Domino

could we not have a specific Dating forum allocated and leave this as a General Moving To Spain Forum ?

Dxf

Hi

If it is not breaking the site rules - well done moderators for seeing the whole picture.

To my mind it not inappropriate to ask (after 15 years of marriage) how to go about finding another partner; times change and in 15 years methods change to and these days, finding someone through the internet is considered "normal". At 60+ it is also more difficult to meet single people than it was as a youngster.

Davexf (a single guy that meets ladies through dating sites)

jay01

Firstly can I just say that it is a shame your 3rd marriage seems to have ended in such a manor and I can totally understand why you are not looking for a permanent relationship but I can also see where many of the other posters are coming from.

Try joining groups that have a relevance to your preferred hobby/interest like photography, drawing, dancing etc but can I advise against going in with the soul intention of bagging your self a concubine. The British legion will happily accept new members and they provide many activities and you do not need to be a former serving member of the armed forces, with your language skills why not join a (do not know Spanish name for it) social speaking group I am sure many people there would be grateful of a native English speaker that can speak fluent Spanish as well, as sometimes the quirks of the English language can trip even the best up. You may not want to join a dating site but it is an option but always be honest with your descriptions as touting yourself as something your not will only cause disappointment and possibly my last bit of advice is stop looking, you will generally find that everything happens for a reason so trust in karma, if you have needs that need seeing to then there are options available but if it becomes an important first part of a relationship you may find yourself alone a while as any woman worth having today will walk a mile in the opposite direction, we prefer to feel valued for who we are not what we offer.

Having got 30 ways of meeting people on a list already I am sure those that I have posted are on there, I am sure you know what you need to do, the opposite of what you did wrong the last 3 times would be a good start.

Rosemary

Hope that all goes well for you David, we do seem to have a lot of Mary clones on here today.

Graham

JLFS

I think joining that type of group with the hope of meeting Spanish women of a certain age who are likely to give into a bit of hanky panky in a reletively short time, would be a bit slim.

The best place is the local "desguace", everyone interested in "relationships" knows where and when.

The women who go there, mainly are looking for the same thing as the poster,whereas the problem with joing a speaking group when really looking for a bit of the other, is that the members of the speaking group might just be interested in speaking/married etc.

A waste of everyones time.

jay01

I may be wrong here and I understand where your are coming from JLFS but I do believe the original poster was asking about meeting people, yes mainly ladies and as such I was offering options not how to get laid.

As for the language group I was actually thinking of British ex pats whom wish to learn Spanish, not Spanish wishing to learn English. He indicated that his language skills were good and with the best will in the world some times the English language is difficult to translate or something is lost in translation so having someone who has a good grasp of both is an asset to all sides.

I do not understand why there is so much concentration on his wish to look for a sexual relationship at some point, I am sure he is aware that there are places and people to deal with his sexual needs, however should he find a like minded woman that is for them alone.

Why should people of certain ages stick to the accepted age range, surely it is how old/young you feel and not your physical age, you do not need to be 60+ to have friends of just that age group, friends of 40/50 age group should be just as valued, he is clearly a man of the world with 3 former wives, but what ever went wrong with them should be a lesson learned but if not that again is for him to deal with.

I wish him every luck, if all he wants is a good bang then good on him, if he wants friends with benefits as long as it is mutual and all cards are on the table then who cares as long as he is honest with himself and them, if he is looking for wife number 4 I think he should change his criteria a little as the fact she will be number 4 is warning enough. Age is a number not a position in life think out of the box you maybe amazed at who you will find.

The most important things in life are friends, family you have no choice about you get what you are given but friends are family you choose to be with, enjoy being single and making new friends, if you find one with benefits then enjoy it but if not there is no disgrace in fulfilling needs else where.

jay01

what is a Mary clone? or have I missed something?

Mitzyboy

Just as a thought for consideration, this same request was made on another well known and respected Spanish forum, not derided, and a number of sensible thoughtful answers were made by the member posters there. The OP stays there and makes helpful posts on other subjects, but I suspect he couldn't be arsed to come back here after the reception he got

Sue

Just to add my thoughts. I read the OP's post before anyone had responded. I felt it was a genuine request by a member who was looking to his fellow expats for advice. After all that's why BE was created. I thought that members would be able to give him some direction.

To he honest I am a bit surprised that some only seemed to home in on one word in the post, and appeared to disregard the rest of the post entirely. In retrospect If I had realized that would have happened I would have removed that word at the beginning (thanks Mitzyboy).

So now the word in question is out of the equation, lets try and give the OP some constructive advice

Thanks all.

mdavidfrost

My posting seems to have generated quite a lot of interest, and quickly.

Thank you everyone for your comments.

Domino – Yes, I think a dating forum would be a good idea, as long as the ads for paid sex were filtered out.

Davexf – What dating sites do you use and what do they cost? Despite my reservations, maybe I should consider them.

jay01 – I agree that I'm more likely to meet someone by doing things that I like and looking for people with similar interests, for example:
vegetarian food
reading
writing
theatre
languages
computing (Mac, Linux, open source)
walking
nudist beaches (WYSIWYG)
Irish music
rock music
flamenco
politics
Spanish/English conversation exchange

Graham/ jay01 – Yes, what is a Mary clone? I've done a quick Internet search, but come up with nothing, and usually I find what I'm searching for in seconds.

JLFS/jay01 – Yes, Spanish/English conversation exchanges are already on my list. And a woman friend with benefits is a good description of what I'm looking for. Although I have Spanish friends in their 30s, I think I'd prefer a woman in her 50s or 60s.

Mitzboy – I have made the same posting in other forums.

Again, thanks to everyone.

David

Rosemary

Remember, good old Whitehouse with the look down the nose expression, mention the word ### and the world was coming to an end.

Graham

Rosemary

David, looking at your list I could have fancied you myself until I reached Irish music. Oh dear.

Graham

lynnxa

erm................I don't think you'd quite fit the bill, anyway

Rosemary

Leave Bill out of it.

Graham

Domino

Sue, don't blame yourself, you made a value judgement that some people didnt agree with. there may well have been a similar problem if it came out you had altered or deleted the post.

as the OP has agreed, there should be a separate forum for dating. we already have 2 up the top so why not a 3rd ? ?

although pushing the boundaries, this is advertising of one's self, one's assets; whilst advertising of one's company in a thread is not allowed.

rgds