Ireland.
Jan 11th 2013, 6:07 pm
#1
Im a 77 year old nutcase
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Ireland.
A Little Irish humour,
So this is for the benifit of all my friends who are confused or alarmed by the recent images being broadcast around the world, given that we are now 15 years into the peace process..
The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland, but still pay in Euros.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France.
Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland . It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.
There are two parliaments in Ireland . The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced "Doyle"), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'placebo', or deliberately ineffective drug.
Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink!
We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin .
Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.
All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.
I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you.
So this is for the benifit of all my friends who are confused or alarmed by the recent images being broadcast around the world, given that we are now 15 years into the peace process..
The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland, but still pay in Euros.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France.
Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland . It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.
There are two parliaments in Ireland . The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced "Doyle"), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'placebo', or deliberately ineffective drug.
Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink!
We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin .
Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.
All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.
I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you.
Jan 12th 2013, 2:34 am
#2
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Joined: Nov 2008
Location: between cocentaina and gorga
Posts: 398
Re: Ireland.
A Little Irish humour,
So this is for the benifit of all my friends who are confused or alarmed by the recent images being broadcast around the world, given that we are now 15 years into the peace process..
The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland, but still pay in Euros.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France.
Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland . It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.
There are two parliaments in Ireland . The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced "Doyle"), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'placebo', or deliberately ineffective drug.
Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink!
We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin .
Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.
All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.
I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you.
So this is for the benifit of all my friends who are confused or alarmed by the recent images being broadcast around the world, given that we are now 15 years into the peace process..
The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland, but still pay in Euros.
Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France.
Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland . It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.
There are two parliaments in Ireland . The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced "Doyle"), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'placebo', or deliberately ineffective drug.
Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink!
We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin .
Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.
All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.
I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you.
Jan 12th 2013, 10:22 am
#3
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,041
Re: Ireland.
You didn't write this yourself did you Tommy Irene? Cut-and-pasting other people's writing without acknowledging them is illegal, did you not realise that? And if you are going to pass this garbage off as your own, at least get the dates right, the peace process did not start 15 years ago i.e. in 1998.
Jan 12th 2013, 11:05 am
#4
Im a 77 year old nutcase
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Playa del ingles...Gran Canaria..
Posts: 4,774
Re: Ireland.
You didn't write this yourself did you Tommy Irene? Cut-and-pasting other people's writing without acknowledging them is illegal, did you not realise that? And if you are going to pass this garbage off as your own, at least get the dates right, the peace process did not start 15 years ago i.e. in 1998.
Jan 12th 2013, 1:51 pm
#5
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,041
Re: Ireland.
Don't believe you, sorry. It's been doing the rounds on Facebook and Irish forums for years. Nobody knows the owner.
Put it in the Jokes section then.
Put it in the Jokes section then.
Jan 12th 2013, 4:24 pm
#6
Im a 77 year old nutcase
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Playa del ingles...Gran Canaria..
Posts: 4,774
Jan 12th 2013, 5:15 pm
#7
FreeThinker
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: the moors and levels
Posts: 9,702
Re: Ireland.
Dear oh dear!
Someone had a sense of humour bypass?
Please keep posting the jokes - I like them even if you don't acknowledge the source every time.
Someone had a sense of humour bypass?
Please keep posting the jokes - I like them even if you don't acknowledge the source every time.
Jan 12th 2013, 6:53 pm
#9
Im a 77 year old nutcase
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Playa del ingles...Gran Canaria..
Posts: 4,774
Re: Ireland.
Just to keep some people happy ..im a 73 yearold Irishman living in Gran Canaria..and i seen plenty of trouble in Ireland and the peace is not working on the Shankill or Falls..
Jan 12th 2013, 8:12 pm
#10
Im a 77 year old nutcase
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Playa del ingles...Gran Canaria..
Posts: 4,774
Re: Ireland.
Jan 12th 2013, 8:19 pm
#11
Im a 77 year old nutcase
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Playa del ingles...Gran Canaria..
Posts: 4,774
Re: Ireland.
..
Jan 13th 2013, 2:23 am
#12
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Joined: Nov 2008
Location: between cocentaina and gorga
Posts: 398
Re: Ireland.
You didn't write this yourself did you Tommy Irene? Cut-and-pasting other people's writing without acknowledging them is illegal, did you not realise that? And if you are going to pass this garbage off as your own, at least get the dates right, the peace process did not start 15 years ago i.e. in 1998.
In this case,does the date really matter?
it was funny
Jan 13th 2013, 11:35 am
#13
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,041
Re: Ireland.
Well, sorry everyone, but I had a hangover when I read it, didn't really take it in and thought it was just more paddy-bashing. If things are jokes, put them in the jokes section, not the discussion section! I'll shut up now.
Jan 13th 2013, 11:57 pm
#14
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Joined: Nov 2008
Location: between cocentaina and gorga
Posts: 398
Re: Ireland.
hangover or not, that was a bit heavy handed.
Now, correct me if I am wrong, but only moderators have the authority to say what can be posted,or where it should be posted
Now, correct me if I am wrong, but only moderators have the authority to say what can be posted,or where it should be posted
Jan 14th 2013, 7:08 am
#15
FreeThinker
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: the moors and levels
Posts: 9,702
Re: Ireland.
Fair enough. A hangover is good enough for me. Respect for having drunk sufficient to acquire one.
