OK - I'll go first

If I pay good money for an item - whatever it is - I expect to be able to use/wear said item immediately, not have to alter it to suit!

Well, I have to admit that I have occasionally had newly bought clothes altered so that they would fit better in one respect or another. In fact I've just had a dress bought in the summer sale in El Corte Ingles let down by a couple of inches as I felt it was too short, but I liked everything else about it so I bought it anyway, having made sure the hem was deep enough to let down. I didn't have in done in-store, although quite possibly I could have done, as I didn't want to have to make a special trip back to collect it. A friend did it for me, and has made a very good job of it. I'm absolutely rubbish at sewing, wouldn't tackle anything more complicated than sewing a button back on. We were allowed to drop domestic science after the first year at my school, in order to concentrate on more academic things, and I couldn't get out fast enough!

Well, in the days before it became fairly easy to buy petite sizes (in the UK at least), being rubbish at sewing, I trained my OH to take up hems for me & he did very well!

Oh - and wundaweb - what a wonderful invention

Have you ever seen a Spanish funeral procession? ,right scruffy bunch but weddings are the complete opposite

Thats because weddings are invite only and reserved for best friends and family. While every man and his dog is meant to attend the funeral, including your gardener, bar man, portero and the dentist

Intersesting, is there actually a protocol for funerals?

In small villages you will find that mostly everybody will go to the cemetery and show their respects to the family of the deceased. That includes people who were just passing by, saw the funeral procession and joined to say their good-byes and maybe a pray for the deceased and for those left. Just as you see many people crossing themselves when they see an ambulance or a funeral procession. Or non religious people wishing well to the sick and relatives instead of crossing themselves.

I remember when my grandad died maybe 15 years ago in a small village of Segovia where he had lived for maybe 60 years. Most of the pueblo was there and there were many people we had never seen before, many from different pueblos who had barely known my grandad but heard of his death.

Unfortunately my grandma was already losing it by then, and when people spoke to her she started repeating that it was a very nice party and that we should do it again soon... well, better for her to think that, she actually had a good day.

Many people are cremated or buried in large cities, so you won't see all the community joining to give their condolences to the family.

In my personal experience, both from family and friends... people do not tend to stay after the burial or cremation, and it is rare to offer food and drinks. Normally people prefer to deal with it privately and only a handful of very close relatives and friends will stay with the family to help.

But yes, if you knew the deceased, it would be normal for you to at least give your respect to the family, make it religious or not.

In my town it is important to turn up at the church for the funeral service to pay your respects. The family and their closest friends go to the cemetery.

At the end of the service the men of the family go outside to accept condolences and the women stay in the front pew for the same purpose.

Dress appears to be unimportant as it seems to be more imperative to actually turn up. So if someone is working in the fields they come as they are, it truely does look like it is the thought that really counts.

Rosemary

Completely right, it's just a show of respect to the family an the decesased, dress is not important at all.

Thanky you evamar and Rosemary, it is interesting to learn these things.

Different than British culture then , turning up in scruffs would often be considered an insult and I'd probably think they were only there for the food and drinks afterwards!

Sorry, Rosemary, I meant attending the service. I said cemetery, but normally there are less people there, just as you said.

Dress is not important because normally there won't be food and drinks afterwards for everybody, that's more private in Spain than in the UK.

While I've been living in the UK I found that people deal with these matters in a completely different way than in Spain. Well, of course everybody reacts in his/her own way when somebody close dies, but I actually liked to see people sharing fond memories of the deceased as well as drinking a bit sending some farewell toasts.

In a couple of the gatherings people met at the home of a son or daughter living close, so that the widow could retire and rest if she so wished, which I also found very considerate. I like crafts and when a close relative of my British husband died I made for them a memory book for people to share some moments with the family and they told me that later they had a bit of a laugh when reading some of them, so I try to make one for the widow/er since. In Spanish guest books people normally simply give their condolences to the family and many don't share their memories of the deceased.

I'm not religious, so I think it's nice that people join to remember their lives, and not only to cry for their deaths. Not saying people should go blind drunk, but a bit of joy seems better than a lot of tears.

Funerals in Spain usually take place pretty quickly, sometimes from one day to the next, unheard of in the UK, where is usually takes about a week.

So with such short notice in Spain, it is understandable that people dont dress in rigorous balck for funerals, more come as they are.

Maybe climate has much to do with it.
Up in Sweden six weeks is not uncommon, though they do consider it disrespectful to have it over too quickly.

When I lived in the centre of a Spanish city, in an apartment overlooking a Church, I heard the Church bells announcing a death on practically a daily basis. I remember that only a few notes were played, the saddest music I've ever heard.

I never saw anyone going into the Church dressed in anything other than respectable clothes, though not always rigid black in colour.