Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Hi there, I have just been told that because of my Rheumatoid Arthritis I should give up work for good, I am planning to come to Alicante to live. I am 54. I am planning to RENT long term. My partner will be paying the rent and bills.
The only worry is, He will not be joining me for at least a year or so. I will have money to pay my way but no job.
Will this be a problem. I have been awarded DLA which I understand I can bring with me. I don't know about ESA but if anyone knows the rules then please advise me.
Also, what else do I need to do paperwork wise to ensure all goes smoothly.
Thanks in anticipation of your help
Jan :)

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

what about passports for the dogs ?

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Carefully read the "Free Beer" sticky as this is full of information.

Off the top of my head:
Dogs will need all their injections to be up to date, chipped, and passported.
You will need to get yourself an NIE, sign on the padron, sort out private health care, sign on at the health centre. For anything to do with paperwork here I always suggest that you take at least 3 photocopies of all of your documentation such as passport, birth certificate, marriage certificate and passport sized photos. Once you have NIE and padron add these to the photocopy list. Whilst you are at it any visits to officialdom need lots of patience, a good book, and of course the kitchen sink.

Good luck

Rosemary

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Use a GOOD estate agent who will be able to help you. They are not all crooks, but IMHO most of the British ones are worse than useless.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Before moving to Spain with my partner last year, several years ago I moved to Teneriffe with the kids ahead of my then husband who remaind in the UK to finish working while I looked for work in Teneriffe, having done that I learned one very valuable lesson and although I am not saying it will happen all I am saying is that it does happen and I am not alone in having this happen.

Sometime a relationship does not survive the time apart for what ever reason, I know I can hear you it will not happen to me but please if you are going have at least some independent money to survive on and maybe rent a fully furnished property so you do not need to buy little bits to make it home, just in case you have to go back quickly, make sure that any pets you bring out can also return at VERY SHORT notice. Before I am accused of bringing doom and gloom I had been married 16years with him 18 years, had 2 young children and a dream that I thought was for both of us, as it turned out I was wrong and it cost me a marriage, if I can advise anyone to prevent it happening to someone else then job done. Take a good look at your relationship and although the move maybe your dream, check that it is there's as well as the distance can make outside influences a little bit more accessible, the internet will make it easy for you to keep in touch but it also opens many other doors.

Do plenty of recon work so you know where you want to live, as you have a disability you will have to take notice of bus/train availability and how often they run, how close major shops are like Mercardona, supersol etc and also what amount of social life there is, you may not be a social bunny but as I found out it gets very lonely very quickly when your isolated so even if you have a ladies group close will be of some comfort and help as many will have had to deal with the paperwork here before you. when looking for a place both of you come out as then it is a joint home and gives them something to aim for and time, make the time realistic for them to move over,no use you being her for 4 years and then supporting you any relationship is worth more than that. Many do have partners that work for periods of time away might be worth asking jojo as her other half works part of the year in the UK.

My experience was a bad one of being apart and many handle it well, but it is better to know that sometimes it is not as easy as we think it should be.

As you have Arthritis check that the climate is conducive to the condition a friend of mine moved in land but it aggravated her condition, 12 months later had to move closer to the coast and now 12 months on she has moved onto the coast as it is warmer and the heat is better for her particular problem.

Good look with the adventure, it will be challenging, happy, sad but most of all enjoy the experience but never be afraid to go back if it does not work out, you have not failed all you have found out that now was not the right time.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I agree with Jay.

We found it very stressful moving to Spain and I would not like to have done it solo.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

What DOGS?

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

There has been another thread running regarding flats in a couple of towns and she mentions her dogs. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485

Rosemary

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Then why don't people reply to that thread or admin move these replies:confused:
Doris,
Look at DWP site for all info you need re exporting benefits.
You are entitled to claim certain benefits for certain periods without having to change any of your entitlement.
I think you should do a temporary stay here, that way you will still get all your UK benefits and you can see if your RA is better and check out locations.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that a possible improvement in your physical health will negate a detioration in your emotional health.
My advice is to think long and hard, give it a trial first before you go contacting DWP DLA.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Because she has sensibly started a new thread with new questions.

