BEVS

😘 We loves ya!

mikelincs

Thank you Bevs, and others

mikelincs

This could go in the 'smile' thread as well.
A town in Austria is to change it's name on January !st to celebrate Brexit, (Not the real reason). The town of F***ing is fed up with it's signs being stolen by visitors and they have been unable to make them theft proof. From Jan 1st it will be known as 'FUGGING'
https://au.news.yahoo.com/why-this-t...075123854.html

el collado kid

F*** em mike! her indoors had that bil and sil left her to clear the house arrange the funeral and take care of all the details.Only thing he asked was where is the money my wife replied what your share of the funeral costs, since the funeral (i wanted to punch him)All the family except them two were invited never seen them since good riddance to them.Oh yeah mike who loves ya baby!

Lynn R

I haven't been in touch with my late sister's husband since her funeral last year. He is a horrible man and I forced myself to try to be civil to him during their marriage and until the funeral had taken place, but never want to have anything more to do with him. After she was killed whilst on holiday, I flew to Portugal early the next morning and stayed there for a week to try to help him and their sons in all the arrangements they had to make, including getting her body repatriated to the UK (they had travelled without insurance - his idea). Less than 48 hours after her death he started having a go at me about our aunt's Will, claiming that my sister (or now that she was dead, her family) should be entitled to a larger share of the estate because my sister had done more to help her than my brother or me. I replied that I had no idea what was in my aunt's Will and had no intention of looking into it until our aunt actually died as I didn't think it appropriate. One of his main priorities during the days immediately following my sister's death was to make contact with her employer to set up a meeting for immediately after his return so that he could find out what would be due to him regarding her pension and any death in service benefits (this was well before the funeral could be arranged, and his financial situation is not such that he really needed the money). At the funeral, single roses were provided for family members to place on my sister's coffin as we filed out of the crematorium chapel - a nice touch, I thought. I walked out immediately behind him and he didn't break stride to place a rose on the coffin, but threw it in the general direction of the coffin and it fell on the floor. With difficulty I managed to restrain myself from slapping him senseless. At the reception after the funeral he got up to do a "DJ set" as he calls it, have you ever known anyone to want to act as a DJ at the funeral of a wife they saw killed in front of their eyes? I managed to say goodbye to him reasonably civilly as we made our escape and he said "I might come to visit you in Spain next year" - needless to say no invitation had been extended to him and nor will it be. Should he ever make contact to invite himself he will get both barrels and it will be no more than he deserves.

mikelincs

That's so horrible Lynn, At least my SIL did come to the funeral and yes, there were roses to put on the coffin for everyone. and he did stop to talk and wait till the flowers were brought round. I suspect it wasn't him personally but his wife who has cut me off, although they were very happy to come to visit us when we were in Spain and stay with us, came 3 or 4 times a year, often just her and the kids. Once back in the UK they only once managed to drive the 40 miles to visit, and that was because we had a computer we were getting rid of. Once we moved to the South Coast we rarely heard, and any phone calls were from us to them. No invitation to their daughters wedding, mind you she wasn't SIL's daughter but DIL's from a previous relationship. As they always say, friends you choose but relatives are just there.

Lynn R

Never a truer word spoken. When we first bought our house in Spain it was a holiday home and only a couple of weeks after the purchase was completed, during a phone conversation with my sister she asked if it would be OK for her and her family to stay there for their summer holiday - but let slip that her husband had already booked the flights (no waiting to ask if it was convenient or if we planned to use it ourselves on those dates). After we'd lived here permanently for a few years she announced that she and her husband were coming to visit us for a few days and again the flights had already been booked. I tolerated it for her sake, the first night after they arrived I cooked a meal for us all and the husband guzzled so much wine that he literally fell asleep with his head on the table, and was so hungover the next day that he ruined our plans to take them places and show them around as he was so unwell.

We'd lived 40 miles away from them in the UK and never once had they visited us there, and like yourselves all phone traffic either in the UK or after we moved to Spain was one way, I rang my sister but she never rang me. I used to visit the UK twice a year and would ring to ask if it was convenient for me to visit her, after I'd been in the house exactly one hour he would start dropping unmistakeable hints that it was time for me to leave. - and sometimes I wasn't offered so much as a cup of tea.

Sugarmooma

Now I'm really pissed off knowing so many of my BE friends also have "family" that are so selfish mean and vindictive.

I guess M's "family" are not exclusive about this. It is sad really.
In his case he just wanted to belong and to get to know his mother and his siblings. But I guess sometimes it's best all round not to know!
The strained and very rare contact we have with his mother is probably all but done now . Maybe that is a good thing..

Sorry if my post brought back bad memories to you guys x

Lion in Winter

That's the human race. Capable of the most noble behaviour and the most vile.

Jsmth321

And money can turn reasonably good people in vile monsters who will run over any family member in their way. Money is part of the issue with my in-law drama, not on my part or anything, but I have to clean up the mess BIL and MIL have caused in the way they treated my wife and still do, it's going on a 5 year saga now, and has really strained things. BIL is one of those type that puts on a I care façade, but behavior is louder than any words that can be spoken.

At lest my family is civil, sure they are distant, never call me and rarely communicate unless I initiate it, but there isn't any drama and everyone is civil with one another, and as far as I know no ill feelings, just not an emotionally close family.

Annetje

Tbh, even though I feel sorry for all of you, it does me good to know it's not just me who has trouble with family.
I thought it was just me and it had to be my fault even though I have no idea why.

BEVS

It didn't MooMa . Or at least I suppose it did but not in a bad way. In a mindful way.

I get this. I spent many many years struggling with the same. I have a real horror story about my own sister just before, during and after my Dad died a difficult death in 2009. Remember that I live on the other side of the world and she lived about 20 minutes away. I kept the faith about her all my adult life despite all . That we were sisters and may be different as people but ultimately we had each others backs if push came to shove & more especially when it came to our own parents as after all we loved our parents.

The malice and spite that came my way before, during & after February of 2009 was the time I finally understood that the sister that I had loved from day one actually did not exist at all. Just didn't. So I mourned the loss of two members of my family. One that died and one that never really existed.

Scamp

PM me your address please, I'd like to send you a Christmas card.

el collado kid

It took nearly half an hour to connect to the internet this morning,why is it only when you want to use some thing it does not work, why can't it not work when you are not using things.This would be far betterand then when you use it, it works yeah sorted!

macliam

One impact of us staying on in Portugal is that SWMBOs car in the UK can't be taxed (because it also needs an MOT and the tax notification is by snail-mail only). So we decided to declare it off road (SORN).... Except, you need to quote the V5 identification number to do that online - and we don't have it here.... No option to use the reg number (also supplied by the DVLA), that would be too obvious.

So SWMBO wrote online to the DVLA, explaining we are not in the UK and asking for advice. After 2 days the reply comes back, ignoring what had been written and **helpfully** suggesting we phone their callcenter on a UK non-geographic number... yeah right, wait in a queue in an international call, obvious really!

So she then asked what information would be required, so she could limit the time neeed on the call. After 2 days the reply came back (you guessed it) ignoring what had been written and suggesting she call the callcenter and they **might** be able to help SORN the car. What point an online enquiry service? Chocolate teapots come to mind!! Oh, there was a rider on this second answer...... **Due to COVID** the callcenter is very busy so wait times are extended!!

4 times so far...... no call less than 5 minutes and not a sniff of an answer. Looks like we'll be sorting it out on return to the UK, when they attempt to fine her for not taxing her car