Overcome with sadness
 

Hi,
I was just driving to the shop's when all of a sudden i started crying like an idiot, With this overcome feeling of sadness about moving and thinking what the hell am i doing. :(

I then thought why was i feeling so emotional and it was not for missing family or friends or i will miss the uk.

It was more of feeling scared about the unknown and if it is the right decision.
I know with us moving it is the right thing to do, but i cant shift this feeling.

I have been so excited and happy but since i blubbed like a newborn i have this feeling of dread.

Has anyone else ever felt like this?

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Only the last time I visited the UK and bought a round of drinks :scared:

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Still the same pub prices and the measures are crap.


Thing is if i dont pull myself together i will end up needing a years supply of prozac :(


I just can not shake this feeling of dread.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Moving to a new country is a journey into the unknown. You can ask all the questions you like and receive lots of tips and advice but it is still a journey into the unknown. You have memories and family and friends you are leaving behind and this in itself has to be an emotional experience. I may even feel the same when we finally get a moving date. Have a good cry and then think about what a wonderful experience you are heading for.....be positive (I'm sure you are) and dry your tears, stick on some fresh slap ;) and think of me still stressing and wondering just what I have put in all those taped up boxes which have been packed since October and may not be opened until March :eek:

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

You will be ok when you get here, you just have to remember that you have to adapt to the Spanish way, you will certainly not change them to the English way.
A lot of Brits dont like the mañana way of life, they cant adapt to it, expect things too quick and go back, just relax and enjoy it. http://bestsmileys.com/cool/5.gif

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi there,

Yes definitely. I keep swinging from feeling very excited to very anxious, to very sad, and back again. Sometimes I think, Oh my God, I must be mad, I really don't know if it will all work out. Maybe I will end up very poor,and miles away from friends and family etc. Sometimes I'm quite elated, planning building work, and imagining what my new life will be like. In reality I know that it will be somewhare in the middle. I think that what we are going through, and I'm pretty sure we are not the only ones, is simply a grieving process. A process of giving up aspects of an old life, so we can fully embrace the new. However you look at it, moving to another country/culture, involves huge changes, and even if most of them are positive changes, they don't happen without a certain amount of fear and doubt about whether or not we are doing the right thing, and sadness for the people and places we are leaving behind. What we can't see at the moment are all the people and places that we will bond with in Spain, and the waiting period between one and the other doesn't help either. I just want to get on and do it.

Are your family having similar feelings? ;)

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I have to say I didnt ever feel like you are feeling right now. I was just desperate and excited for us to start our new lives over here in Spain. Its a big move for you, we dont have any children so it was easier for us to up sticks and come here. But go for it girl and make a good life for you and your family. Good luck with the move :)

Sam

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I bawled my eyes out when I left my old house and town but soon got over it. My heart will always be at home but my head is over here now.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

HI,
Thanks for all your kind word's.

Thing that is really strange i am a very strong person and normally my attitude is "oh well what will be will be"
But this feeling is so unexpected, as for the family i really am not bothered as i will still see and speak to them as much as i do now.

Just called hubby and he said he had the same feeling's but not upset about going more adventure and the positive things that can come out of this.
Hubby has said i have been very snappy all over the xmas season and everyone has noticed this :( (i did not though ha ha) and he said maybe i needed this cry to get it out of me.

I will probably be totally happy tomorrow (hope so) I know i am closing a chapter in my life and starting a new but this sickness in the pit of my tummy is over whelming and i have never felt it before.

Well i will stop wallowing in my own self pity and think a start to a whole new life. :)

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Do you think you'd be happier if you never tried it out and lived the rest of your life wondering what it would have been like to live in Spain?.. that's your answer..

And we are here for you as you well know..

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

HI Anabella,
Hope you are getting on great?
I think i am having a scatty mad moment, i would never not go because of this feeling and i know i have to make the most of every single day. And i plan to, It is just a feeling of the unknown and i know i will over come it. I am hoping by tomorrow :D

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I got moments like that before I left England.. I would just look at the stunning countryside and I would start crying.. I just knew I was really going to miss it..

I live in an amazing place in the Rocky Mountains, it is really beautiful.. but guess what.. I miss the British countryside (not to mention other things like M & S).. We just can't have everything..

I am sure you have thought of everything good and bad about both where you are and where you are going and you are making the right move.. You won't be far from home and you could always go back if the new setting/lifestyle doesn't meet your expectations..