Rosemary

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

sorry if i have caused a fuss Rosemary, but I believe the second posting is just a rehash of the original with some small changes.
and you know how touchy people are about dogs round here.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

gees newbies don't get it easy here do they, can't do right for doing wrong. We were all new to forums once, maybe the lady thought she could word it better or wanted to ask new things and thought best in new thread. Does it really matter anyway.

Doris, I too would recommend trying to do a short stay first before you follow it up with changing anything. You need to be sure it will make the difference to YOUR health that you believe it will. Good luck with your plans and research.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Sort of off topic, it sound like the partner will be " de Rodriguez."

Is there an English phrase that means the same?

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

De Rodriguez,,, what on earth is that :o

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

No one has given the newbie a hard time. I was not the only one confused about dogs in this thread.
Grow up.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Why feel the need to be nasty, surely here we are adult enough to be able to cope with a little perceived confusion.
Graham

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

if you mean her - grass widow?

or him - when the cat's away the mouse will play

actually she could take advantage of that one too!!!

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I think this has gone too far :thumbdown:

John.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

:confused::confused:

it's just a joke!!!

and dorishaslop did ask...................

no offence is meant - however if she is offended I'll ask a mod to delete it

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

There are a few odf us, including lynnx who live in Spain while our husbands work away, so know the pitfalls of being on our own here! My main concern would be that the OP would need to get a carer in if she is receiving DLA - thats the allowance to enable her to pay for assistance. But hopefully there will be agencies around. Apart from that, its however she wants it to be - boring without a job would be my first thought

Jo xxx

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

you have a point - I came here never intending to work - my kids were still quite little

as they got older though - & it wasn't just that they were at school all day, but out with friends after school, too - yes, I got bored & started working again

I could only cope with so much time drinking coffee with the 'yummy mummies'


but that's just me
actually -none of the yummy mummies I knew from back then are still here........................us workers are though

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

In defence of the poster that mentioned while the cats away, it is all to easy to forget that you are in a relationship while the other person is a 1000miles away.

I know I had it happen to me. It takes a strong relationship, a lot of trust and the knowledge that you are BOTH working to a single goal, if either of you are not committed to the move then PLEASE rethink.

So many other halves say ok to an idea when in reality it is only the dream of one person and all to often it leads to conflict and with the distance it is easier to forget that you are a we not simply an I"2. I ended up an I"" when I thought we were a "we" because the dream turned out to be just my dream and not his as well. He ended up talking to a woman in the states and went further than 1000miles he went to a whole new continent.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

don't shoot the messenger - I was only translating!!! - actually it wasn't you shooting, was it?

however...........

yes, it's true - it takes a VERY strong relationship to cope with long distance

sadly, I know quite a few relationships which have split due to distance - obviously not just the distance - but that's a factor

my OH has always worked away - since long before we had the kids - before we got married in fact - it's what we are used to & it works for us

but it's not for everyone

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Grow up ? oh dear hardly worth commenting on that and taking the thread further off topic. Maybe you should ignore my posts if I am so childish. I surely won't reply to yours.

My apologies to the OP.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I'm not sure it necessarily means that there will be any infidelity, just that the husband is left alone at home whilst the wife is away.:p

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

no it doesn't have to mean that

grass widow - which was one of my suggestions - can just be a woman whose husband is away temporarily - like me:D

and there's no infidelity in our relationship

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

as the poster who originated the question about dogs, as discussed with Rosemary via PM, I had clocked that the OP had made a similar request on
URL="http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485"]http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485[/URL]
where a number of current posters made comment, and 2 lurchers were mentioned, but not mentioned in this posting.

So I asked the question as many rentals are strictly Non Perro, and could be a major sticking point when looking for a property.

