strangemother

OK, i know this isn't exactly scientific, but i was just curious what people's experiences were with their Spanish neighbours? Yes, i know there are good and bad everywhere, but i'm just looking for experiences from all angles.

Right here now where i live in the UK i'm having a hard time with one neighbour, who is remaining anonymous, no idea who they are, but keeps leaving piles of dog poo on the back of my vechicles, and this morning stole my council rubbish bins from outside my house..lots of silly petty things. I'm not sure what their problem with me is as i'm a very quiet neighbour who keeps myself to myself, but if they actually knocked on my door and told me what the issue was i'd be more than willing to fix it, whether that be moving my car further up the road, moving my bins, cleaning my windows more often, whatever it is that has got their goat, i have no idea!

This is a sweeping generalisation, but i find the Spanish to be much more vocal in this way?

Before anyone says anything, no i'm not moving simply to get away from my neighbours - i could do that here, lol, and no i'm not expecting everything to be all friendliness and light when i move either

EllisG

I live on a beach complex and for ten months of the year my Spanish neighbours are just perfect.

Then comes July and August and they move in

JLFS

Mine are just like neighbours thatcan be found all over Spain and UK.

Theres a fat one,
And a skinny one,
and a daft one,
and a clever one,

and they all live in little boxes little boxes all the same,

thers a grumpy one,
and a hairy one
and a smelly one,
and a fairy one,


and they all live in little boxes little boxes all the same,

Theres a lazy one,
and a dozy one,
and a shitty one
and a nosy one

and they all live in little boxes little boxes all the same,
and they all live in little boxes little boxes all the same,

cricketman

My immediate neighbours are very quiet, only exchange the odd "Hola, Que tal"

In the pueblo in general I find everyone incredibly friendly, especially if you have a child. When we go out everyone makes a fuss of our little boy and even ask to hold him. You do get a lot of unwanted advice, but I just nod and say we'll do that next time as its well meant

My no.1 reason for living in Spain is because people are so friendly (no.2 = food, no.3 = weather).

In London I felt invisible. I remember the day I moved to Barcelona and people actually were actually looking at me in the face as I walked down the street and I got a few smiles from some nice girls It was like being born again!

strangemother

funny responses sense of humour alive and well on this forum.

I too like it when you walk down a street and people actually acknowledge you rather than go to efforts to totally avoid eye contact. I also like it that in general my daughter isn't seen as a parasite. Silly little things which show some humanity can make all the difference.

jackytoo

Good and bad in both countries, friendly and not so friendly. Daft to say one is better than the other.

cricketman

Absolutely, makes all the difference to me

Another thing is we can take our 4 month year old everywhere in Spain, even relatively upmarket restaurants. The owners are always welcoming and noone bats an eyelid when he is being breastfed

We even went to the local taxi rank and asked if they had a car seat so we could take a taxi to the airport and one of the guys put one he uses for his daughter

I know I go on and on about how great Spain is, but this is the greatest difference. The economy may be screwed but society and people are not.

There is a big BUT. Obviously you need to be able to communicate with people in order to relate to them. I know British people who say Andalucians are incredibly rude. These are also people who dont speak a word of Spanish so I can only assume that is the reason

adra04778

Hi

My Spanish neigbours are really ok, but at first it wasn't so easy, they were suspicious of foriegners and it was only my continual hola and smile that broke the barrier, but now they treat me like family, the old lady next door says i am like a daughter to her and crys when I go to the UK, my other close neigbour is a friend, we go out together all the time and spend a lot of time together with her family, we argue continually, but never fall out. The other people in the village are all older but are good with us, they bring food to us all the time and shout up to us as they wander past to the local bar, so all in all good people.
As for your neigbours in the UK, I would suggest ignoring it and hope they get fed up, giving them attention made just be what they want and make things worse.

avocados

Well, if you look out of place, of course they stare at you!! the Spanish are very nosey!

