14 Years in California & still homesick!
May 24th 2008, 2:12 am
#46
Sloopy Frickenbutt
Joined: May 2006
Location: Its good ere Honest........
Posts: 5,225
May 24th 2008, 4:38 pm
#47
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
You are right, it is a bit of both. I am very close to my family and living apart from them has always been hard. My OH who is also from UK (N.Ireland) is not as close to his, so has no problems going for years without seeing them. However, I think there is a lot more to my situation. My OH has become very anti-social and goes nowhere. I have felt very isolated and have spent the last 14 years just taking care of him and the kids. He also has a drinking problem and that has put a huge strain on our marriage so over the years I have started to resent living here and away from my family. He has never really understood why I should want to go home, he hates me ever talking anything positive about England and the kids are not allowed to jokingly talk with an English accent. He even tells them that the English are all idiots and they should not have anything to do with the country.
So hopefully, you can see that in my situation it isn't just homesickness, but a failing marriage. Hopefully if you are both very open with each other and you are willing to let your wife travel at least once a year back home to be with her family, I am sure you will not suffer the same outcome. Make sure you both sit down and discuss this before you leave and be open with each other about your fears.
I am not very good at giving advise as I feel I need as much as I can myself, but I hope this has helped a little.
I wish you both all the best.
So hopefully, you can see that in my situation it isn't just homesickness, but a failing marriage. Hopefully if you are both very open with each other and you are willing to let your wife travel at least once a year back home to be with her family, I am sure you will not suffer the same outcome. Make sure you both sit down and discuss this before you leave and be open with each other about your fears.
I am not very good at giving advise as I feel I need as much as I can myself, but I hope this has helped a little.
I wish you both all the best.
My ex was never close to his family, and he could never understand my need to call my parents every week....He has always said that im the type of person that needs to be with their family, and i guess i tried my best to fill that void by starting my own here, He was lazy and to this day is unsupportive, and the lack of support from his side has always been a strain, especially when i know my folks would jump through hoops to be able to see their grandkids.
I am worried about is fitting in again, will I like it? Ive visited on a regular basis, but my family lives in the West Midlands and i had swore to myself i would never live their again...so if i do go i will live away from them, but atleast I will be in the same country as them.After being over here, 100 miles is nothing!!
Im still very torn, 17 years is a long time, and most of my growing up has been done here....i know my life in the UK will be a struggle too, people i knew have moved on, I will be a stranger again...
I worry about my decision on a daily basis...i only want to do whats right, but i just dont know anymore....i think we need to talk JAMZ....we are very much in the same boat my friend...
May 24th 2008, 4:43 pm
#48
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 93
Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
You could always just leave your crappy husband, but stay in the US and see what happens. You might like life there better and be a lot less homesick by yourself, or with a better partner.
17 years is a long time, and I'd place my bets that you're pretty settled and used to life where you are, you just need to get out of a horrible relationship.
17 years is a long time, and I'd place my bets that you're pretty settled and used to life where you are, you just need to get out of a horrible relationship.
May 27th 2008, 3:39 pm
#49
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: California, USA
Posts: 44
Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
You could always just leave your crappy husband, but stay in the US and see what happens. You might like life there better and be a lot less homesick by yourself, or with a better partner.
17 years is a long time, and I'd place my bets that you're pretty settled and used to life where you are, you just need to get out of a horrible relationship.
17 years is a long time, and I'd place my bets that you're pretty settled and used to life where you are, you just need to get out of a horrible relationship.
May 27th 2008, 3:40 pm
#50
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: California, USA
Posts: 44
Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Oh JAMZ...I think we were married to the same person!!!!
My ex was never close to his family, and he could never understand my need to call my parents every week....He has always said that im the type of person that needs to be with their family, and i guess i tried my best to fill that void by starting my own here, He was lazy and to this day is unsupportive, and the lack of support from his side has always been a strain, especially when i know my folks would jump through hoops to be able to see their grandkids.
I am worried about is fitting in again, will I like it? Ive visited on a regular basis, but my family lives in the West Midlands and i had swore to myself i would never live their again...so if i do go i will live away from them, but atleast I will be in the same country as them.After being over here, 100 miles is nothing!!
Im still very torn, 17 years is a long time, and most of my growing up has been done here....i know my life in the UK will be a struggle too, people i knew have moved on, I will be a stranger again...
I worry about my decision on a daily basis...i only want to do whats right, but i just dont know anymore....i think we need to talk JAMZ....we are very much in the same boat my friend...
My ex was never close to his family, and he could never understand my need to call my parents every week....He has always said that im the type of person that needs to be with their family, and i guess i tried my best to fill that void by starting my own here, He was lazy and to this day is unsupportive, and the lack of support from his side has always been a strain, especially when i know my folks would jump through hoops to be able to see their grandkids.
I am worried about is fitting in again, will I like it? Ive visited on a regular basis, but my family lives in the West Midlands and i had swore to myself i would never live their again...so if i do go i will live away from them, but atleast I will be in the same country as them.After being over here, 100 miles is nothing!!
Im still very torn, 17 years is a long time, and most of my growing up has been done here....i know my life in the UK will be a struggle too, people i knew have moved on, I will be a stranger again...
I worry about my decision on a daily basis...i only want to do whats right, but i just dont know anymore....i think we need to talk JAMZ....we are very much in the same boat my friend...