Now please, stop fighting each other, flame me if you want - my cojons are brass plated and go back to providing assistance to the OP who is going to need buckets full of support and assistance

regards

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

as currently "el Rodriguez" as has been so politely put, a bit of input.

after making a few initial fact-finding trips with a view to retirement in Andalucia, the OH received a job offer in Andalucia we hadnt been expecting and we had a mad scramble to find flat and get her moved out in 3wks. This we saw as a trial as to whether she could exist in a foreign land, tempered by working in an English speaking environment.

Now we have moved el Perro out with her car and a number of personal items I am left to pack up the house and prepare it for renting (only view turned out to be buy-to-letter who wanted to knock 25% off price for guarantee to complete)

There can be worries on either side as to what is happening, especially when OH gets invited to things by the very amiable locals - who I have met.
What is good for us is we see our situation as a means to an end - being together.

The first few weeks were difficult as our only communication was text and 3mins fone call on mobile each day.
Now we have landline and Skype with video cam and a pc at each end so can and do talk for over an hour every day. also each have UK and Spanish mobiles which we use dependent on who is where to keep the costs down. Regular trips on Ryanair or Easyjet can sometimes make things worse.

It all comes down to confidence in the relationship and your partner. If there is any doubt on either side then it probably will go belly up - whether in Spain, Singapore or Scunthorpe.

rgds

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I come on here to offer advice, not to respond to unjustified smart alec personal comments.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

OMG. you really cant be offended at that......:thumbdown::thumbdown:

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

De Rodriguez.

Instead of getting all het uk and jumping to conclusions and arguing the toss about Spanish phrases, may I suggest that the more "nitpicking" posters keep a more open mind, that way your Spanish might just improve and become as good as my English.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Thanks for joining in and accusing me of being "nasty". :thumbsup:

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I didn't think this thread had anything to do with my circumstances, until I remembered. For the first two years in our new and strange Spanish place, she went back to the UK on several occasions to work, for anything up to three months at a time.

Not only were we in a Spanish town, but it was also one where Valenciano was widely spoken and my basic knowledge of Castellano wasn't much help. On one occasion there was a hiccup on her return date, and she stayed away for much longer than expected.

I got to the stage where I had to seriously consider whether she was going to return at all. I finally came to the conclusion that I would stay, even without her. I had eight Spanish neighbours, all couples and one elderly widow, and the concern they showed for me was touching. We were barely able to communicate, and their concern grew whenever another dateline for my partner's return passed.

When she finally returned, the neighbours turned up at the door with flowers. If she hadn't returned, I think I would be totally fluent in Valenciano by now.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I for one would feel priveleged if that did happen - but it gets difficult in your 60's to have to relink the patch cords in your brain when J = H, B = V, except in the following circumstances, its worse than English :)

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

The poor lady has asked for advice. she has terrible Rheumatoid Arthritis and hopes that a move to this warm climate will ease her pain. Unfortunately her husband can't come for eighteen months, but they have decided that the best thing for her is to come now. As if this isn't bad enough, some of you have attempted to put a doubt in her mind by suggesting that as soon as she's out of the country, he'll be off having affairs. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
This is supposed to be a forum to help people. Some of you seem to take great delight in adding to their troubles.

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

I think you're missing the humour and lets not forget, as I've pointed out already on here, alot of us have husbands who commute and work away, so all possible issues that may crop need to be addressed.

Jo

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

yes, including me - & you!!

it is something to consider - especially if you're not used to living apart


it was a light-hearted comment - & I'm sure if the OP was upset she'd have said something by now & the comments removed

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

There is nothing to consider, they don't have any option, and if you think there is any humour in Rheumatoid Arthritis, there is something wrong with you!

Comments removed? You can't take back what has already been said, the damage is done!!!!

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

er - no

you're not to know - but I have mobility problems myself

I use sticks pretty often & a wheelchair on occaision

I also live in Spain & my husband works away a lot, so I reckon I have more in common than most here with the OP

- check my previous posts if you don't believe me

Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
 

Then you of all people should have been more sensative in your posts!