Yes, they are FRIENDLY, but the general rule is that they are never your FRIEND. That's not a race issue, it's normal neighbourly behaviour. It's just the way it is. You need to get on with them, but to keep sufficient distance so that you are not shy of making a complaint.

Since everything gets compared to the UK..........in UK a chat with my neighbours was generally warm and genuine. Here in España, the chat is more out of necessity, to assertain one's credentials, so to speak.

Another way to look at it, if you are shy, submissive and passive the Spanish will adore you, because they can control everything.
On the otherhand, if you are assertive and demanding and don't tolerate BS, they will hate you and suddenly they are not your "friend" anymore.

I prefer the latter, adopting a direct and "no fake" approach. My OH is the former, so we do a good double act!!! lol

cricketman

I wonder what their opinion of you is?

steviedeluxe

It's hard to generalise based on just the people you know. I normally found the opposite to the above, but maybe that's because I worked in a big city. I've found Spanish people, on average, are more blunt in their opinions and expect others to be the same (but I'm sure there are plenty of introverts too). In fact I've read on many forums that the English are seen as aloof and arrogant whereas in many cases they are just diffident or uncomfortable with the language.

As to my immediate neighbours (I lived in 4 seperate areas of Madrid) they did tend to be fairly quiet and rarely made contact - almost as bad (good?) as London.

JLFS

Out and about we see a lot of neighbours and their "friends".

I know men who do the rounds of tapas with the same group day in day out, are they friends, they dont seem to be, they know a bit about each other, but apart from the tapa route, they do not do anything else together.

My marida knows women who play cards together every afternoon, but they never call or see eachother out of arranged hours.

If one does not turn up for some reason, she would never phone one of the other women to let them know, in fact I bet that they dont even have eachothers phone numbers.

It is the same with school mums, they may go for a coffee, but would never arranage an outing together with their respective children.

in Coruna mums take thier kids to the play area every day weather permitting, the mums sit together making small talk and then home.

That is how Spanish people are with eachother, I dont know how it is with ecpats, but I suppose it is the same, lots of "conocidos/as but not what would be classed as friends.

My wife has friends from the UK, they speak all the time, they plan trips together, I know that when ever the landline rings, it is for her.

They have been friends since school or first jobs etc, they go to New york together, concerts in the UK together, they are going to see Il divo in Madrid together...........

I can honestly say that out of all my many spanish family members there is not one of them who have a friendship like this, dispite living in the same place for all their lives and being of a similar age to my wife.

Rosemary

My neighbours are wonderful, they are friendly, warm, inclusive and very supportive. It is difficult to pop to the local shops without having to stop to pass the time of day with loads of people. They all always ask how things are with my OH etc. During our early conversations with them they wanted to know where we had lived, how many children and how many grandchildren we have. What we had worked at was irrelevant, how much money we might have was irrelevant. The main thing appeared to be that we were open and friendly yet quite private, quiet people.

There were a few neighbours who did not want to speak and we have worked out since that they thought that we were going to do up the house and sell it. After proving that this is not the case because we are still here they now speak.

One family in particular I owe a great deal to because they told me that we are part of their family and they gave me more support during my OH´s life threatening operations than I could ever envisage anyone else giving.

I do not know whether our experiences are due to the fact that we live in an ordinary small working town but whatever it is we have the best neighbours that we have ever had.

Rosemary

Fredbargate

Pete Seeger 1963

JLFS

This post of mine, is in no way contradicting your experience in you village, I just want to say that for the record.

It has just reminded me of one of my pet hates.

Quite a few Spanish people will use the word "familia" when referring to people they hardly know, ususally when they are trying to sell you something or on the make.
I usually tell them that we are not related, it sort of throws them abit.

You will be greeted with "Hola familia" whenever the cretin in question sees you, I would put it on a par with an English salesman saying "trust me".

It is a ploy to gain your confidence, you feel as though you are getting special consideration, they are only following the sales manual to the letter.

Another explanation for familia, is that you are just a euro sign to them and they dont even remember your name.