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Moving to Spain with 4 children

Moving to Spain with 4 children

Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:01 pm
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Default Re: New and totally Lost

Originally Posted by lynnxa
the 10 year old should be fine - the 13 year old - maybe give it a try, but IMO should really go into international school to have any chance of succeeding educationally

what year was the 13 year old born?

and come to think of it, the 10 year old too - as by sept next year s/he might be age-appropriate for secondary school - which could be difficult
Not sure I agree, I guess it depends on the child. Working in an International School, I see successes and failures in this system too!! I know when my two girls needed a school (albeit slightly younger then the OP´s) our first choice was Spanish. They are at an international now, but this was a logistical choice.

Last edited by Zaragozaram; Jul 31st 2011 at 6:03 pm. Reason: cant spell logistical
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:05 pm
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Default Re: New and totally Lost

Originally Posted by chukkiesmum
the one that will be 13 was born April 1999 so will literally just be 13, the 10 year old is July 2001 so just had her 10th birthday and is going into UK year 6 :-)

claire x
ok - so born in 1999 would be age-appropriate for 2nd year of secondary in sept 2012 - when you realise that there are only 4 years of compulsory secondary education before they can leave, you'll understand when I say that it is highly unlikely that s/he will become fluent enough in spanish, quickly enough, to be able to study & pass the spanish equivalent of GCSEs in history, geography, chemistry, biology, physics etc......in just 3 years

I teach GCSE Spanish & wouldn't want to do it myself!!

born in 2001 will be age-appopriate for the last year (6) of primary, so should be OK

saying that, I know 15 year old english kids who have been in the spanish system from age 7 who still don't speak spanish well enough to pass exams - & conversely one or two who have started at age 12/13 who are doing fine

Last edited by lynnxa; Jul 31st 2011 at 6:09 pm.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:12 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Maybe two years in Spanish school to improve Spanish, followed by Year 10 and 11 at an International to study GCSE´s, would be a good compromise.

Sam

Last edited by Zaragozaram; Jul 31st 2011 at 6:38 pm.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:14 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by Zaragozaram
Maybe two years in Spanish school to improve Spanish, followed by Year 10 and 11 at an International to study GCSE´s, would be a good compromise.

Sam Litchfield (find me on facebook)
not a bad idea - surely the 13 year old would only get a year though?
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:20 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Doh, it is obvious that I am not a maths teacher. A year in Spanish school, supplemented by some extra curricular learning with a GCSE Spanish teacher say, followed by two years GCSE at International school.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:23 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by Zaragozaram
Doh, it is obvious that I am not a maths teacher. A year in Spanish school, supplemented by some extra curricular learning with a GCSE Spanish teacher say, followed by two years GCSE at International school.
there we go - sorted out their lives for them



next!!
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:29 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by lynnxa
there we go - sorted out their lives for them



next!!
LOL thank you, all done and dusted see you in April ha ha x
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:30 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by Zaragozaram
Maybe two years in Spanish school to improve Spanish, followed by Year 10 and 11 at an International to study GCSE´s, would be a good compromise.

Sam Litchfield (find me on facebook)
might be easier if you could find me as I am the only one has pm'd it, thanks lynnxa and for all your help too, I am so glad that I contacted you all now :-)

Last edited by chukkiesmum; Jul 31st 2011 at 6:40 pm.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:34 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Although I have no children of that age I can comment on my friend´s experiences. She moved here with children of about 10 and 12/13 and has gone through the Spanish system. The first year was hell but the kids soon became fluent. The eldest is taking her Baccharat (sorry have no idea how to spell it) and may or may not go on to Uni in Spain. The problem is that in Spanish schools the children have to pass every subject in a year if they don´t, even just failing one, for example Spanish history, they are kept back a year this means they get disheartened and lose interest. This has happened to my friend´s children´s friends to such an extent that they refused to go to school. My friends children are very happy here and wouldn´t want to return to the UK. Personally I wouldn´t move with a child of 13 but that is a personal opinion.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:35 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by chukkiesmum
might be easier if you could find me as I am the only ..........................
if I were you I'd edit my name out & send it by PM

Last edited by lynnxa; Jul 31st 2011 at 6:43 pm.
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Old Jul 31st 2011, 6:45 pm
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

I absolutely appreciate everyones opinion good or bad, I want to go into this with my eyes wide open the schooling has to be right otherwise it is not going to work for any of us, the 13 year old is learning spanish now and seems to have a natural gift with languages so I hope that this is a good sign for the future

claire x
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Old Aug 1st 2011, 7:33 am
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Hi, My first move abroad with a child was to Teneriffe with a 13 yr old boy, my 1st mistake was not asking him if he really wanted to move or was just saying yes to please me as I/we (ex hubby) really wanted the move.

