homesick
 

hi me and hubby moved to Spain in September. I know its prob normal but I am starting to feel really homesick already. I knew I would miss the grandkids etc but I didn't expect to feel this bad so soon. Can anyone tell me if this is a normal and if it passes with time? we have been planning this move for years and now we are here seems like a let down. many thanks

Re: homesick
 

Cannot really help much, karenorma, except to say that I have 2 children (boy & girl) both in early 20s. My son has a daughter (born before I left the UK) and another due early next month. We have been back to the UK once, only for 2 weeks earlier this year, but did see almost all of my family. However, I speak with them all regularly using Skype, which provides video as well as voice, and (maybe I'm sellfish), but have decide it is now my time. My ex-wife (my children's mother) and I gave up so much of our time for our children, and I work on the principle that they should now be prepared to do the same for their families. Of course you can miss them, but you can talk to, and see them, every day if you want to, and surely, as you are in Spain, you are only a couple of hours or so away (unlike me, half a World away in Malaysia, but still only around 24 hours away).

I believe you have to think positively, particularly if you have been planning the move for such a long time - surely you considered all of the pros and cons (particularly grandchildren) before accepting the move was the right thing for you to do?

Good luck, anyway. I hope you find the strength to continue making the correct decisions.

Re: homesick
 

look for some cheap flights back and for and enjoy the best of both worlds ?

Re: homesick
 

"Of course you can miss them, but you can talk to, and see them, every day if you want to" _ I'm afraid Skype is no substitute for a hug.

Re: homesick
 

Afraid I come across the same scenario quite a lot, but not usually so quickly.
Can't really advise you because you know your own feelings best, though it helps if you feel you have fitted in socially and are feeling at home in your new location.
However if your feelings and instincts are still quite as strong as you suggest, then maybe it's just not for you.

Re: homesick
 

Invariably grandkids grow up and do their own thing and you will probably be left out! It will be to late then for you to resettle into your original dream. Like other posters have said, cheap flights, Skype, telephone, emails or even send a short dvd for them to enjoy.

Re: homesick
 

My best friend move out to Spain in 2004, at the time she had three daughters and no grandchildren. One by one they married and had children, she went back to help with the early stages etc.

By 2010 she could take it no more, she now had six grandchildren whom she hardly knew. The visits from the daughters became less frequent.

Home is where the heart is. If your heart is back in the UK amongst your kids and grandchildren then you know the answer.

You had a dream, good for you, you followed it.

Some thins in life don't turn out as you'd wish. There is no shame in going home.

Re: homesick
 

maybe not - but the OH is there for that bit
:)
`

Re: homesick
 

may I ask - how long have you been planning the Spain Project ??
this is one of the things that all need to consider, but I can tell you that based on years of experience of having to leave home with the RN that it does happen and it can happen many many times.
and I would say that this is the right time for it to be biting :(

yes, it will pass, it will take time, you need to gather new interests to take your mind off it. you will find that it will fade but never go away - that is your love and affection for the family. they will have their lives to live and be getting on with them. Yes, "pity Granny isn't here to see this" will be said many times. But life is much easier nowadays with technology, but how often did you really see the family (or did you live next door ?).

how does the OH feel about it ? Does he feel the same way, are you being honest with each other ?
You need to make sure that this move is right for both of you, yes, an expensive mistake if you both go home, but remember that you can't let it drag you down and apart from each other. It is the family you are waking and sleeping with that is the most important.
Usually baby birds fly the nest, this time its the parents.

Try taking foto's of what you are experiencing, send them from your mobile in your own little private family circle (don't share facebook), keep in regular touch and don't be surprised to find that the constant communication will get less and less

Hope This Helps
KR

Re: homesick
 

I would give it more time, leave it until after Christmas, see how you feel then, but if the feeling doesn't go away by the summer, then go back. It's your life, and dreams quite often are not as we expect.

We were in Spain for eight years, and the longer we were there, the more I missed my life in my English city (although I did not miss it too much for the first five years) and we sold the house and came back at the end of 2011. We enjoyed our time in Spain, but a time came when we knew it was over. Never once regretted it (although I do not like these dark days and endless nights we have at this time of the year!).

Re: homesick
 

hi thanks for all your replies. I think the problem is we are not working here my hubby took early retirement so we have lots of time on our hands much more than when we were in the Uk.

I agree we need to find things to do maybe find some clubs to join.

The grandkids don't miss me half as much as I miss them lol.

From the other ex pats who live here I think I will feel up and down about things for a good few months.

Everyone I have spoke to so far loves it here and never wants to go back to Uk so fingers crossed I will feel the same :D

I don't think Christmas is helping

many thanks x

Re: homesick
 

Most expats miss their family at times, and Christmas is always an especially awkward time.

However, we've all bought duff cars, TVs, washing machines and other duff things at times, and how long do you hang on to them for? I would say that you haven't given Spain long enough, but how long is long enough before you know you've made the wrong decision?

Perhaps that's a personal decision to be made sometime after Christmas, the festive season is too near now.

Re: homesick
 

I hit a barrier like this around the six months and it also coincided with Christmas as we had never spent Christmas on our own before but during the holiday period we realised that it was the lead up that had caused me the problem.

Since then I think that my roots here have got stronger with each passing year.

I hope that you find a way of managing this hiccup and whether that is staying or returning I wish you luck.

Rosemary

Re: homesick
 

I do think Christmas has a lot to do with it. its my first Christmas away from my grandkids. my younger son is coming to stay with us our first visitor since we have moved here so that will soften the blow a bit.

im sure in the new year when everyone is freezing and im looking at my beautiful view of the sea I will feel better lol:)

thanks everyone this is a great forum nice to know others have been through similar things xx

Re: homesick
 

Why dont you go back for Christmas? I'm sure someone in your family could put you up