My local post office seem to be very lax based on others experiences.........

When the postlady couldnt get a large package into our doorstep letterbox she left it at the landlord's parents home in the next street, leaving me a message in the box telling me.
she also rings the doorbell if I leave the porch light on after the BH has gone to work.

when the BH's passport arrived from the UK, I went to collect it and only had to show my NIE which has the house address on it.

but then I am there every couple of weeks sending things, so they know me.

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Suely you've missed the point pocaloca. The postman seemed quite happy to hand it over to anyone who answered the door - whether they were estranged or not.

Because we live in the Campo, we don't have a postal address, so we have an apartado (post office box). The box is in hubby's name only (it costs double to have 2 names on it). But I have a key.

Any post addressed to the box is tossed into the box (regardless of what name is on it). When anything arrives that needs a signature, they normally let either of us pick it up regardless of who it is addressed to. Sometimes things arrive that not specifically addressed to either of us (e.g., addressed in our business name or mistakenly put in out box), and we have no trouble with those either.

But there are occasional days when the person you get at the counter is in a bad mood or there is a long queue (with only one stressed out attendant), so she'll refuse to hand over registered mail or packages if your ID doesn't match the addressee. But 90% of the time, they don't give it it second thought.

If they refuse, I just come back later and get someone else. Never fails.

Our post office lot seem to be in a permanently bad mood then, going by your experiences.
If I get one part of the address wrong or misspelt, even though there are no other people in our town with our name, no other businesses with our name, I can show ID in everything but if one little part is wrong then they send it back.
Our complex had a name but the road entering it didnt. Then the town hall decided to name the road. Any post that arrived the day after the new name was put up was not posted. It took some people weeks to figure out why they werent getting their post!

Our Post Office handed my friend´s husband´s parking fine to her without any problem. Mind you the queue is usually 45 mins long. Everything always has to take ages and don´t get me started about the bank queues and people sitting on your shoulder listening to your business.