I really thought it was supposed to get easier. I've been away for 10 years (married a USC), and yet the pull home has never been stronger. I've tried to fit in here but it hasnt happened. I miss my family and friends more than ever. I miss the landscapes, the culture, the sense of humour. I miss being understood. I'm just wondering if other people experienced the same thing. I think if I came home, I would be doing so alone.

Yes, and I've been here 16 years this time, and 6 years in the first stint.
I'm ready to pack.

Not to pry, but the comment about coming home alone made me wonder if there are some issues from which you are trying to escape? Not looking for an answer on that, just presenting a point of view that I always want to "go home" moreso when I'm having a bad time of things as I long for the familiarity and comfort it brings. If you simply feel your other half would not want to do it, you'll never know that until you sit and really go through it. My husband (we're both Brits) was far more open to discuss the idea of a return home (although we're not doing that at the mo!) than I ever dreamed he would be. Hope you find a way to figure out the direction you need to go in to initially assess the options.

I don't know your marriage situation.....but have you truely sat down with your spouse and discussed your feelings?

I'm a USC married to a Brit....I honestly didn't know what was going on with him a few years ago when he was so miserable and hated living in the States. Once we sat down and talked it all through......we came to the decision to move to the UK. I have no regrets. He's happier, life is pretty good and while I do miss the States from time to time, the UK is home to me now.

Thanks for the replies.
We have plans and they are her dream. We talked about it a year or two ago and she would stay here. I live quite well here, which makes me think I'm crazy sometimes!

Go back for a visit if you havent. Places seldom stay how you remember them, if they were in fact ever how you remember them. A lot can change in 10 years, and nostalgia is seldom what it used to be.

Sounds like you have an OK life, so dont do anything reckless to ruin it...

I've been away 26 years, said I would never go back, and here I am getting ready to! Agree with you completely, miss the culture, miss being understood. More so as I get older. Something to be said for being with your own kind/clan. Helps if you have some other Brits locally you can relate to, that's when I got more homesick, when I no longer had someone at the end of the day to come home to who understood me.

How do I get you to convince my USC wife?

If life is all OK with you then do a trip back for however long you are able to go with your wife. You have by the sound of it some more talking through together.

I agree about taking a trip home for as long as you can to see how you feel about it once you're there. Personally, I think after 10 years you should feel happy where you are. That's long enough to give it a good go and know if it's going to work or not. A lot of people come home much sooner than that. I've only been here half that time and I'm thinking about going home. Life is short, so I can't imagine just letting years go by without making a decision, which is why i'm trying to make this decision now. Has your wife spent much time in the UK? How does she feel about it?

People get restless, they attibute some parts of their general dissatisfaction to their location, rightly or wrongly, and perhaps forget the reasons they left a place originally. I think a long visit back is a good idea

Too true...

After 2 weeks in July in Yorkshire and London, I just wanted to get back to blue skies and wide open roads and huge parking spaces

But I take the point about being understood

I have just joined the local rifle club and they are all sitting around relaxed until I open my mouth and then they stiffen up like what is this alien. They treat me very well and are generous and considerate - but they were all brought up together in a small town 60 years ago and I will always be stranger.

Bit like a Glaswegian in Barnsley

I get it everywhere and that isn't nice

When personal things are not going well it's natural to run for home. Our cat heads for the back of the washer and Brits head for Britain

I wouldnt burn any boats whatever I do from now on....

A dose of bradford on a wet and windy and dark Sunday morning in November would cure me at the moment - in 5 or 10 years it might be different

Maybe a visit would help. We visit every two years at the moment. Its funny how our circumstances and thoughts change over time. Its only when you're in a different country on a different path that you can fully appreciate all that you've given up.

very true

Oh god, yes miss the humour, scenary, buildings, christmas, shopping, tv to name but a few.......

Family, friends goes without saying.

Sometimes the pull to go back is unbearable

Heading 'home' for christmas for a month(can't wait) to hopefully make our minds up Will be interesting to see if we just feel like we are home if you know what I mean?!!)