Re: Struggling to settle
 

There's another point to bear in mind. I have a hypothesis that language works on fuzzy logic and best guess techniques.

Your brain considers what you have heard & said thus far in a conversation, then makes an intelligent guess as to the direction it will take. It then primes you with what to expect, based on the vocabulary you have acquired so far. If the vocab store is pretty bare, it makes that process much harder.

This would explain why verbal jokes like puns and others that misdirect the brain are so effective.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Bil is very perceptive and the only observation I can add is that there will always be people who will pretend to not understand you so dont bother with them.

When you make a true connection with someone they and you will make an extra effort at understanding.

I was amused by the though of Bill wrestling with an eclesiastical person then realised he was refering to the past tense ;)

Re: Struggling to settle
 

I don't live in Spain but just wanted to add that the idea of speaking to each other at home in Spanish is a great idea. I have family in Spain who have 4 kids. The older two are at school now and are fluent. So that the younger two can pick up the language before they start school (both parents are English speaking) the family only talk in Spanish to each other for 1-2 hours every evening. This has also helped the mum who doesn't get to go out and mix much with the locals as she is stuck at home with two very small ones, and they are in rural Spain so it make socialising a little difficult for her.

Oh and welcome to BE, I hope you enjoy using the site.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Thank you.

Amusingly, I got caught in a misunderstanding between sinners and fishermen.

I was talking to a neighbour when a small white van drew up, and she announced it was the 'pecador'. I was standing there wondering what the hell a sinner was doing driving around in a van, when the penny dropped, and I realised I was the victim of the Andaluz dropped 's'.

I immediately started to wonder if they got any in the confessional saying 'yo, pescador'.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

I tried a bit too hard when I first came to Spain, having already been to lessons in the UK, and at some stage I got to overload and stopped bothering to try and be fluent. The miracle happened after I stopped trying to learn the language, I suddenly found that I could speak it and understand at a decent level. It seemed to happen overnight.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

You know, that's quite an astute observation.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Manamama, I am sure that it will get easier. I agree with so much of what other posters have said. I have been very lucky to make some very good friends here and they have all been very patient with me. My closest friend and I see each other maybe 5 days out of 7 and yes, sometimes our conversations take a lot longer than they would if I were Spanish, but we get there! I do feel as if I can discuss anything with her, I don't have to hold back and I feel as close to her as I do to some of my friends in England. If you don't know the exact translation for something you want to say, don't be afraid to find other, sometimes longwinded, ways of saying it. And then when your friends/neighbours realise what you are trying to say, they'll help you learn the right vocab. Have you tried suggesting to a couple of the other Mums that you meet up for coffee? Although you are being very friendly with them when you see them, unless you make the first move, they might not realise that you'd like to take things to the next level. Also is there anything which you could join/take part in - for example here I have helped out at parties for the local children's home. I didn't understand everything which everyone else said but it really didn't matter.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

You have the best tutors there, your children ! (IMO)
I find learning from our grandchild is much easier as you can closely watch how they form the words & they will repeat themselves slowly as many times as you wish.

Brian

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Baby steps....
I had a good experience today while trying to return a dust extractor (vacuum cleaner to the uninitiated) to a ferreteria.
Now my Spanish is woeful but the shop assistants and I engaged in a discussion as to what the problem could be, eventually one of the assistants 'switched on' his English and spoke extremely well.

I was flattered that they put up with my mispronunciation and mime for so long. This is how I gauge my progress in Spanish, the amount of time I am tolerated.

The most important thing is to try, be wrong and be thick skinned enough to not be put off when a conversation is finished by a discourteous wave of the hand and a turned shoulder.

Poco a poco.

Ste.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Yep.

I would say that the single best aid in the language is a small list of idiomatic expressions.

We were doing Jan's papers at the police office in Cadiz, we had got there early and the guy doing it was a tad diffident. I said to him that I was surprised to find the office so quiet as my neighbour had said ' get there early, the queues are horrendous'. He shrugged, and gestured at the empty office, and I said 'Si, aqui no hay quatro gatos' an idiom for 'there's no-one here'.

Immediately his face lit up, he laughed and from that moment he was a different person, and very friendly.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Hi Manama,
I understand where you are coming from. It is very difficult at the beginning and sometimes the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming. In the UK we were used to confiding in our closest girlfriends, having the support of close family and, when all else failed , a little retail therapy usually did the trick. Suddenly it all changes and it is difficult to settle.
I would advocate against talking Spanish in the house. Your children have to keep up their English and you are the only ones who can do that for them. It will help them in the future and that is something positive you can do for them.
The problem is really yours and you have to find a solution. You will feel so good when you manage to master the language, and even better knowing that you have done it on your own.
I would suggest that for the summer months while the kids are off school just enjoy the holidays, chill, enjoy your children.
When they go back to school then you should start doing something.
I don't know exactly where you are in Asturias so I have just looked at general Asturias things. You will be able to decide.
1. http://www.escueladeturismo.es/
The Tourism College in Oviedo
Most places of learning have noticeboards. Put a notice up saying that you are looking for exchange classes - half an hour in English, half an hour in Spanish - no money changes hands. I am sure that there will be lots of people who want to learn English and would be happy with this arrangement

2. http://www.mundidiomas.com/
These guys do courses in English. Again, as in the college, you could put a card up on their noticeboard looking for exchange classes.

3. http://www.11811.es/actividades_prov...incia=Asturias
Cookery courses in Asturias that you could do. Cookery is a practical subject, you don't need too much of the language but the interaction with fellow pupils would be invaluable. If you don't like cookery then maybe photography or painting - anything practical that you could understand through seeing.

4. Voluntary teaching at your kids school. You could get in touch with the PTA (APA in Spanish) and offer your services for after school activities.

It is a long road but you can get there.
Best of luck and enjoy the journey.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Manamama,

In my opinon this is by far the best advice.

I don`t want to bore to death the people who know me (sorry guys) but I`m going to.

My Dad is from Galicia. He never, ever spoke spanish to me at home (in England) when I was a child. We visited Spain every year for the whole month of August and I learnt spanish, over the years, by playing out with my friends, then going to discos as a teenager then by having boyfriends. :sneaky:

All the spanish that I know is self-taught by being amongst others. I can read it, speak and write it. But I am NOT grammatically fluent. I can hold long conversations but I will bet most of it is in `pidgeon spanish` - but hey, nobody cares.

I don`t go to Spain often now so I really do forget (cos I`m old now) but I use sign language when I get stuck and so do they.

Who cares if you don`t say it right? Nobody. As long as they get the gist of it. You will pick up more and more. It won`t happen overnight - my Dad has been in England now for 48 years and he still cocks up with the odd word and pronunciation - and he is a retired-teacher here!

Stick at it petal. When you feel p*ssed off then come on here! :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Re: Struggling to settle
 

:wub: Nice post Missus.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

I think that's a bit short even for someone with a Spanish spouse. EOI is six levels. Each level takes one year if you go two days a week, or half a year if you go four days a week. At the end of level four you should be a good intermediate speaker but definitely not fluent, but I guess this goes back to what each person's idea of fluency is.Sounds like a case of the blind leading the blind. Personally I would never consider talking to my kids in Spanish, I want them to learn English.

Re: Struggling to settle
 

Thanks :wub: (but don`t ruin my reputation as a bolshi-cow - and don`t tempt me to hijack either :rofl:) :wub: