Vicki DeCosemo

Hi everyone!
thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
After years of weighing up the pros and cons, we have decided to go for it and move our Family to Spain, as nothing is keeping us in the UK. My husband works in London and offshore, so is not often at home.
we are thinking of the Alicante area, I have 3 kids aged 8,7 and 5. I've contacted the European international school there, as i have have fears about my eldest falling behind in a state school because of the language barrier. Has anyone moved with kids of the same sort of age? How did they settle? I want to give them a better life than the UK, I'm aware Spain is not a paradise and will take lots of getting used to, but I'm sure the quality of life is better, and if we don't try we will never know, obviously we will have to wait and see where we stand after Brexit too.
I speak some Spanish as i spent a lot of time there as a kid, my kids speak none despite my efforts!
I will be alone with the kids often, so I'm also wondering about good areas ect. The areas that interest me are playa san juan and El Campello because of the European school nearby and the distance from the airport. Any advice is so,so welcome and needed!
thankyou so much, have a lovely day

1sexsmith

Funny. Most of my Spanish friends feel the opposite. They would prefer to move to UK as they feel life would be better for their kids there than in Spain . Many young educated Spanish families feel Spain lacks the progressiveness of Northern European countries. Education is perceived as better. Job opportunities greater. More equality. More security. More gender neutral. Etc.

Vicki DeCosemo

Thanks for your reply, that is interesting to hear. I know a few families in spain and in Italy who prefer the schooling the UK has to offer, however I also know ones who feel the opposite. I guess the only way to find out is to try while the kids are still young enough.
many thanks, have a good day

spainrico

I cannot comment directly on the fors/againsts for children of being educated here as I do not have that direct experience. But I can tell you Playa San Juan /Campello is a fantastic area to live. It is clean, safe, well organised and has fantastic facilities. There is a great selection of schools and a university (San Vicente), good health system, great transport infrastructure (roads, tram, airport, high-speed train) shopping, sports, culture and a great outdoor life with the weather, beach, golf courses, mountains etc.

I have heard it said that whilst Spanish education is well resourced its curriculum is outdated and does not focus on modern day life. But it does seem to produce well educated/qualified kids who seem confident happy and well balanced who are polite and respectful.

Accommodation wise long-term renting has become difficult in terms of availability and costs (effect of Air BnB and the like?) but there is good availability to buy both second and new - Playa San Juan is undergoing a building boom reminiscent of the 2000-8 boom but it is more expensive than El Campello (a few clicks more away from Alicante centre and the Uni)

Good luck.

1sexsmith

Vicki DeCosemo

I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope things improve for him quickly, I can only try to understand how very daunting it is for a kid, it's great that he has learned the language and has Spanish friends. I have heard the Spanish are behind the times education wise.
Even though youre worried about education, do you regret your decision to move there or is the quality of life better?

1sexsmith

Well to be honest, for me , I would move back to the UK if I could. I don't really think of things so much as quality of life as more a sense of where you are rooted. I would say I am pretty integrated into Spanish life. I live in an apartment with Spanish neighbours who work and have families. I speak quite good Spanish. I don't know any Brit expat and I I work here so have a Spanish timetable. However the more familiar and common the experience becomes and the more I am able to penetrate Spanish life the more I miss the UK. I don't like being a Guiri ( Spanish parlance for foreigner) but will always be that however long I live here. I always feel incomplete and half invisible as though I have a spanish-me and real-me. I feel sorry for my kid as well because despite being pretty integrated here himself ( he has no English friends here) he constantly feels that he only half exists and he really misses the UK. However things might be very different for you as your children are much younger so probably won't have assimilated so much with their culture having not started school yet. So it might be easier for them.However do not sacrifice your own self for the sake of your children . It might seem very noble but in all honesty you must learn to find a balance. Also, and this is a big big thing. Do not underestimate friendships and family. A young family needs them big time. You cannot live as an isolated unit. It sounds nice and makes a good film but you need a lot of social nourishment to keep going and being in a foreign country can be very lonely after a while. So think hard about it. Talk it over with everyone and maybe give it a go for a year but don't burn any bridges. Good luck. And remember this is only my perspective. There will be lots who have an opposite opinion

snikpoh

My 3 children moved here at roughly the same age (7,7 & 10). They all did extremely well in state primary school, then secondary and, for the eldest, in Bachi. The eldest then went on to do a degree here and now has a full-time job. My younger two are in further education still.

All three are tri-lingual (Spanish, Valencian and English). They all adapted very well, very quickly and with no issues.

The key to all this is integration and help from the parents!