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

blimey, I do remember how you feel, we left UK Feb just gone and about 4 months before we left I was feeling really scared, had panic attacks and thought "is this going to spain really worth it" BUT, the moment the house in uk was sold, furniture sent out to spain and my partner and I boarded the plane I felt a lot better. My brother and sister in law were at airport to greet us with a big banner saying welcome to spain, we went back to our house and celebrated with champagne, we have not looked back since.
we are taking spanish lessons (hard but we persevere) and made some friends, and we are really enjoying it here in spain so...
dont worry things have a way of slotting in place, you wll make friends and you will have more visitors fm Uk than enough, enjoy and good luck

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I had an emotional moment Christmas Day, watching my Grandaughter 19months old opening her pressies and me thinking ' if all goes to plan we will be in Spain next year and won't see her Christmas' but my daughter soon put me back on track by saying they'd be over there with us for Christmas and I can't get rid of them that easy:)

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

You will be fine, the one good thing is you are only a couple of hours away from family if the urge gets you to go home and see anyone. It is nerve racking and if you keep yourself busy it helps. I'm only up the road when I'm here so you can always pm me if you need someone close to help. Although I may be away more next year. But there are a few of us in the area on here if you need to meet up for a coffee. I came here without knowing anyone or speaking spanish. I drove down here on my todd and had never been here before, armed with a baseball bat and first aid kit in case I got car jacked....the first aid kit was in case I hit the wrong person....:D

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Yes, particularly sitting on the plane waiting for it to take off, still wondering if we had done the right thing.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi,
Well today i have a brighter out look on things. and i feel good, i think i needed a good night sleep as i have not been sleeping very well, i have had that sleep and feel a lot better.

Thanks everyone for sharing your experience's and the words of great wisdom
Thanks Again :)

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

As someone who has recently made the move, I've only felt like crying when I came back here for a few weeks just now. Its great to see family and friends again, but the weathers been appalling, three cups of coffee and three croissaents cost me £15.50 yesterday, beer and food now seems ridiculously expensive and I've got used to seeing drunks rolling around the streets again.

Don't expect the change to be easy, there will be many challenges, but its worth it in the end!

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi

I get like that sometimes, especially as we have still not sold our house it has been eight months now I feel in limbo. We live in a nice semi rural village and I love the countryside, kids love school etc But I remember why we are doing it in the first place and look forward what hopefully Spain has to offer us which we cannott have here , we went looking at a few properties this summer and areas we liked, and we honestly felt sad to come home. I love a lot about the UK, it will always be home, but I see Spain as an adventure and do not rule out coming back to the UK, so it does not seem as final. Life is about choices and most of us on this site choose to follow our dreams rather than wonder what if.
Good luck, have a great New Year and keep us posted when you arrive.


Helen

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I had the opposite emotion. I didn't get upset about leaving the UK, or even about leaving family and friends. I kept waiting for it to kick in - and for the floodgates to open. But they didn't - and that was more distressing for me.
Within 2 days of moving here... I wondered if I'd done the right thing. We arrived with only temporary accomodation sorted out... but we found our perfect home on Day 2 and haven't looked back! It was the people around me who were more emotional about the change.
Everyone reacts in different ways to such an upheaval, and some will find it harder than others. The important thing is how you deal with it. You sound absolutely on the right track. You've got people here to support you... to provide helpful advice... even to give "cuddles" when you need it!
You'll be fine hon! Just think of all the benefits... and you'll be right on track.
Hugs, Elle xx
PS. I went to the UK for Xmas - and obviously seeing friends and family was great - but I was counting the days until I could get back to what is now very much home.

Feliz ano nuevo chica!

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Just remember If your feeling homesick you can book a cheap flight and go home for the weekend, your only 25 euros (Madrid-East Midlands) and two hours away. Trust me it won't take too many before you'll be glad you moved. I didn't quite understand why the Brits were so mad about moving to Spain (we came via Germany from Canada) till I spent a few days in Nottingham over Christmas. Well it was nice understanding everything (actually kind of amusing being asked where we where from) but the weather, oh my god horrible! Grey overcast wet and cold. Totally depressing, I much prefer opening the curtains in the morning and seeing sun shine. Trust me a few weekends back home should convince you of the advantages of life in the Sun.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I was terrified for weeks before we came, and on the plane coming, we had no where to go. We had two suite cases and a one nights hotel booking.
I was scared so scared i could hardly talk I held on to my other half like I was a little girl.
But 10 months down the line I wonder what all the fuss was about, we came back a few weeks a go and well, the experience well, why do we now call Spain home the list would go on endlessly.
I hope you have as much fun and Joy as we do.
Today the sun is shinning.
Tonight we are spending with a group of Spanish friends.
We have been accepted into a society that was alien to us when we arrived , we have been welcomed with open arms and this is now our home.
Good luck
your not that far from us
Have a good time
and enjoy every minute

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Exactly what we found when we were there earlier this month, and everyone is all huddled up in dreary depressing coloured clothes, with depressing weather. Some friends are now on their way back from the UK by car, spoke to them today, and they found exactly what we had, they wer glad to see friends, but can't wait to get back here, especially after we told them people are sitting on their trerraces in the sun in bikinis today:scared:

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi,
This morning i thought the flood gates had gone, how very wrong was i.

