins are vomiting for England!) poor souls, whatever the bug it a nasty one!

mrloki

Cant sleep either. :-/
All the stress of the immagration forms and now i think ill probably be up for fraud and seperated from my wife.

Hope your mum is ok m8.

tonrob

Your post struck a chord with me.

My father called one awful evening last year to say that my mum had breast cancer and was going in for a mastectomy the very next day. They had known about this for many weeks and had kept it from me so that "I wouldn't worry" and do anything "silly", like fly over to be there. That was one of the worst moments of my life; the walls started closing in and I never, ever felt so far away from anything that mattered as I did right then. The operation and all subsequent treatment was a success and mum is fine now.

My heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you. Be strong, mate.

Jerseygirl

Twice this year...within a few weeks of each other I've lost a close family member. To receive 'that call'...not being there to say goodbye is heart wrenching. As an expat you know one day you're going to get 'that call'...but nothing can prepare you for it.

I hope your mum's surgery goes well and she makes a full recovery.

bevinva

My family never sees me cry. After I received the call to say my mums cancer was terminal I called my OH, I remember saying "my my mum" and then disintegrating into sobs. He didn't understand anything except I was crying so it must have been really bad. He came right home.

I think there are feelings about home and family we "pack away in a box" on a daily basis to help us deal with it, or not. Then when news from home makes us open the box the intensity can be overwhelming.

Rete

Simon, prayers and good wishes for your Mum that the operation is successful and the cancer eradicated.

nethead

Sorry to hear about your mum, I hope her surgery goes well.

CitySimon

Thanks guys.

That's one of the things I like the most about BE... You can always guarantee that loads of people have been through the same situation before and it's nice to have a place to let it out.

Hopefully the surgery will go well.

-Simon

Mummy in the foothills

Awww sorry about your Mum.
I've had a few of those calls myself, the first when I was 8mths pregnant and could go even if I wanted to. I remember the helpless feelings and life going on around me like nothing was happening.
Here's hoping your Mum will be fine an you'll get to see her.

lisa67

Hope everything goes ok. My Mum had surgery the other day and seems to be ok, but it's a real bummer when you can't be there to just give them a hug. My family often thinks that I've grown "cold" over the years about them/situations at home, but it's the only way i can cope being so far from any of them. I love my life here, but at times like these it's certainly no bed of roses

lansbury

Hope everything goes well for your mum Simon. May she make a fully recovery

Noorah101

Simon, sending best wishes for your mom and her health, and you finding sleep in the nights to come.

Rene

Dan725

Very poignant post Simon - hope all goes well.