Vicki DeCosemo

Thanks so much for your reply! I'm so glad to hear theyre doing so well, must be a huge relief for you after such a big move, could they speak any Spanish at all when you put them into state primary? I've got an appintment with an international school as I'm worried about the language barrier although I've heard this wont help them integrate as much?
Thanks so much

1sexsmith

Personally as they are so young I wouldn't go with the international school because as the other poster said integration is the key and an international school will kind of keep them in a slightly non Spanish environment. Plus it will cost!!!.
I agree that it only works if your kids kind of become , well, Spanish in many ways. My kid resists this and does everything to remain connected with his primary language and connected culture. Maybe it is a rebellious act against his mother and me for bringing him here. No idea.Anyway I think the question you need to be asking is how much are you and your partner going to do to become integrated? Are ou going to live close to expat communities or more Spanish. Are you going to work in a spanish environment?. Will you watch British TV and shop for British food products.? If this is how you prefer to do it( and there is nothing wrong with for some people) then you might struggle. If not and you are prepared to kind of reinvent yourselves then I think it will have a better chance of suceeding

Vicki DeCosemo

Hi thanks again the information.
No we absolutely wont be watching English tv and only wanting to associate with ex pats, no judgment at all to those who do, but id like my kids to be as integrated as possible.
we have no family in the UK, my husband's parents are Italian now living in Greece, and my parents live in Hong Kong, so we are already are quite alienated here.
I stayed in the UK for so long because of my kids being in school, and my top priority is them not having major dificulities and resenting our decision. You seem to understand exactly what i mean by that. I have no idea if a Spanish state school would help the kids at first language wise, as it must be so daunting to go into a classroom for months and not being able to understand a word.
my husband would be away most of the time too, so it is a huge gamble but I can't shake the feeling that of it did work out, the kids would be happier with the spanish way if life. We rent here, so dont have to sell up and then have no back up plan.Does your son want to return to the UK? How long did it take him to pick up the language comfortably?
many thanks again for all your help

1sexsmith

Your kids probably will be less anxious about the school experience than you. They don't really think about the language barrier like we do. I don't think it is quite ad stressful for them as you think. They will pick up the language but not quite in the way that the myth suggests. If you think of the number of hours they will be submersed in the language it isn't that amazing as some adults think.
You will probably hear people talking about how their children were fluent within a year or 6 months however you need to contextualize this. Your child will probably be relatively comfortable around children their own age within a year or two. However they probably might not have the ability to deal with unfamiliar situations for example more academic texts etc which will happen in school.
Of course the main problem is that you want be able to really assess their competence unless you speak Spanish.!! Hence the case where parents often brag about their children's Spanish without realising it is often quite erroneous and functioning within a limited number of scenarios.
So in short if you put your children in a state school they will gain a level of competence within a couple of years.The younger they are the quicker the competence ( not because of any strange miraculous changes in the brain) but simply that younger kids use less vocab less complex structures and participate in less complex "language games." The older they are the more they need to be able to do therefore the longer it will take.
One thing you should know is that ( at the moment) SPANISH KIDS GET A LOT of homework and are tested nearly every two weeks. They nearly always at primary level will require some help with this which means that you will need to assist them . If you don't have Spanish this is very hard and you might need a bilingual person to take on the support role at least for a couple of years.

snikpoh

They had absolutely not one word when they arrived.

I would say that mine were confortable with the language with 6 months.

My eldest was only in primary for 1 year before moving to secondary school. He survived just fine and enjoyed his time there.

My advice - use a state school or a concertado.

dougal03

I am quite amazed at 1sexsmith's comments.My daughter came to Spain & initially was enrolled into a private English school in our area.We found it so poor & it was later closed due to the owners not being qualified to teach at that level,& she went into the Spanish state school system.Like Snikpoh's children she did remarkably well.Years later I have a Spanish granddaughter,obviously went through the usual Spanish system but unfortunately some 4 years ago was taken to live in southern England.I was educated at a Grammar school on the south coast & imagined it would similar to that,after all,isn't it more affluent than southern Spain.Like myself she was an average ability pupil but somehow,in her new school despite faltering fluency in speaking/spelling in English she very quickly became a"star pupil" even given the task of organising the Parents Open Evening.My niece has been a qualified language teacher in UK for many years,yet to get a promotion as "Head" she had to retrain to become a Maths.teacher.So much for the British to expand as a global player.What a shame that children haven't time to do boring things like "homework" & I certainly don't remember my parents thinking I should have their help with it.Perhaps some people just don't want the kind of life we have in Spain.Over the years I've heard so many reasons,the one though that sticks in my mind was from a man from Liverpool who "missed going round Woolies on a Saturday".At least he was honest.

1sexsmith

My comments about helping with homework relates to the Spanish system where apoyo is quite normal as many children simply don't understand or are not adequately taught the day's lesson. I also feel it is important for the OP to realise that until the children have Spanish they quite simply want be able to do the homework without help. It is not about being soft on children or interfering. However if people believe kids learn the language easily within months then that is fine and maybe my boy doesn't have the aptitude for languages that the other kids have. Just my e experience