Mistake 2, trying to do what I thought was best for him I enrolled him in a Spanish school but he had no idea what he was letting himself in for, a simple thing like sitting in a chair became a huge issue when a teacher asked him to move as another child wanted to sit there, (he could not see why he should move as he was there first) the head was called and he was almost arrested when they threatened to call the police, there is not as much give in Spain on behaviour it is very black/white.

Mistake 3, although money was not a huge issue it became an issue when you are trying to supplement their education and integration, you find you do more trips out as they have few friends, you take them to places to try and encourage use of language but that can become costly amazing what emotional blackmail can cost. I also had a daughter of 14 going on 15/40 at the time and she wanted to remain in the UK to finish her education (that was not necessarily a good move either) but we live and learn. Check out how much international schools cost, extra schooling is maybe going to cost and all the bits and pieces that would be provided in the UK but not here.

Mistake 4, not everyone's marriage is strong enough to withstand the distance how ever brief a time or however much you talk, communicate or think it is what everyone is striving for. The internet is a wonderful thing but it can also be a door to the unknown for lonely people. I made the move with our son so I could get settled, get him into school, get a job, all 3 objectives completed only to find out that my now ex hubby had started talking to a yank and fallen in imaginary love with her, sent me a text saying he wanted a divorce and watched my world implode. Many do have that strong bond and manage the distance but I can only talk about my experience.

I returned to the UK found I had a huge uphill battle to sort all the problems out, relationship with daughter took some doing and even now 9 years on she can sometimes throw it at me when she loses her temper, Ex hubby went to the States, married the woman (she turned out to be a right nut case - his words) his adventure lasted 5 years and one divorce later returned to the UK, it took me 8 years to get over the be-trail and become friends with him again.
Son often talks about his adventure but it did nothing to help him, he did not settle, became isolated which resulted in behaviour issues at school so a return to the UK was the best move.

Would I do it again with teenage kids NO, but that is purely my experience, do I regret doing it, for me no, for the kids and the problems yes.

The hardest part of any move is the chances of failure, but look at it as an adventure, talk to the kids, hubby and have no rose tinted glasses that cloud the reality of it " it is not going to be easy" but if it works best of look, if not bide your time and move when for you, it is the right time.

I waited till the kids were independent, had lives of their own and then I moved for me, my partner and I are both happy with what we have now done, it has not stopped my kids saying that I should have remained in the UK as I now have grandchildren but sometimes it means more to try what has been in you for so long than stay for family, others find leaving their family harder than they thought, others try one place and move on but that is why it is called my life, your life and their life, one life does not fit all.
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Old Aug 1st 2011, 7:56 am
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by jay01
Hi, My first move abroad with a child was to Teneriffe with a 13 yr old boy, my 1st mistake was not asking him if he really wanted to move or was just saying yes to please me as I/we (ex hubby) really wanted the move.

Mistake 2, trying to do what I thought was best for him I enrolled him in a Spanish school but he had no idea what he was letting himself in for, a simple thing like sitting in a chair became a huge issue when a teacher asked him to move as another child wanted to sit there, (he could not see why he should move as he was there first) the head was called and he was almost arrested when they threatened to call the police, there is not as much give in Spain on behaviour it is very black/white.

Mistake 3, although money was not a huge issue it became an issue when you are trying to supplement their education and integration, you find you do more trips out as they have few friends, you take them to places to try and encourage use of language but that can become costly amazing what emotional blackmail can cost. I also had a daughter of 14 going on 15/40 at the time and she wanted to remain in the UK to finish her education (that was not necessarily a good move either) but we live and learn. Check out how much international schools cost, extra schooling is maybe going to cost and all the bits and pieces that would be provided in the UK but not here.

Mistake 4, not everyone's marriage is strong enough to withstand the distance how ever brief a time or however much you talk, communicate or think it is what everyone is striving for. The internet is a wonderful thing but it can also be a door to the unknown for lonely people. I made the move with our son so I could get settled, get him into school, get a job, all 3 objectives completed only to find out that my now ex hubby had started talking to a yank and fallen in imaginary love with her, sent me a text saying he wanted a divorce and watched my world implode. Many do have that strong bond and manage the distance but I can only talk about my experience.

