Lionda

Oh Sally, whatever can I say, I want to hug you and also to hug MIL You have so much to go through and it isn't going to be easy. Sending lots of love and hugs to all xx

Cornish maid

Thanks Lionda. Just feel a bit empty at the moment. I said after FIL died that I never wanted to go through that again, please god I won't have to this time.

Terry and I have talked about what on earth we will do if it is cancerous, as we have burned our bridges, put in our notice for work, house on the market etc. We CAN'T afford to live here without a decent income, but we equally CAN'T just move away leaving her in the inexperienced less than capeable hands of our 23 year old son. Stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
Sally

Lionda

Slow down Sally - wait for the results and take it a day at a time

SueG

Oh Sally I do feel for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. As Lin says take one day at a time for the moment.

Have you thought about perhaps bringing MIL with you? From what I have read on here and heard myself the hospitals are very good here and she would be entitled to free health care being a pensioner. Just another thought to throw into the equation.

Sue,
xxxx

sarahchirles

Thinking about you. xxx

Cornish maid

Ironically, Sue, that was the plan! We were going to sell, and then settle over in Spain. Once we were settled, MIL would sell her flat and move over. She wants to live in an area strong with Brits, unlike us, so we have been looking to see the sort of property that would suit her but no be too far from where we want to settle.

It's just having to reconsider all the options at the moment which is exhausting. Whether she would still want to make the big move, whether we could actually physically get her there, whether we could reach a compromise over where to live...the list is endless. Add that to the sheer emotional rollercoaster we have been on for the last week and a half and perhaps you can understand why I am feeling so shattered!

I am sure things will sort themselves out one way or another, but just can't see an easy answer at the moment! Anyway, must get on and finish preparing/cooking dinner, so that I can set off in time for visiting again!
Sally

crispy

Sally what can any of us say, my thoughts and prayers are with you, Terry, MIL and the rest of your family. Do as Lin says and try and take a step back from it until you have all the information to hand. I know it is so much easier to sit back and say calm down but if you can try to do just that things will become clearer for you.

silverchick

Am so sorry to hear of your problems, as they say 'these things are sent to try us' but sometimes its all too much.
Sending love to you all xxxxx

squelch

I am so sorry to hear of your families worries at this time. I know it may take a while for the hospital to give you any concrete answers and I appreciate that this is a really frustrating time for you all, but try to remain positive. Hospitals never seem to go at the same speed as the rest of us (i'm a staff nurse) but there is usually a reason for this. Some tests and results can take a while. If I can be of any help with the jargon some hospitals use please pm me, take care xx

Cornish maid

Firstly, a big THANK YOU to all of you...I can't tell you how much your messages mean at the moment.

I phoned the hospital this afternoon and was told that MIL is prepped and ready to be taken down to theatre for an 'investigative procedure'. Staff nurse was surprised that we hadn't been informed, but I was just so grateful that they at last appear to be actually doing something, that I said it didn't matter. We can't get down there tonight, as it's Terry's late night where the paper goes to press. I told her we are both coming down tomorrow evening and asked if it would be possible to speak to a doctor at that time. She has promised to try and get something organised, but has told me to make sure we ask to see a doctor when we arrive.

One thing is for sure...hopefully we will at least know what we are dealing with tomorrow evening.
Sally

Sam Greenfield

Fingers crossed for you all - take care of yourself aswell.
Love Sam

squelch

Hi, you can always ring your MIL's consultants secretary and arrange a time to meet her team. That way there's no excuses on the day that the doctors are busy.

Cornish maid

Right guys, we know have the facts. Poor old mum in law has cancer. Tumour on her ureta (sp??) which was partially blocking it, preventing the kidney from emptying. Hospital fear that the tumour has gone into and through the wall of the bladder. They've removed as much of the tumour as was possible and have sent it away for analysis.

She is to have a CAT scan in 10-14 (yes, that long!!) days time. This will determine the spread of the cancer to the bladder and if it has spread anywhere else. Once they have that info, they can decide what treatment is best.

So, we aren't there yet, but at least we do know exactly what we are dealing with, even though we don't know the extent.
Sally

Sam Greenfield

Oh Sally - im so sorry for your distressing news - seems a long time to wait for a scan doesnt it but at least they are heading in the right direction now on working out a treatment for her. Big hugs to you all - you are in my thoughts and mainly take care of each other.
Loads of love
Sam xxx

Rosemary

Sorry to hear your news. Hopefully MIL will be feeling more comfortable with the removal of the tumour. From my position of sitting back and not being emotionally attached it is looking quite positive because they are talking about checking her out and then working out treatment and are not writing her off which is what can happen with her age group.

Make sure that you look after yourself, running to and fro the hospital is very tiring and you need to keep yourself well to be able to do that.

Rosemary