Dave_Was

Guys and Gals,

I'm lost and not sure what to do. I live in the US with my wife, who is amazing, but we are feeling really lonely. Not in the sense of no friends but we miss our families hugely.

My wife is from India but has close family in the UK that live close to my family in the UK, pretty much all around Heathrow. So going back to the UK should take care of that a bit.

We like the environment in the US and I have a really good job. However, she is lonely and I'm getting more and more homesick. In the UK though, there's not much call for people in my field. I've got to the point where now I'm just questioning even if I picked the right career, sure I make decent money in the US, but I can't be near my family. Even from when I did live in the UK the few companies that did have work in my field where on the edge of what was commutable from London.

I've just started the process of a green card application, but to be honest I have no idea how long that will take. Some people get it done in months and others years.

I just don't feel in control of anything and miss all the folks at home. Phoning and using the webcam in a way makes me even more homesick.

Worst thing is that I lived in the US before and then moved back to the UK when I was offered a good job there, but then the company folded. However, I remember when I went back I felt like a failure and that was to a reasonably good job.

Anyway I'll sign off here as I'm not explaining anything well.

Scout

I don't know how old you are........but I know at some point in my 30s I woke up and realized it was not how much money I made, what my job title was, what my car was and how big my house was that was important.

Once I realized that.....I started concentrating more on what made me really happy instead of acquiring the 'good life'........

After meeting my hubs.......he moved to the US.......was miserable.......we moved to the UK.........I left behind my corporate career....the big house (OK....the house wasn't really big, lol).....the two cars....and ya know what? I'm happy as a clam.........hub's family is right next door......I work in my own Shop/Post Office......we have a small Fiat Punto.....but only work a 15 minute walk from home.

Pretty mufch if family is what is really important to you then consider coming home........even if it means changing careers.

polarbearmum

The most important thing in my life is my family. And it is completely true that you can be surrounded by 'friends' and yet be really lonely.

What made you feel a failure in you last move to the UK? How long did you stay before moving to the US and how long had you been away in the first place? I do know what you mean though about a failure. That was a big thing for me when we were discussing a move back. I had made such a big thing about coming to Canada that I was scared that if and when we went back people would be doing all that pointing and talking.

We are going back though as my kids need to know my side of the family, my OH wants to experience life in the UK and we need to decide where eventually we will be retiring.

Good luck with your decision.

Mountain Girl

Dont ever feel like a failure, you had the guts and confidence to give it a go. Do what makes you and yours happy. If it is being near your family then make it so.

The very best of luck with your decision.

Dave_Was

Last time I went back it was more that I felt so anonymous and that I had wasted a couple of years of my life on a trip to the US. In a way I felt like I had spent my whole life trying to get out of my hometown and just ended back there.

I spent two years in the US and though I had begun to like it, I got a job offer in the UK that was just to good to refuse. Unfortunately after a year the company shut down the site. After that it was pretty difficult to find permanent work and so I went contracting for a couple of years and most of that time was in Ireland. Then an old friend gave me a lead for a good job, the fact that it was in the US was secondary.

I'm in my mid 30's now and feel that the decision I make now will have a big impact on my future. I feel that if I left the US now I'd never be able to come back as I would have come out twice and gone back twice.

Workwise I don't know what I would do. Now I just feel that I've just been making wrong decisions with everything. First doing engineering at University, then leaving the UK, then leaving the US and then leaving the UK again.

BTW I've been in the US for about 2 1/2 years this time.

Shivster

I think making the move to go overseas takes guts and you can never be called a failure for trying it.

Jerseygirl

You shouldn't feel a failure or that you've wasted x years of your life. You've had an experience most can only dream of.

Leaving the US without citizenship may mean you will not be able to be a US resident again.

Shivster

If he doesn't have a GC now it'll be a hell of a wait until he can become a USC.

Jerseygirl

I know...but at least if he waits for the GC he can apply for leave of absence...between 1 and 2 years I believe.

Shivster

I have a friend here who's waiting for her GC and has been for ages. She thought she had a four month wait this month until the State Dept changed everything and now they're saying another year.

Dave_Was

That would really be the ideal thing, if I got my GC soon and then I could 'try out' the UK again. I think that once you have the GC you can leave the country for 2 years and then come back. The only problem is the stories of people being stuck in name checks for years.

It's like the string thing. I could get the GC on Oct1st though it could also be a year or more.

Jerseygirl

What do you have to loose? Apply for it...you never know it may come through before you leave.

Shivster

If you haven't got a job to go back to, why not sit here and wait for your GC and in the meantime job hunt back home and start saving should you decide that moving back is right for you.

simongb

Here is my two cents. Right now you are not totally sure as to what you will do back in the UK. You are also working on getting your green card. I would advise you to create a plan. By this I mean, start to look at what you could do back in the UK and have a reasonable income. If this means retraining, then do it. At the same time, save up some money for your move and be applying for your GC and then citizenship. This will take a few years, but in that time you will have more direction. Right now I think you are feeling trapped but you don't have a plan to escape. Anyway, that's just my two cents. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

Jerseygirl

You can't apply to become an USC until you've held a GC for 5 yrs.