I returned to the UK found I had a huge uphill battle to sort all the problems out, relationship with daughter took some doing and even now 9 years on she can sometimes throw it at me when she loses her temper, Ex hubby went to the States, married the woman (she turned out to be a right nut case - his words) his adventure lasted 5 years and one divorce later returned to the UK, it took me 8 years to get over the be-trail and become friends with him again.
Son often talks about his adventure but it did nothing to help him, he did not settle, became isolated which resulted in behaviour issues at school so a return to the UK was the best move.

Would I do it again with teenage kids NO, but that is purely my experience, do I regret doing it, for me no, for the kids and the problems yes.

The hardest part of any move is the chances of failure, but look at it as an adventure, talk to the kids, hubby and have no rose tinted glasses that cloud the reality of it " it is not going to be easy" but if it works best of look, if not bide your time and move when for you, it is the right time.

I waited till the kids were independent, had lives of their own and then I moved for me, my partner and I are both happy with what we have now done, it has not stopped my kids saying that I should have remained in the UK as I now have grandchildren but sometimes it means more to try what has been in you for so long than stay for family, others find leaving their family harder than they thought, others try one place and move on but that is why it is called my life, your life and their life, one life does not fit all.
great advice sadly learned the hard way
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Old Aug 1st 2011, 9:31 am
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by jay01
Hi, My first move abroad with a child was to Teneriffe with a 13 yr old boy, my 1st mistake was not asking him if he really wanted to move or was just saying yes to please me as I/we (ex hubby) really wanted the move.

Mistake 2, trying to do what I thought was best for him I enrolled him in a Spanish school but he had no idea what he was letting himself in for, a simple thing like sitting in a chair became a huge issue when a teacher asked him to move as another child wanted to sit there, (he could not see why he should move as he was there first) the head was called and he was almost arrested when they threatened to call the police, there is not as much give in Spain on behaviour it is very black/white.

Mistake 3, although money was not a huge issue it became an issue when you are trying to supplement their education and integration, you find you do more trips out as they have few friends, you take them to places to try and encourage use of language but that can become costly amazing what emotional blackmail can cost. I also had a daughter of 14 going on 15/40 at the time and she wanted to remain in the UK to finish her education (that was not necessarily a good move either) but we live and learn. Check out how much international schools cost, extra schooling is maybe going to cost and all the bits and pieces that would be provided in the UK but not here.

Mistake 4, not everyone's marriage is strong enough to withstand the distance how ever brief a time or however much you talk, communicate or think it is what everyone is striving for. The internet is a wonderful thing but it can also be a door to the unknown for lonely people. I made the move with our son so I could get settled, get him into school, get a job, all 3 objectives completed only to find out that my now ex hubby had started talking to a yank and fallen in imaginary love with her, sent me a text saying he wanted a divorce and watched my world implode. Many do have that strong bond and manage the distance but I can only talk about my experience.

I returned to the UK found I had a huge uphill battle to sort all the problems out, relationship with daughter took some doing and even now 9 years on she can sometimes throw it at me when she loses her temper, Ex hubby went to the States, married the woman (she turned out to be a right nut case - his words) his adventure lasted 5 years and one divorce later returned to the UK, it took me 8 years to get over the be-trail and become friends with him again.
Son often talks about his adventure but it did nothing to help him, he did not settle, became isolated which resulted in behaviour issues at school so a return to the UK was the best move.

Would I do it again with teenage kids NO, but that is purely my experience, do I regret doing it, for me no, for the kids and the problems yes.

The hardest part of any move is the chances of failure, but look at it as an adventure, talk to the kids, hubby and have no rose tinted glasses that cloud the reality of it " it is not going to be easy" but if it works best of look, if not bide your time and move when for you, it is the right time.

I waited till the kids were independent, had lives of their own and then I moved for me, my partner and I are both happy with what we have now done, it has not stopped my kids saying that I should have remained in the UK as I now have grandchildren but sometimes it means more to try what has been in you for so long than stay for family, others find leaving their family harder than they thought, others try one place and move on but that is why it is called my life, your life and their life, one life does not fit all.
Cracking post Jay.

Being a kid that was taken to live in a different cournty at a young age, with a positive result, I know that it is not always the case and some children have it hard.

Glad it ended well for you.

Cheers
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Old Aug 1st 2011, 9:31 am
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Default Re: Moving to Spain with 4 children

Originally Posted by lynnxa
great advice sadly learned the hard way
definitely thank you for sharing the advice, I did say I wanted to hear the good the bad and the ugly and I am glad your life is now back on track, I appreciate everyones input in this as it is a monumental decision for us, the kids all want to go and are as prepared as they can be for the difficulties, we are going out in October to get a feel for it, and the lovely Sam is helping me every step of the way now, so I am really glad to have made the post now :-) xx
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