We cancelled our new years eve party only to find most still think they are coming so i am running around like a t-t and getting stuff ready.

But i do not feel happy one bit, i am looking forward to going and WANT to go and can not wait.
But there is so many ppl here tonight i want to strangle. the bunch of gits who said we would never do it. and the one's who think we are being silly and the other's who think i am being selfish.

All i can say is it is going to be a bloody sorry affair in my house tonight :mad:

I am going to have to be all smiles and grace when all i want to do is scream "i dont want any of you shi-ty ppl in my house":(

But i will grin and bare it god give me hope.

Hubby is already in a mood with me and his not even home from work. i have been ringing him all day moaning and piss-d of.

Anyway guys have a fab night and enjoy and be good :)

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

All you need to do to get through the night is to think of where and how you will be celebrating new years eve next year. We are all new on this complex here in Spain and all the neighbours are having a big party tonight to celebrate. Happy new year and enjoy your new life :beer:

Sam

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

God how i wish i was there :D

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Loads of fireworks last night, seemed to start at about 10 to midnight and go on till about half past, plenty of noisy ones.
Anyway Happy New Year, next year in Spain

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

HI,
Well i am glad you have a had a lovely time.

To be fair there was more fireworks last night than at bonfire night.

And i hope you have a fab 2007

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Oh dear, I have to say it........yawn.......yawn........yawn.........yawn ......and yet,........Yawn again.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

??? It's late - go to bed!!!

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

I'd been planning my escape for over a year and was fine - really excited, could hardly contain it. House sold, furniture sold, everything else packed and shipped.....I was so organised. My last night in the UK before leaving for Canada I bawled like a 3 year old. I was suddenly so scared! My daughter rang to say goodbye (she's stayed in the UK, as she's all grown up with her own family), and she asked if I was scared. When I said yes, I was, she said "You know, Mum, it is allowed. This is a huge step for you, you're bound to be" So we cried together and said our farewells, but I felt so much better, and I kept that thought in my head - it's OK to be scared. It's natural, but don't let it overwhelm you. Here I am, three years on, living in Canada, enjoying it, still missing my daughter, but she's only a plane ride away..........:D
Good Luck - you can do it....

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi There,
I read your posts and would like to offer my support and encouragement
Sounds that some of the people at your party were not supportive .
Take it as a lesson learnt and focus on taking care of yourself.
People can say what they like, it is your life and happiness and not theirs.
Have adventure with self discovery and may 2007 be a good year for you
and your family.
Best Wishes,
Yoong

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Maybe the festive holidays have took it's toll on you with all that yawning

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Just a thought.......are you menopausal maybe?

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi,
Sorry not yet i was going to ask the same with all that yawning you was doing?
But i thought it would be rude of me to make such a hasty comment with you being new!! :rolleyes:

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

No rudeness intended by me either, Miss Naughty. As the Menopause, (not a 'no' 'no' word anymore), can, they say, relate to lots of different emotions for us girls, I did wonder if you............... Anyway, yawn, yawn. Yes, you were right. Lots of festivities over the past few weeks, and hardly enough time to participate in them all.

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Aw mate !!!!! I was like that babe.......cry...well BLUB at the most random times.....people were saying "are you sure you are doing the right thing....?" cos I'd get sooooo upset seeing friends before we left.

Anyway.....I think it's so normal....what you are doing is a life changing step. But one that isn't final.....remember that......just go with the flow.

We have been out here since June 1st....have two small children...2 and 3 years old....and can honestly say....this is our home ! We love it, love the way of life, people, climate (even now), scenery, beaches.....

Went back to UK for 2 weeks over Christmas and New Year...couldn't wait to get back ! Loved seeing family and friends but felt that this was our home.

My view is that if you have had serious thoughts about moving to Spain, if you don't then you may well regret it if you don't give it ago.

Good luck chick......PM me if you want to chat. It's not long before you move is it ?

Take care xxx

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Hi,

We are moving over in March and at the moment have to say not cried at all yet. Getting lots of butterflies though. Family members being pretty laid back about it all after initial doubts, mind you they are used to us moving away they live Nottingham we are Wales but have also lived in Scotland.

regards
Sue

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

Looks like we will not be moving over before March ourselves now :( Should have been October but.....manyana!!! :zzz: So I am definitely overcome with sadness....but not about going....about the delay!!! :mad:

Re: Overcome with sadness
 

What a pain !!!

Gutted for you.....

All the best and fingers crossed for you it'll be sooner than you think.