Five years ago, I foolishly bought myself a five litre, V8, S500 Mercedes, the limousine model, 13 years old, to reward myself for serving Queen and country for many years. I‘ve had five years of infinite pleasure, driving around like Lord Muck.

The high emission levels meant that I could never get a legitimate ITV, so I had to go to the dodgy ITV places and pay my way, which really pissed me off.

Today, I decided to put my beautiful car through the local ITV place, because I was fed up paying idiots for nothing.

It passed, and I’ve been punching the air ever since.

If anyone has the same problem, Wynns petrol additive is the answer.

Well done you! It's actually the diesels which seem to have the biggest problems with the ITV, and is the reason I swapped mine for a gas model last year. Did you wear a short skirt??

It’s funny you should say that, but I suggested to my wife that she should make an effort to look nicer than usual and she did; not with a short skirt, not in this weather, but she did look the business. So did the car, I polished it until it was gleaming. And I used air freshener on the inside.

I noticed that while we were driving over several roundabouts to allow the petrol additive to mix, girls in short skirts were waving at the car.

"Honest I was mixing my petrol additive, why else would someone cruise around roundabouts in a limo I mean really?"

A pimp machine?



or funeral for a friend?

Sorry.................... good information about the Wynns HGB

very interesting

as my car has been close to failing on emissions for the last 2 years ITV.....

A good high speed run just before going for the test will also help, or if not possible, keep it in a lower gear at high rpm will help.
Make the engine work for a living & a good long hill will assit in this, and turn it off ASAP as letting it idle/tick over is not helpful.

That’s exactly the advice I was given, after a full service. I added Wynns petrol additive to a quarter tank full, filled it up to half a tank full (cost me 50 Euros for petrol and 9 Euros for the additive) and drove along a dual carriageway, over several roundabouts, in a low gear up to the speed limit.

(About the nice photo posted earlier, I’ve only got the front half of that car, but it looked so nice as I lined it up for the ITV lane, I felt like putting one of those wedding ribbons around it).

50 smakers for 1/4 of a tank!!!!

No a Merc, is too classy for wedding ribbons, leave that to old Rollers.

If I could afford it, and had the bottle, I’d be driving one tomorrow. I’m a traditional Escort man, I used to live within ten miles of where they built them, in fact, at one stage when the wheel fell of, I lived right next door.

Nevertheless, whenever good fortune came my way, I treated myself to a decent car. None of us live forever, and I would have hated to pass through the final curtain without having driven along the Autobahn in Germany at 160 mph.

I tried it on the M6 once, not at 160, but well over the maximum, and counting the points they gave me made me dizzy.

Escort man! How much per hour?

Done 160mph in uk on several bikes (160 was my brown trouser limit although the bikes could have gone further)
Only managed 145mph in a car, never had one faster than that.

HBG is talking about giving the Merc its head & not the Escort I think

150 was my fastest (indicated) on a bike near Spa on an Empty motorway with no junctions & the VFR felt rock solid !

I know an ultra respectable expat who lives nearby and drives around in a sedate Clio for six days of the week. On a Sunday he turns into a monster. He’s got a Honda bike in his garage, the top of the range, and when he gets all his gear on and revs it up, you can see him smile underneath his crash helmet.

I’ve seen him ride along the dual carriageway at the speed of light, just a flash of gold in the sun.

Tomorrow he’ll be back in his Clio, driving his wife to the sewing club.

I'm haveing problems at the moment buying a car (OH put foot down and said I can't have a bike again unless it's a Honda Goldwing) trouble is OH knows what I'm like and wont let me buy a fast car, I even suggested a Mazda RX7 and said it only has a 1.3 litre engine but thanks to the bloody internet and google I'm not allowed one.

Mhhh ?
Caterham super 7 with a 1600cc of some sort.
Cannot be that quick can it dear !