Cornish maid

I've spent most of the day with MIL. She had to have her Jack Russell put down today.

She has had him since he was a puppy, and got him just after FIL died 14 years ago. She is shattered. He had heart failure.

I know that, for the non dog lovers on here, it may seem a little over the top, but he became her life after FIL died. Now she feels very empty.

I reminded her this afternoon that she has got Spain to look forward to, but of course it's not really what she wants to hear just at the moment.

Very sad

squelch

How awful for her, as an animal lover my heart goes out to her, when an animal dies its like losing a member of the family, hugs and best wishes sent your way

Lionda

Of course she is upset, he was a member of the family and a very important member at that! There will be a huge gap in her life now and that is understandable. Love to your MIL xx

derbyflan

I'm very sorry to hear that. As a lifelong pet owner, I can empathise how incredibly difficult it is to say goodbye.

With hugs.

xx

jandy44

I,m very sorry to hear about your MIL,S loss, they are a part of the family ,I will be beside myself when its George,s turn.It will leave a big empty space in your Mil,s life , very sad.........please show her this

TELLYADDICT1

Oh no! I am so sorry, Non Dog Lovers just don't get it. A dreadful loss for the family. My condolences.

TA

jjh

My darling got run over last December and although her bones healed and she recovered well, we had to have her put to sleep in the January as she had nerve damage and couldn't walk.

I found this poem and it made me feel so much better, although I still miss her madly.

I am so sorry for your friend's loss.

JJ

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


© Karen Clouston

mikelincs

The loss of a pet like that is so sad, they do become part of the family, and the loss of one is like the loss of a family member, especially when they have been the only permanent companion for years. Non dog or pet people may well scoff, but it is very true.

Ralphy Boy

Im so sorry to hear of your sad news. Being a dog lover myself and having 3 of them, the day you let them go is the day I most fear.

Just remember that im sure your dog had the best life in the world and they loved you for giving them that.

sarahchirles

Sorry to hear that xxx

Gone to puppy heaven will be chasing rabbits now. xx

brisca

I'm really sorry to hear about your MIL's Jack Russell, Sally

It's one of the hardest decisions we ever face as dog lovers, to have our beloved pet put to sleep.
The grief your MIL is feeling is very real (as I'm sure you appreciate) and she has to go through a grieving process.
This may also be exacerbated by the connection the dog had to your FIL's passing, so no doubt your MIL's emotions will be all over the place.
I'm sure she was very pleaseed to have your company and support today.

Hopefully she has some photos of her boy, that in time will give her some comfort - along with the knowledge that he had a really good and happy life, and was loved to bits.

The poem that jjh posted is really beautiful, and hopefully that will also provide some comfort for your MIL.
We had to have our dog put to sleep 7 years ago, but tears still well up when I think about that day.
As you say, non dog lovers won't be able to understand - but our pets provide so much unconditional love, and they truly are part of the family.

He sounds like he was a lucky and happy dog, and now he's at peace and not suffering. Bless him.

Sending good thoughts to you and your MIL.
Love Sam x

leighbloke

Firstly Cornish maid, I sincerely hope your MIL gets over this ASAP.

However, though I've recently learned a little of how difficult it is to lose a pet, is this all not a bit OTT? It's not even Cornish maid's dog!!!!
What would the reaction be if it was someones husband or child? I do think we need to hold back on the communal grief over a dog, in case something serious happens - we'd have to all throw ourselves in the pyre to regain perspective??

brisca

Hiya leighbloke,

Thank you for phrasing your question a little less bluntly than you did on the "Saying it how it is" thread; and I'm glad you're trying to appreciate what people's pets mean to them - even though you don't have one.
Credit to you for that

I don't think that anyone is trying to make a comparison between a dog and a person (although for a lot of dog lovers, there's not much difference in how we feel)
As you haven't got a dog, you're not able to appreciate why we feel like that about our dogs - but no-one is asking you to.

As you can see from mikelincs' thread about his friend who is sadly terminally ill, several people have expressed their sadness and concern.
I am aware of two former BE members who have died, and the response to the news has been met with great compassion from people on the forum.

So, it's not a question of what's more important - a human or an animal life. It's just that like minded people want to share their concern and offer support to fellow animal lovers.
Of course, you don't have to read or contribute to the animal related threads, you know

anabella

I'm sorry to hear that, I bet she is heart broken .. Is sounds like she is on her own now and loneliness is hard to endure, maybe she should get another one.. not that it'd replace the one she had for so long, of course, but it'd give her some company..

Cornish maid

[QUOTE=anabella;5251250]I'm sorry to hear that, I bet she is heart broken .. Is sounds like she is on her own now and loneliness is hard to endure, maybe she should get another one.. not that it'd replace the one she had for so long, of course, but it'd give her some company..[/QUOTE]

Firstly, can I thank ALL like minded people who have sent their good wishes?

A couple of points: Sam, you hit the nail on the head when you referred to the dog being intrinsically linked to my father in law's death. The little dog gave my MIL something to focus on and a reason to carry on after FIL died. It had been a very traumatic time for her and she was completely wrecked emotionally at that time. Nicky gave her a channel for her love. She is now very much back to that emotional state again, which is very difficult for this DIL to see, as I love her to bits.

Anabella, MIL is now nearly 82 and just is too old to take on the resonsibility of owning another dog. Had she been younger then, yes, that would have been the road to follow

Leighbloke I am almost at a loss for words. No, it wasn't even my dog. But he certainly was a part of our family. He had been that for 14 years for God's sake! What am I supposed to do, just shrug my shoulders? I'm afraid that is something I would leave to the likes of you.
As for the 'communal grief' being 'OTT', I find it very sad that you think this is so. Not in one word was I insinuating that MIL's dog was more important than a human, I was merely sharing with the people on here whom I am proud to call my friends, the sad and emotional day I had had. The replies I have had (apart from yours, of course) indicates just how many people can empathise with our family.
I certainly didn't expect every member to reply, least of all a person who doesn't understand the attachment us humans have with pets! In fact I even made a reference to that fact. Perhaps you should, after reading my post, have shrugged you shoulders, shaken your head at the unneccessary outpourings from us lesser mortals and moved on. It would have been the less hurtful thing to do.